Mistakes We Can't Laugh About (Loser #2)

Chapter 44

TW: Sensitive content. Self-harm.

Chapter 44

Needless to say, I worked for the research team in the following days, devising the approaches that would be used and even talking about the design of the brain scan.

Nakita ko kung paano sila magtrabaho, at kung wala lang akong alam sa pamamalakad nila ay wala akong maiisip na mali. They were just a bunch of smart people who liked to read and argue among themselves about the discoveries.

Pagkatapos pa ng 35th anniversary ang pagsasagawa ng advance fMRI. Hindi naman kasi madali ang proseso. We would need to assess the device thoroughly to ensure it accurately identified the disorder. Hindi man ako kasama sa mismong pagbuo noon, patuloy pa rin nilang itinatanong ang opinyon ko lalo at ako ang principal author ng idea.

However, being on the research team was harder than I thought.

This was the work of a scientist . . . something that was too far from my expertise. Psychologist ako at counselor, hindi taga-gawa ng devices at medicines. Still, I knew I had to extend all my resources for my plan to work out.

"Isang proof na lang, Mari," saad ni Psyche. "A video clip, picture . . . kahit ano. Basta pagpapatunay na may mga ginamit silang pasyente para sa research. It's in the laboratory for sure."

Pinasadahan ko ng tingin ang mga nakolekta namin. The documents, the folder entitled "drops" from Percy's cabinet, and the video clips of Valeen and some researchers putting the patients back on the truck.

The past few days, ichineck namin kung ano ang estado ng ilan sa mga naunang pasyente, at gaya ni Mr. Bargola, halos lahat sila, kung hindi namatay, ay nakatakas sa mental hospital. Some of the cases even happened more than a decade ago, and we had no right to inquire about them because we were not the police nor family members.

Ang iba ay nakita lang namin online nang i-search namin ang pangalan ng mga pasyente. Ang ilan ay pinuntahan naman namin ni Psyche sa address na naka-indicate sa profile. Five out of the twelve houses we checked out were sadly abandoned, yet all of them had posters in the doorway advertising a missing relative — the patient themselves.

Ang ibang pinuntahan namin ay hindi namin tinanong tungkol sa kaso. We weighed things down, and we got so scared of being caught that we retreated. Baka kasi may contact ang mga ito sa kinauukulan . . . at mabuti na lang ay naisip agad 'yon ni Psyche dahil kung hindi, baka na-interview ko na sila.

"After pa ng anniversary sisimulan ang paggawa ng brain scan. Hindi agad ako makakaakyat sa lab," I told Psyche after a long silence. "If we successfully uncovered this, hindi lang sina Valeen at Percy ang makukulong. Their accomplices needed to be jailed, too."

Tumango si Psyche. "Hindi pa rin ako makahanap ng tyempo para ma-check ang dashboard camera ng sasakyan ni Percy. Kapag na-check ko, ipapadala ko agad ang footage sa 'yo," aniya. "We should make as many copies as we can."

I sighed and just nodded. I could feel it in my bones — my body was starting to get tired of the process, and I might need to take a break after all of this.

It was so hard to pretend I could handle the disgust I felt every time I saw my biological parents. It was so hard to take in all the information I didn't learn at school.

Kaya lang, sa ngayon, wala akong karapatang mapagod. Psyche was working hard, and Percy and Valeen needed to pay for their crimes. I was motivated by everything, but also overwhelmed by it.

"Matagal ko nang napapansin na hindi ka masaya kapag nakikita mo ang tatay mo, Mari . . ." saad ni Kat nang makausap ko siya via video call.

It had been so long since she called. Abala kasi siya sa trabaho at sa . . . manliligaw.