𝑹𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒓𝒂 • yeonbin {BOOK 2} ✓

°•❁𝒔𝒊𝒙𝒕𝒚 𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒆❁•°

°•°•❁•°•°

𝑻𝒉𝒆 next days passed by in a blurry, soobin barely managing to process or even feel anything. he was just left numb. the kingdom was holding an entire week of grieve for their last queen, people's bright smiles getting replaced by frowns and worried eyes. jungkook had to omit the reason of rhea's death, to not make things worse and grow his citizens weaker and with less trust in the crown. it was his first act as a king; lie.

soobin couldn't bring himself to leave his room after the funeral, who took place in the castle's garden, a pretty ceremony where all people, from commoners to elites, were invited. it was beautiful and meant to remind everyone of how rhea was a fighter and strong woman, how she once fought for her kingdom and lost a wing because of it. heaven's people loved her, so it was a hard time for the whole land.

jungkook didn't blame soobin, but the younger could still see the resentment hidden on his eyes, just like he could see in his other siblings and queen ann too. he was glad no one mistreated him or said he was at fault, as he wasn't sure if he could take that, but he knew they were hurting too much, and people normally tried to find something or someone to blame for their pain. it was okay though, soobin could understand it wasn't really intentional, but something out of control.

still, it was a lot to handle.

the black haired had started to cry again, to feel sad and curse his mind into thinking about yeonjun. he couldn't believe the demon had gone as far as using him, even if it was still an assumption. it was hard to think king daniel was the person he loved, the caring and warm person, the one with pretty smile and gentle eyes, the one who loved him, who showed how he could love again, who made him understand what love actually was and how it felt when right.

the only things he had now were cold eyes and sickening indifference. it made him upset, not only because of himself but because of yeonjun too. who the male had even turned himself into? probably a worse version of hyukjun that was nothing more than heartless and putrid. soobin wondered where it was, where his daniel was, the one he loved so dearly and knew would be worth all the hurt.

he was starting to believe there wasn't such daniel anymore.

it's okay to give up on him. taemin's words had been running on his mind nonstop, as if begging to be heard, craving for making soobin understand the meaning. maybe he should give up after all, maybe there was nothing else to fight for, maybe the daniel he loved was dead along with the crystalian who asked him to try. soobin knew he did, he knew he tried, maybe even more than he should, but yeonjun was still confusing him.

he wanted to give up, but he was faced by hesitation every time he saw a glimpse of warmth hidden secretly on the demon's irises, as if whispering to him that his daniel was still there. he insisted so much on yeonjun, tried so hard to fix things and understand the male, so it was hard to simply drop it all, to simply forget everything and give up. though, he wanted to.

soobin wanted to give up on yeonjun.

love was a curious thing, after all. soobin had realized to hate it and crave for it at the same time. he was divided into tearing everything he had with yeonjun apart and doing everything he could to be in the male's embrace again, it was exhausting and painful. it killed him little by little, filled him with bitterness, but the second of warmth he got from time to time flooded him in so much euphoria, so much joy and hope that he wanted to grasp on those tiny moments for his dear life.

he knew no one could love him like yeonjun did, no one could adore his scars and pains just as much as his smiles and laughs like the demon did. no one could see him like yeonjun, touch him like he did, comfort him or understand him like the older did. so soobin was conflicted, maybe he didn't want yeonjun to go, maybe he just wanted to be a part of yeonjun's life even if it meant hurting himself, maybe he wanted to be the person yeonjun would bleed and smile for, but maybe he wanted to choose himself and leave, maybe he wanted to give up, maybe he wanted to try and find someone else whom loving wouldn't hurt so much, maybe he wanted to forget everything yeonjun once said and did.

the angel knew he was cursed, he knew he could never forget yeonjun when every time he looked on the mirror he was faced by red lines that beautifully adorned his ribs and marked him as the demon's. every time he looked at hell's symbol he was reminded of the day it was made, of the way yeonjun adored from his soul to his body, of the love on the male's eyes and of the silent promise of belonging to him forever.

soobin wanted his daniel back, because he couldn't let himself love the cold and strange person the demon had became.

it was like loving his death, his pain, his suffering and his ruin.

the angel sniffed softly, cleaning his wet cheeks with the hem of his hoodie as he again cried for someone who didn't deserve it. his tears were entirely meant for yeonjun, he could feel guilty and distressed by the fact he indirectly killed his mother, but deep down he knew it wasn't his fault and in the end, he never loved her. he was sad, of course, but soobin didn't knew the woman or had a connection with her that would take tears out of him when she left.

he got up from his bed slowly, taking the heavy duvet off his body and making his way to the balcony. it was night, heaven always felt prettier at that time for some reason, at least in soobin's eyes, but that was probably because of the so many late night encounters he had with yeonjun before, or maybe because of the stars dotting the dark sky that reminded him of yeonjun's black eyes he hadn't seen for so long, or maybe because the chilly weather was almost the same as hell's castle. though, he suspected it was more because of the fact that even when ridiculously pretty, it was still nothing compared to how yeonjun used to look at him.

the black haired's eyes dropped to the side, staring at the tulip he cherished so much and was so afraid of seeing dying. there was no point anymore, the flower was already dead. it's pretty petals that once were colored in vivid red and made him feel warm were dry and scattered on the vase's dirt, waiting for a strong enough wind to blow them away. he bit his lip, so hard he could taste blood, as he stared at the dead tulip, mind filled with words and actions that before were his everything but now were left as a curse.

soobin grabbed the vase, taking the plant out of it as his cheeks were painted by crystal clear lines that made him taste saltiness. he held the flower and looked at it for a moment, memories of how it reminded him of yeonjun filling his mind, images of soft smiles and shiny eyes, sounds of pretty words and comforting laughs. he didn't want it anymore, he didn't want to get reminded of it, he wanted to hate it. he wanted to stop hurting and stop holding onto hopes that ended up being lies.

the angel sobbed, squeezing his hand in a first to try and gather courage enough, waiting for when he would finally be done with all the bullshit yeonjun made him go through. then he threw the flower away, he let it rest dead and forgotten, away from his sight and heart. he wanted it to rotten, to disappear and never get reminded of again.

but still, he longed for seeing the flower on his balcony before closing his eyes to sleep. still, he longed for the warmth and comforting color, for the beauty and gentleness it had while standing and alive.

yeonjun was making him a soul getting endlessly punished in hell while still alive. he was making him pay for his sins before truly needing to.

he was killing soobin inside out.

°•°•❁•°•°
•°❁°•

°•𝒂/𝒏 • yall fuck the break, i was going insane without updating lmao•°

°•❁•°
°•°•❁•°•°