meant to be?

31. get out of bed

it's been 2 days and i haven't done anything except lay in my bed.

well, actually, I got out to go pee a couple times and to feed Milo, but thats all.

i was currently laying in my bed staring at the wall when i heard my front door open. "IM COMING IN YOUR ROOM PLEASE DONT BE NAKED I BEG YOU!" i hear topper yell.

he walks in and sits on my bed. "i brought you your favourite bagel from the bagel place." he says as he hands me the bag.

"thank you but I'm not hungry" i say. "what do you mean you're not hungry you literally haven't ate in in two days." he says.

"I lost my appetite that's all" i say.

"come on kay, please eat this, then get out of bed, I can go get aria from rafes place we can take her to the park or something?" he offers.

i shake my head no.

"did you guys plan the funeral?" i ask. "yeah, we wanted you to have your opinion on things, but you won't even get out of your bed" he sighs.

"topper im not having a good time okay? i cant do this" i say.

"okay well you won't talk to me or dad, should I call someone else? will you talk to rafe.. unless you told him he doesn't know about mom." he says.

"no, me and rafe aren't good right now."'i say.

"what do you mean not good?" he asks. "i think he hates me." i say.

"he doesn't hate you i know that for sure. what happened?" he asks. "i dont wanna talk about." i say.

"okay so you want to talk to all three of us, do you want to talk to a girl or something? should I call sarah?" he asks. 

"i just wanna be alone." i whisper.

"its either i make you eat this or dads ganna make you eat it so just eat the bagel kaylen" he says.

i turn around in my bed and close my eyes.

"tell me when you know the day of the funeral, ill get out of bed for it." i say.

he sighs as he walks out of my room.

~

a couple hours had passed and there was a knock on my door.

"im sleeping!" i yell.

the door opens and rafe walks in shutting the door behind him.

"topper uh, he told me what happened with your mom im really sorry" he says as he sits down beside me.

"please leave" i say as nicely as i can.

"kay-" i interrupt him. "no-no-no i cant do this right now please leave." i say.

"look i just want to make sure you're okay." he says.

"clearly im not okay, and clearly you dont care, i literally walked in on you while your dick was in another girl" i say as i wipe a tear that falls.

"i only did that because i was mad at you for cheating on me, and i still am i just care about you and when topper said you weren't eating, and all you were doing was laying in your bed i needed to talk to you." he says.

"you didn't even let me explain you just blocked me rafe" i say.

"go ahead and explain now then." he says.

"i-" i take a breath before looking him in the eyes. "no." i say.

he looks at me confused. "you dont deserve my explanation, if you wanna believe i cheated on you go ahead." i say.

"fine-fine!" he says.

"please just eat your food" he says. "i cant have anything happen to you again, okay? i cant!" he says.

"leave." i say.

"not until you eat this!" he says.

i get out of my bed, and see topper and my dad in my living room.

i walk past them and go outside, going to the backyard and sitting on the cold hammock.

topper comes outside.

"why would you call him topper!?" i say angrily as i wipe away all my tears that fall.

"im sorry i really thought you could make you feel better." he says softly.

"mom just died i dont want to feel better! okay? the last times ive talked to her were all fighting, and i wish i could change that but i cant!" i say.

he takes a deep breath before sitting on the hammock makes it fall on to the floor making me laugh.

"i put this up myself, it cant take more then one person" i say while laughing.

"at least i made you laugh." he smiles.

"come on, lets take milo for a walk, you can talk to me, rafes leaving aria with dad so we can come back and take her out of ice cream." he says.

i nod as i stand up.

he goes inside to get milo and we start to walk.

"tell me what happened now." he says. i nod.

"so um you know barry? well, a while ago, he came to my house and said that rafe owes him money, and I have three choices, either I gave him money which I didn't have or he would.. do th hockie pockie with me, or he would take aria until he got his money, and I couldn't just tell him to fuck off and kick him in the balls because he had a gun" i explain.

"so obviously I picked the second option, but before anything could actually happen rafe came and saw this, and made a barry leave" i say.

And everything's been find except He came back to my house, and actually did the second option, no rafe this time, and will when he was done, he showed me that he had taken a video and you couldn't see him, but you could see me and he sent it to rafe from an anonymous account." i say.

"so-so rafe thought i cheated on him, and so i wanted to go see you because i needed someone, but when I walked into the house, I just saw mom dead." i say.

"a-and rafe i went to rafes house, not to talk to him because he was mad at me for "cheating" but just so I can take aria home because I need it someone and i knew she could make me feel better" i say.

"but when I got there, I walked into rafes bedroom and saw him literally inside another girl getting revenge or whatever." i say.

"and as much as i wanted to pretend i didn't need him and i just wanted aria i really needed him. he knows what its like to not have his mom so i just wanted him to tell me everything would be okay a-and i dunno give me a hug but no." i sigh.

"holy shit thats a lot. im really sorry thats like.. really fucked up" he says. "i know" i say