Chapter 56 || The Garden

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Ayoooooo Happy Friday!

Jayce POV

"Jayce? Can I...come in?"

My fingers dance along my family portrait coming out as a hologram off my device. I place my fingers on my mother's face, then swipe it so she disappears from the hologram. I do the same with my father, ignoring the obvious sound of Natasha entering the room, then do the same with Peter until it's just me.

It was our Christmas card a few years before my parents died. We looked so happy. Peter was so small, his teeth had started to fall out so his adult teeth could grow in. I was dating Gwen.

May and Ben were happy and living their best lives, we'd see them on the weekends.

"Last one standing," I mutter, staring at the image of a younger, innocent me, staring back at me.

I can hear Natasha's breath hitch, telling me her emotions are hiking up, getting to her. Part of me feels bad. And I know I should feel bad for how absent I've been. But the guilt for that doesn't bother me much.

The guilt from failing does.

Every single time someone I loved was in need, I failed them.

I failed Mom.

I failed Dad.

I failed Ben.

I failed May.

I failed Peter.

I failed Pietro.

I failed Wanda.

I failed Gwen.

It's almost like once I love someone, they're bound to die. Like I have some sort of death curse attached to me.

Yet it's never me that dies.

Guess it makes sense since the love I have for myself goes in and out. Right now, it's out.

There's no love I have left.

"You're not alone, Jay."

I couldn't stop the comical scoff that came out. It was like an instant reaction to such a statement.

Though I can already see the hurt on her face. And I hate hurting Natasha. But something in me doesn't even care enough to console her right now.

She walks around, stepping into the hologram and in front of it, staring down at me. I meet her gaze and spot the tears threatening at her eyes, the very slight tremble to her body as she looks at me.

Her eyes are expressing pure pain, like just looking at me hurts her. And I'd be lying if I said it didn't sting. It does. Hurts like hell for the woman I love to be looking at me like that, like a goddamn crime scene or a kicked puppy.

"You don't have to do that."

"Do what?"

"Look at me. Clearly bothers you to do so."

I grab my device and shove it into my pocket, then stand up and walk to the door.

"Jayce!"

My body stops in place when I expect her to either A: whip me around to face her or B: walk in front of me.

She goes with A.

"I am here, you know. I am right here. We all lost people and now the only people we have left is each other, isn't that something to hold onto?"

I feel like I'm not even present. I know she's right, I should be at least grateful she's still here. And I am.

But I'm more angry and sad than anything else.

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