what it feels like - Austin Butler

thirty-six - getting ready

Our week in France flew by quickly, spending the days eating, shopping, swimming, and "I love you,"-ing. After today, we're only here for three more days before we leave for London.

Last night, Austin couldn't fall asleep for hours due to stress about tonight, so he's still sleeping at a little past 10 am. I've gotten ready for the day in a tank top and sweats, wearing no makeup and only brushing my hair. I'll leave those to the professionals. In an hour, Sandra and hair and makeup artists are supposed to be here, so I walk towards Austin.

He's sleeping with his mouth slightly open and his brow furrowed, he can't even relax while sleeping. "Aus," I softly say, brushing the hair off of his forehead. "It's 10, baby."

He abruptly wakes, gasping with a fearful look on his face. Once he realizes it's me, he lets out a sigh of relief, "Isla." and wraps his arms around my waist, standing next to the bed.

Austin pushes himself up and I sit next to him on the bed, putting my arms around his shoulders. "Finally get some sleep?" I ask, quietly.

"Hardly," he shrugs, "I kept waking up."

I gently kiss his forehead. "I'm sorry babe."

A few minutes of cuddling goes by when he questions, "What time did you say it was?"

"Like 10:15," I answer and he quickly shoots up, in a rush to get everything done. "Austin," I follow him into the bathroom, hugging him from behind, "It's okay, you have 45 minutes."

He collects himself with a deep breath and turns on the shower. I go back to the bed, relaxing while he takes a shower, then remembering the surprise I got for him. I decide to give it to him once we're completely ready to go to the festival.

A loud knocking comes from the door. I open it and Sandra comes in with a rack of clothing, and three other people follow behind her, carrying large boxes. Shit, they're early. Austin's going to be even more stressed now, but hopefully having other people around will help him to at least act normal.

The past few times he's showered on our trip he has come out of the bathroom towel-less, so I should probably warn him that they're here. After greeting Sandra and the other people who I learn are Alex, her assistant, James, a hairstylist, and Rosie, a makeup artist, I hear the shower stop running, and head into the bathroom. Austin gives me a confused look as I say, "They're here. Early." I throw a towel at him, not having time to admire his wet body, as I go back to the room. "Austin will be out soon," I smile.

Sandra hands me a robe, which I quickly replace my clothes with. Austin joins us, with just a towel around his waist before Sandra makes him change into a robe as well.

After hours of sitting in chairs having Rosie fix every blemish on our faces and James place our hair perfectly, Austin and I are both ready to get going. I've been so distracted this morning that I didn't realize that neither Austin nor I have eaten yet today so I send out an order for room service, which comes up quickly. Rosie and James are gone now, leaving us with Sandra and Alex.

I eat carefully, doing everything I can to keep my makeup exactly how Rosie did it.

Austin breaks the silence. "Babe I'm so scared," he tells me quietly, so no one else hears.

I face him, setting down my food and pressing a hand to his cheek. "You're gonna be so great, Aus. I can already tell."

"I don't know. I mean, Priscilla's supposed to be there. What if she thinks it was terrible? She was his wife. She knew him best." He's so worried about whether or not the movie will be to everyone's standards, but this one makes sense. I'd be scared too.

"She won't," I connect our lips in a short kiss, "I know it." Trying to change the subject, I walk across the room and get out the Cartier box. "I got you a little something for today."

"Isla Maeve. You didn't have to."

"I wanted to. Something special for your big day," I smile, handing him the box.

"What did I do to deserve you?" he asks, rhetorically, kissing my cheek and opening the box. Inside is the black and silver watch. "You don't like my old one?" he acts, offended.

"I just thought something fresh for today would be nice." I pull the watch out and wrap it around his wrist. "Looks great on you, Elvis."

He smiles and seems to finally get the confidence he needs for today.

Once we've finished eating, Austin and I are getting dressed. All of the people that helped us today have left and they're replaced with two photographers.

For the next hour, they're taking pictures of Austin in different poses all over our hotel room. Finally they leave and Austin and I are left to ourselves for 10 minutes before we're supposed to leave.

"I'm so excited," I tell him as I get my black heels on.

He's putting his boots on as he says, "You have to tell me what you really think about it though, Isla."

"I really think it's going to be incredible, Aus." I sincerely do think it will be great. He's poured two years of his life into this film and nothing but this film, and I've seen Baz's work before. He wouldn't settle for anything less than perfection.

Once we're both ready to go, he pulls me into a hug, holding on tight for minutes. "We've got to get going, baby," I say.

"One more minute," I'm not sure what he's doing but I don't mind. I could sit in his arms for hours on end. He finally lets go. "Thank you, I. I love you."

With my hands draped around his neck, my face lights up. "I love you more."

As we're walking out the door, hand in hand, I hear him mutter something under his breath. "Impossible."

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sorry for updating less, im running out of ideas lmao and school started again