on the other side • muke

t w e n t y - s e v e n.

i tugged on my basketball shorts and a random shirt on the floor before leaving my house. it was nearly five in the morning, the sky a bright pink as i walked in front of the wooden fence and flung myself over it. it's been a week since i seen michael and other things caught my eye.

i looked down at all the pieces of paper on the lawn and started picking them up at random. by the time my pockets got full i went back over the fence and went home. each piece of paper unfolded neatly as i sat down and tried to piece them together.

i didn't know what they meant but i needed a distraction from my bullshit life. i don't even know what's real and what isn't anymore, everything is simply a blur that no glasses could correct.

i knew i couldn't just go crawling back to michael- no. i refused to let it happen as i rubbed my chin. i was in need of a shave but i decided to just let the stupid stubble grow out. another hand ran through my hair before i packed up all the pieces and stuffed them under the couch.

work can distract me right?

i took a quick shower and poured myself a quick bowl of cereal before heading out the door again. the store opens at eight meaning i had nearly two hours to kill. my feet pattered down the pavement and i sighed. how was i supposed to make this up with michael?

i was so stupid, so stupid to hide and runaway for something i had caused and was too scared to face. i deserved that slap, and michael didn't deserve to be told he didn't deserve me. i hated lily for telling him that, i hated ever going to her and the day i call her back is the day i'm buried six feet under ground.

the name rolled off my tongue with a develish grin because she might as well be satan. my thoughts roamed around with themselves before i finally came into town. the sky a mix of oranges as i stopped to look up.

the sun can move on right? it goes all the way around without a care in the world but no one says anything. it doesn't care what happened earlier in the day, it keeps going. maybe that's what i needed to do with michael.

my eyes darted over a corner coffee shop and i grabbed a donut and some coffee before actually going to work. i ate my second breakfast on the front steps on the store as i waited for the clock to turn.

everything was in the past now right? his parents probably don't even care and he owns his own house with a giant ass fence around it. but then i realized at that exact moment, i didn't have a reason to be mad at michael.

it was simply all my fault, and it hurt to know he tried to make it up to me.

the boy has every reason to hate me and i can't blame him, all i can do is watch.

i took out my phone seeing it was finally eight and set up the store. abbie came in fifteen minutes late and took my place behind the counter. we talked for a while, until it got interesting.

"something is off about you." abbie mumbled, flipping another page of her magizine.

"what do you mean?" i scoffed, trying to act offended but i smiled anyways.

"well you know how you were in that hospital for three days after the car crash?"

i blinked.

"car crash- wait what?" i set down the stack of records and walked over to the counter as abbie shrugged.

"yeah, calum called saying you were in the hospital because you got into a really bad accident. i couldn't blame anything though, it was raining pretty hard that night."

i blinked again.

"i was in a mental hospital." i told her, and i swore i told her this already. "ashton said i tried to kill myself and he put me in there, the voices had gotten worse."

this time abbie blinked.

"luke, you were in a coma for three days. did you dream of something?" she asked. i shook my head no.

"ashton even gave me these pills and they worked! they got rid of the voices!" i cheered but abbie didn't seem so excited.

"let me see those pills." i took out the bottle i kept with me in my back pocket and handed it to her.

"luke, these are pain killers."

i took the bottle from her and looked at it, advil was written across the top. "you probably dreamed of it silly." abbie shook her head in amusement.

"oh, yeah you're probably right." i said quietly, still confused. "then why haven't the voices come back yet? they disappeared after the coma or? i can't remember please help."

abbie looked at me. "honey, calum told me about michael. and the voices only seem to come back when you're not with him or overly thinking about him. so in this case michael is your medication you need an overdose." she winked at the end and i rolled my eyes.

"i guess, but i haven't seen michael in a week." i complained and abbie shook her head.

"look at you, talking about him every second of the day." she teased and went back to work. yes, abbie was actually working for once. i sighed, processing this new information as i stacked the shelves again.

the rest of the day was fairly busy, michael wasn't there which made me frown but abbie laughed and told me to cheer up.

but the funny thing was, i couldn't be happy when i didn't deserve it. i don't deserve to let michael cry over me and try to make things better.

he's done it too many times.

+

double update tonight bitches