operation heartbreak

232 12 20
                                    

Ponyboy had taken Johnny's advice to heart. It was time for him to be a man of action. Although he wouldn't lie and say the thought didn't scare him. He was absolutely terrified. It didn't matter that Steve was flirting with him in return. The redhead was still expecting rejection. The male figured that it was a normal thing to expect.

In dating, he was used to being the butt of the joke.

It was finally December, the cold chilling the male to the bone. He never liked being cold. He'd been debating over when he should tell Steve since he talked to Johnny. It had been a couple days.

The redhead chews at his lower lip, pacing the living room in thought. He was trying to figure out how to go about saying anything to Steve about his feelings. Words were his thing, yes, but confessing to his life-long crush was not. He'd never been good with words when it came to Steve.

Steve made his brain fog and his stomach fill with butterflies. His face always got red and then he was a stuttering mess for the rest of the conversation. He'd gotten better about it over the years, but it was still scary.

He takes a deep breath before turning and looking at the front door as it opens. The male had been home alone since even Johnny had work today. Although he was surprised at the sight of Steve stepping through the front door. It was early afternoon, so he wasn't sure why he was still here. Maybe he got out early. Maybe his hours changed.

Steve furrows his eyebrows at the sight of Ponyboy pacing the floor when he gets inside. Although the redhead was quick to stop once he saw who was at the front door. The brunette offers a gentle smile, kicking off his shoes and plopping onto the couch.

He tips his head up to look at Ponyboy, which wasn't really anything new. The worried look on the redhead's face is what got him questioning the situation. The older male didn't know what Ponyboy would be freaking out about.

"What's got your panties in a bunch?" Steve asks, a teasing smile to his lips. He figured that keeping it light-hearted would make him less nervous. "You're gonna burn holes in the carpet with all your walking. Darry's gonna make you pay for it."

Ponyboy's shoulders relax a bit at Steve's teasing, the atmosphere much less tense than the one he originally had created. His heart was pounding in his chest still, hands tightly gripping the hem of his sweatshirt. Grounding himself seemed to help.

"I uhm... I've been thinking about something," the redhead starts slowly.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

The redhead nods his head slightly in response, chewing at his lower lip. He needed just a few moments to collect his thoughts. But the way that Steve was looking at him wasn't helping. His eyes were filled with amusement and concern and his lips were pursed; his eyebrows furrowed just ever so slightly.

Ponyboy's heart was caught in his throat, and he wasn't sure if he could ever swallow it. The younger male needed to find his courage and find it now. He's been backing down from this since they were young, always burying the words before they could escape his lips and ruin everything.

"I was thinking about someone," the redhead finally blurts, his pale cheeks growing hot from his own vague confession. "I'm not sure what I should say to them. They make it so hard."

Something in Steve's stature changes and his eyes fill with something sadder. The older male simply nods his head though, clasping his hands on his lap. His heart was aching in a familiar way. Like how it ached for so long after Evie broke up with him.

"Well, just saying it is always a good start," Steve starts, cracking a smile that seemed fake if anyone knew him well enough. "If it's what I think you're talking about, anyway. Confessing and all that sappy shit."

Ponyboy nods his head slightly, heart still thumping in his chest rapidly. He changed how he was standing, straight with his shoulders back. The male needed to be confident and just say it. Everyone lately had been telling him that. But they've obviously never been his shoes and certainly not staring down the man he's grown to love over the years.

"Just say it," the redhead breathed out in an echo, still staring at Steve as he sat on the couch. No one was home and it was perfect. It was just the two of them and even if something bad happened, no one would be there to gaze upon his shame. "Just say it..."

Steve stares right back at Ponyboy, shifting on the couch to sit with his body leaning forward. His own heart was racing as it ached, his stomach twisting uncomfortably at the dread and heartbreak that he felt.

It would never be him, would it?

It would never be him.

Ponyboy parts his lips finally to say something but he was quickly cut off at the sound of the front door opening. The redhead's eyes tear away from Steve to see a bubbly Soda rushing inside. Everyone had been coming over more often while Ponyboy was home for college, wanting to spend time with him before he headed back.

"Steve, Steve!" Soda exclaims happily, rushing over to his best friend who had been sitting on the couch.

Steve turns his head away from where he'd been previously looking at Ponyboy. Soda's excited tone had captured his attention. Not that the blonde meant to. He was just excited about whatever he had to share.

"What?"

"I got a raise, man! Can you believe it?"

The brunette grins widely at Soda's words. More income was always so exciting. Although when he glances over at Ponyboy, his heart stopped in his chest and his smile was gone.

Ponyboy looked defeated and sad, like all of the air had been brought out of his sails. His shoulders were slumped, and his hands were now limp at his sides. His eyes were glassy as he stared at Steve with saddened eyes. The brunette didn't understand why he looked that way.

The redhead takes a shaky breath before leaving the room and closing the door behind himself. There was no way that he could ever tell Steve how he felt about him. Things would keep getting in the way. People would keep getting in the way.

A tear slides down Ponyboy's face as he sits on the edge of his bed, eyes concentrated on the grooves in the wooden floor beneath his feet.

Back in the living room, Steve eyes the empty spot in the living room that Ponyboy had been occupying only moments before. Soda's expression was still excited, not even paying attention to the fact that Ponyboy had left the living room. He glances at where his best friend was looking, laughing gently.

"Steve? Are you listening to me?"

Steve turns his head slowly to face Soda again, a tense grin making its way back onto his lips. He didn't want the blonde to think his mind was elsewhere, even if it was.

"I'm listening. You got a raise. I'm so happy for you." the older male responds, forcing a small laugh.

Soda just goes back to grinning just as wide as he had moments before, nodding his head excitedly.

"Isn't that great?"

"Yeah, that's great, Soda."

𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒. ( 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘣𝘰𝘺 )Where stories live. Discover now