ephemeral // matty healy

too cool

"Thanks for coming over tonight," she said with a smile. Bo looked into Stella's eyes and knew that she needed a friend this evening. His heart softened into his chest.

"Believe me, it's no problem at all."

"There's some leftover casserole, if you'd like." Bo shook his head. He was already stuffed from the feast that he ordered at the pizza place in town. His mother appreciated it, especially because he knows she likes anchovies on her pizza. He puts up with it because she is his mother, obviously. He watched Stella shovel her leftovers into takeaway containers from the couch.

"What do you want to do?" He inquired. With her back turned toward the fridge, she shrugged. Bo was settling into the couch, sinking further into the upholstery. "Maybe have a night in?"

"That's kind of what I was hoping you'd say," she sighed. "But I might fall asleep if we watch a movie." Stella faced to see Bo stretching his arms across the back of the sofa; it was his turn to shrug.

"Do you have any board games?" His tone was optimistic, hoping to keep the mood light. Bo could always tell when she had something on her mind. She would always pick at her nails. Biting, pulling at hangnails, ripping acrylics and picking at nail varnish were common tells. Just as he suspected, her thumb rose to her mouth before she carefully gnawed at the nail bed. She thought for a moment, before taking her hand away from her face and jogging to some storage under the television.

"I have a deck of cards." She nodded and pulled out the deck, revealing the artistic drawing on the back. "They have nudie ladies on them!"

"Oh, my goodness," Bo laughed before agreeing. She sat on her knees on the other side of the coffee table. He followed suit and dropped his bum to the floor.

"I just have to run to the toilet, but I'll set you up with a game before I step out. It's really fun. It's called 52 Pick-up. Have you played before?" Bo shook his head. Brimming with glee, she dropped the nudie ladies from her hands, and they both watched how they fluttered to the ground. "There's 52 cards in the deck. Pick them up! I'll be back!"

With a furrowed brow, Bo started to make a move to help. He found himself laughing until Stella emerged again, with a silly look on her face. She spoke with a mischievous grin.

"Did you enjoy your game?"

He loved her and he felt like all his love would overflow onto the floor if he opened his mouth. It was a dilemma, wanting to hold her in his arms, but not knowing how to drop the cards he had just picked up. Bo just laughed nervously, feverishly clutching the deck.

"Good, let's play something."

They had played War, Speed, and Bullshit. The latter of which was Stella's favourite game, mostly due to the fact she had won the most games of anybody else she knew. She has an uncanny method of lying about things that didn't matter. She lied to people that approached her at pubs, at past jobs. When Stella didn't care, it was easy for her to flex the truth.

The other reason for her success in this game but Bo's gullibility and his inability to make eye contact when he fibs.

"Five fives." She said as she placed a stack of cards on the pile. Bo scanned through his cards and placed one card on top of hers.

"One six," he said with an exhale.

"Bo?!" Stella said sharply. "Are you serious? There aren't even five fives in the deck!"

"Oh." His face reddened. "I don't think I am good at this game." She noticed that he hadn't looked at her since placing his card.

"By the way." Stella reached for the stack and spoke through her teeth. "Bullshit." Bo took the pile of cards before she even had the chance to flip over his final placement. Rolling his eyes in the process, he questioned her methods.

"How are you so good at this game anyway?" Stella simply shrugged.

"Everyone has their tells."

Bo glared at her at he took the stack of now forty cards and placed it in his hands. "I cannot even hold this; maybe we should stop here."

"Oh, I hope you aren't planning to go yet." 

"It might be that time," he said as he glanced on his watch. He stood up and offered a hand to Stella. She walked him to the front door, taking a deep breath in. "But I had a lovely time with you, as always, Stella."

She smiled. "So, I think I've decided to go to school. I'm going to accept my offer and I would start this September." Bo's expression lit up as his hands held onto Stella's arms in excitement.

"Oh my god! I am so happy for you!"  He squeaked. "That is so exciting!"

She laughed as he gave her a tight hug. " And I owe it all to you. Well, also your mum." She said into his shoulder. "You guys give really good advice."

They stood in silence, never once making a move to leave the soft embrace. It was warm, and neither wanted to let go. The only thing Stella could hear was her heartbeat echoing in her brain, until Bo broke the silence.

"I love you, Stella."

"Bullshit."

He pulled back to look at her face, his arms still around her. He couldn't decipher her expression. Her mouth held a tight line, but her eyes begged for him to say something. For a second, he thought he should stay strong to the truth. Releasing her and dropping his arms to the side, he sidestepped towards the door.

Not looking at her face, he laughed. "Yeah, you're right. Goodnight, Stella."

"I love you too, Bo." He nodded but didn't want to look up. He thought he might cry if he looked in her eyes. "I love you, too." She repeated.

Bo stepped over the threshold of the front door with a breaking heart. It bogged him down, he thought he wouldn't make it down the stairs because he felt so burdened by it. He turned back to see her leaning her head against the doorframe. Bo took her hand with urgency, squeezing it once before pressing it to his lips. 

"I love you." He said with tears brimming in his eyes. Stella noticed his voice breaking. It hurt both of them. She felt the same heaviness. With him still holding her hand, she took the other and gently placed it to his face before kissing him. It was full of an emotion she couldn't quite define, but Bo felt it.

It didn't mean it hurt less, but he understood.