𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒. ( 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘣𝘰𝘺 )

helpful conversations

Thanksgiving was over and they were teetering on the very end of November. Just because Ponyboy was home doesn't mean that everyone else didn't need to work. Everyone was off at work besides Johnny who had the day off. So they were spending time at Johnny's shared place with Dallas. The redhead was happy to hang out with him. With college and work of his own back in California, keeping in touch was hard. But he always did his best.

Johnny takes a sip of his Pepsi as he lounged on the couch with Ponyboy. His company was always some of his favorite. Throughout the years, he felt as if he knew Ponyboy better than anyone. And the younger male could say the same about him.

They've always been as thick as thieves. If both of them were missing and couldn't be found, when you find one of them, you find both of them. Their dynamic was interesting to the rest of their friend group. Wordless conversations and prolonged moments of silence between them. Everyone found it hard to believe that they'd be such good friends with so little words between them.

Although when the two were alone, both became motormouths very quickly. They loved talking to one another. Sure, comfortable silence was always welcomed sometimes, but they did actually hold long conversations.

Now though, it was just comfortable silence as they sipped their drinks on the couch.

Although Johnny was quick to interrupt that silence.

"Do you wanna fill me in on why you and Steve are practically eye fucking one another?" Johnny asks bluntly, a small smirk on his face. He turns his head slightly to look at his best friend. "The whole time you've been home it's just been you two starting at one another and flirting."

Ponyboy chokes on his Pepsi, coughing and covering his mouth. He hadn't expected those to be his friend's first words. The redhead stares at Johnny with wide eyes, his face red from the coughing. Although he was flustered too.

"Excuse me?"

"You can't tell me that nothing is going on," Johnny responds. "The playful banter, Steve's blushing, your blushing, Steve wearing your hoodie with your last name on it knowing well you've got other sweatshirts. The god damned face holding! Ponyboy, you look like you're gonna make out with him when you get too close!"

Ponyboy's face heats up more and he clears his throat.

"It really does look like that, huh?" Ponyboy finally responds.

"Yes, yes it does."

The redhead smiles gently. He loved how blunt Johnny could be about things sometimes. Johnny always told him what he needed to hear and not what he wanted to hear. That was a good friend in his book.

"I kinda... maybe... sorta... have a crush on him," the redhead draws out slowly.

"How long?" Johnny questions.

"Since we were kids. I know that he used to be pretty mean but I can see why he was like that. His dad always kicking him out before bribing him back with money, his mom leaving him when he was little. That would make anyone a dick. And as much as younger me wanted to be so mad about the treatment, I knew that he never really hated me..."

Johnny's eyes widened a bit at the confession. Since they were kids? And this was the first he's heard of it? Ponyboy and him never really kept secrets but it seems as if Ponyboy has internalized his feelings and buried them. It was shocking to find out.

"And as we got older, it was really bad. I couldn't even look at him without feeling my heart try and bust out of my chest. He became nicer. And that did me no favor in my feelings."

He remembered a lot about his crush on Steve while growing up. The redhead would draw him in his sketchbook, claiming that he needed practice on the body. He would sit and watch Steve work on cars while shirtless and he couldn't stop staring for the life of him, chugging the Pepsi he always had to focus on something else. He remembered seeing him with Evie, kissing her gently and holding her hand like she was the greatest thing in the world, like he wasn't ashamed. And Ponyboy had been so damned ashamed of himself for having the feelings that he did.

He'd found the guilt overwhelming at the immense amount of joy he felt when Soda told him Evie had dumped Steve. It was meant as a warning to his dangerous behavior soon to follow since Ponyboy had always gotten on his nerves. But there was no anger that followed. There was only a sadness about him.

Steve had spent a lot of days being quiet on their couch, a beer in his hand as he tried to cope with losing someone. It was so similar to how he was when his mom left. Steve had been so hopeful that she'd return. As days turned into weeks, turned into months, turned into years... he realized that she wasn't coming home.

Steve was afraid of people leaving him.

And Evie had left.

"And you've never said anything to him?" Johnny asks gently. Ponyboy had seemed so deep in thought that he was almost afraid to break it. "Anything at all?"

Ponyboy shakes his head.

"I've always been afraid of what he'd think of me... of someone like me..."

Johnny scoots closer to Ponyboy, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and tugging him close. He knew that feeling all too well. It was a feeling that had consumed him for as long as he could remember. It took a lot to finally snap out of it.

"Well, I'd say with how he's been treating you these past few days, you're gonna be okay," Johnny responds gently, a small smile playing on his lips. "I think he likes you too, a lot more than he's ever let on."

"You think so?"

"Of course. He looks at you like you hung the moon. Anyone can see it. It's just that you guys are tiptoeing around your feelings and not acting on it. Actions speak louder than words."

"Well, I've always been a words kind of guy."

Johnny snickers.

"I think it's time you be an action man."

The redhead grins widely, resting his head on the older male's shoulder. Johnny had always known just what to say to make him feel better. He was just magical in that sense, always has been.

"I don't wanna force you to do anything about your feelings... but I suggest you do something about those feelings. I don't know how much longer I can take you two giving one another those puppy eyes and whatnot."

Ponyboy rolls his eyes.

"I watched you and Dal do that for so long before I finally told you to do something about it."

"Where do you think I got the advice?"

Johnny grins widely, a laugh escaping his lips. The younger male could only groan, tipping his head back against the couch while still staying in Johnny's grasp. The comfort of a friend went a long way sometimes.

"I'll figure it out."