where it all ends.

i

theme: 'enough 4 u'    /    'i knew you were trouble'

her swaying her body, his hands sliding across her skin back and forth, how it made her feel—she loved every bit of this. she still couldn't believe she was so wanted, the centre-of-attention for someone.

right now her skills as an idol weren't recognised enough by everyone. jisoo didn't want to complain though, it was only 2 years since their debut, what more could a visual expect?

she felt jackson's lips against her cheeks, hungrily scouring the area, and she smiled. a big accident was how he got to know of her 1-year-old crush on him. the rookie saerom, from fromis_9 had gotten pretty close to her and in the flow, she slipped and ended up ranting about her massive attraction towards the got7 rapper.

saerom, only intending good for her dear sunbae, ended up spilling it to someone else and from there it spread among idols till the subject himself heard. surprisingly enough, he texted her the next day and eventually, they both hit it off.

what she didn't know was that he had smirked when he heard the news and said, "okay then, let's have a go at this one too."

jisoo was jerked back into reality when he felt him tugging at her, asking her if she wanted to go have a drink. after more drinking and making out, her private chauffeur had dropped them home.

later that night, jisoo sat up in bed to watch her boyfriend's performance at today's mama. jackson had asked her to come out to meet him when the show was airing, but this repeat gave her the chance.

and suddenly she didn't wish she'd watched it.

jackson and nayeon, so fucking close in their surprise collaboration dance performance, so sensually bound to each other made her skin crawl in ways she didn't understand. meanwhile the fans everywhere had broken the internet, which was not a surprise.

she calmed herself down. it might have been an order from jyp, he couldn't deny that. she mustn't text him interrogating abbot it. or else he'd start again, about how she had no chill, how she liked to overreact and make a fuss about something so ordinary for idols, how she still was somewhat a rookie and had to grow more idol-like in her mentality.

lord. anything but that again. she loathed how inferior it made her feel.

his words made her feel overly-clingy, exerting extra effort for no reason. it made her feel like a loser. but, she told herself everyone has their downsides, his might be not knowing how to get the message through without twisting someone's feelings.

after the advertisement break, there came a bts video by mama.

the jack-yeon dance rehearsal.

this is where jisoo drew the line. jackson was being the best of a flirt, and a confused at first nayeon complied, not wanting to make the atmosphere awkward. they clicked so well together, unspoken lines in the eyes, many more comments directly said. a tear of anger rolled down her cheek.

how was jackson going to explain all this?

jackson did. or tried to. "it was just a publicity stunt jisoo, chill darling."

"all that kissing up to nayeon in the behind-the-scenes? did the company ask you to do that too?"

"geez, it was just to get our chemistry up a little. i feel a headache coming, i'm tired. can we not do this please?"

jisoo sharply inhaled then exhaled, "what are we, jackson. no, tell me. i've been trying my hardest—"

"that's the point, jisoo! don't you get it? why do you try so fucking hard? can we be laid back for a while, slow it down a little? this is the entertainment industry, keeping idols pleased never hurts."

he heard the woman scoff on the line, which was actually because her throat was too choked for words. he sighed.

"all i wanted was something new, a distraction from—"

"distraction?!", jisoo heard her own heart break, she strained her voice to get the word out. it sounded nothing like her, so broken yet dripping with bitter venom.

and that was the last he'd hear of her.

jisoo held her forehead harshly in her fingers, her head felt too heavy. she felt numb and hollow, not even able to cry, to let it out. an assortment of their best memories came flashing before her: when it was the first award show after they began dating and he sat straight opposite to her, sneaking heart fluttering glasses, when he'd passed her a chit later that night and they'd met so rebelliously backstage, when he'd found a countryside dispatch didn't have access to and they'd spent the best summer there, the next day she found him texting another idol but ended up believing him when he said she was a 'sunbae friend'.

had that been nayeon itself?

finally she teared up, and sobbed for hours. she was done being distractions; all she wanted was genuine attention and care towards her, something genuine in the scripted world she now lived in.

(hello, i know this is nothing like jackson but i really wanted to cast him here so yeah😭.

please keep in mind these characters have nothing to do with the idols irl. this is mere fiction.

enjoy! <3)

857 words

20/09/2022

~sid.