Some hilarious scenes from TMAHLQ

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SOPHIA
Ashton and I came back from shopping when we sat in the living room with the others, Ashton still having his shoulders more tenser than usual and his jaw more clenched than before. Massimo eyed him as he asked, "You good, man?"

Ashton snapped his head towards him and retorted back, "Do you see me smiling? Huh? Huh? Huh? HUHHHHHH? "

Massimo nodded, "Okay, you aren't in a good mood, so what happened?"

"Disgusting pigs is what happened."

There was silence when Ashton kind of shouted, "Men, Massimo, men! Perverts, ugly, hormonal dickhead of a fucking, useless, disgusting, irritating men."

Massimo spoke after a pause, "Well, you are also horny most of the time."

Ashton picked up the nearest vase and threw it at him when Massimo barely dodged and escaped. I gasped and placed my hand on his arm, rubbing it and calming him down when I lovingly whispered, "Ash, calm down honey, it's okay." That is the thing that I had learned when the other person was mad. Don't shout at them or respond to them angrily, but converse with them in a calm tone. And Ashton, definitely didn't need people who would retaliate right now.

He nodded towards me and tried to calm down while still fuming when Emma asked, "What the hell happened actually?"

I sighed, "Ashton had a fight."

"Wha-"

"On the street. With a man. He is in the hospital right now."

Emma looked at him, "Ashtonnn-"

He sat up straighter and spit out angrily, "More than thirty, more than thirty, the sick old bastard was more than thirty I AM NOT EVEN CLOSE TO THIRTY DAMMIT!!!!"

Massimo had his eyebrows raised when he squealed at Ashton, "What the hell happened?"

Ashton grimaced, "Sophia's body happened."

I retorted to him, sitting up straighter, my back more erect, "EXCUSE ME-"

"BREASTS SOPHIA BREASTS! HE WAS STARING AT YOUR FUCKING BREASTS!!!"

"CAN YOU BLAME HIM?"

There was deafening silence when Ashton looked at me with his eyes wide, his mouth agape, not believing what I had said when I grinned sheepishly and slithered back into my seat and whispered, looking adoringly into his eyes, "Cannnnn you blame him?"

And Ashton got up from the seat, picked me up and threw me over his shoulders carrying me to our room when he grimaced, "I'll tell you if I can blame him right now or no. If you are sore, I'll say that okay I can't blame him and if you are not sore, well this isn't happening so might as well just forget this."

*

ASHTONSophia entered my office, a CD in her hand and a very confused look on her face when she asked, "Umm Ashton..... did you ask Massimo- by the way, what are you doing?"

"I'm auditing a report, my love."

"What?"

"Auditing. According to the recent definition taken up by books and even google now, it typically refers to financial statement audits or an objective examination and evaluation of a company's financial statements usually performed by an external third party or even-"

"Okay. Did you ask Massimo to get me something?"

I nodded and went back to looking at the file I was auditing, "Yes amore, you were getting bored and your heart wasn't into Netflix due to I guess, your hormones or whatever, so I asked Massimo to bring some movies for you which you could watch and I really don't know why I said that but I had no other thing in mind. I thought maybe the idea of Cd's might make you feel better and-"

"He brought a compilation of porn videos."

My head snapped up when I looked at her, the silence deafening in the room when I looked at her, my voice sounding like death, "What?"

She jutted her hips out and held the CD in her hands, "He said that you told him that I was feeling horny all the damn time and that you couldn't have sex a lot and hence to solve my problem, you asked him to get me these tapes so that I could watch it and help myself."

This. IDIOT.

I got up heatedly, grabbed the CD in my hands and marched towards Massimo and Ella's room. Usually, I knock before entering a couple's room but what the fuck man. What the hell was his problem? I barged inside the room to see that Massimo had pinned Ella to the wall and was kissing her when they both sprang apart and his eyes widened, "Dudeeeeee, you should have knocked." And thank God, they were fully clothed.

I placed my hands on my heart, "Oh, I am so damn sorry, I am really sorry sir Massimo, let me retry and make it sure that I live up to your ultimate expectations because I live under your rules and regulations, your Highness, Your Majesty." and I literally stood there and rapped my knuckles against the open door, still in their room when I looked at him, "May I come in, my Lord?"

Ella wrapped her arms around herself and rubbed her arms, "Umm Ashton..... you are really freaking me out now. I know Massimo did something, pretty huge by what you just did, but what did he do now?"

I stepped out of the room when I grabbed Sophia lightly by her ear and dragged her inside. I had heard some shuffles from outside when I knew she was eavesdropping. Look at me now, Sophia was the pregnant one but my mind was going in shambles. I made Sophia sit on the bed and stood back at my original place, crossing my arms when I looked at Massimo, "Continue doing what you were doing with her." and then I looked at Sophia and smiled that uncomfortable smile I did to cause the other person to shit in their pants, "My love, live porn for you. There you go, enjoy it."

Massimo's mouth formed an O when he grinned, "Mannnn, I had to tell the store manager that I was buying it for you. I even signed your name there while buying it." and taking my shoe off, I muttered while going towards him to beat the living crap out of him, "The lion, the witch and the audacity of this stupid bitch no idea why I am saying this." and I started to beat Massimo like never before when midway, I stopped and picked up my phone, still breathing heavily when I dialed Viktor's number, another one of my men who picked up on the second ring, "Boss."

"Do me a favour, Viktor."

"Yes boss?"

"Do you know any skilled guy in IT?"

"Yes."

"Great. Take any picture of Massimo, edit it till he is naked with only his underwear on and write the caption over it, 'Porno star missing.' and for contact, give my other number which I use for meetings. I want these posters to be up in the city in the next two hours. Every kid in the neighbourhood should know."

"Umm sir........"

"You want yours too?"

He immediately responded, "No boss, no no. I'll get Massimo's posters up."

"Great."

I.......... I was losing my mind.

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TMAHLQ part I and II are available on Amazon, both e-book and paperback version, the rest will be live any month now.

Peace.

A.ZChaudhry

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