𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟

v. TALK TO YOU.

IN THE morning, Icarus woke up to Chris once again spooning him, but he doesn't really complain this time, rather just laid there in complete silence, staring at the wall. It's way too early, there wasn't even any light coming from outside. He was too... spooked from the night before, with the lights thing.

He repeatedly reassured himself that it was the electricity, that it acts up, just like Max and Chris said but he's too anxious. Worried. He's pretty much biting his nails and just staring at the wall with a blank stare. A million thoughts ran through his mind. It's back. It has to be. It always comes back. Even when you think it won't. And everytime it comes back, it comes back bigger, badder and stronger. He felt his breathing quicken with each thought.

"Icarus," a hand runs over his chest gently and he tensed. "Chris?" He murmured and the Mayfield pulls him closer. "Are you okay?" He whispers quietly. "Yeah... can you kiss me?" Icarus murmured and Chris complied, pulling him closer as the other turned to face him. Their lips meet in a sloppy kiss, a bit lazy and not at all rushed like the one's before. Almost like as if Chris was pouring his heart and soul into it, especially the gentle hand on Icarus' jaw, almost guiding him in the kiss.

Chris pulls away slowly, watching the way Icarus leaned in for more with a small smile. "You okay? Like, you know, after seeing Steve and his date? Not to mention, the lights thing? I noticed that it freaked you out a bit..." He says, frowning slightly and Icarus just glanced down between them as he plays with the hem of the muscle tee that Chris was wearing.

"Yeah, no, I'm okay..." He lied a bit too easily and waited if Chris was gonna fall for it or not. The Mayfield followed his actions, moving to lay onto his side to face him as his arm is still underneath his neck and his other free hand reached up to his chin. "You sure?" He whispered and Icarus glanced up. It felt weird. The sudden dynamic change.

Usually he was the one taking care of Steve and asking him these type of things. It was a bit odd for things to be the other way around. He wasn't opposed to it. It felt a little... nice. "I--I guess I've been feeling a little upset. At how easily Steve moved on... And a little uneasy after the light thing." He says quietly and Chris sighs, pulling him into his arms. Icarus says and does nothing. He just lets himself be held, closing his eyes. It really sucks that he just pictures Steve when he does. It makes him feel better. Yet shittier at the same time.

So when he opens his eyes, he doesn't bother to stop the tears, he just let it wet the front of his best friend/fuck buddy's shirt. Whatever he is. Icarus was unsure of his feelings anymore. One moment he wanted Steve back, because of how shitty he feels over the fact Steve is dating other people, then another, he wants to give into whatever he's feeling for Chris.

He's a little bit torn. Even more so when Chris strokes his hair lovingly, brushing back any stray hair that stuck upwards in his sleep. He relaxed in his touch and looked up to see Chris staring at him with a concerned gaze. And wide pupils. When the fuck did he sneak in the drugs this time? Icarus' brows furrow and he leaned up, pressing his lips to Chris'.

He kissed him longer, working their lips together before pulling away. "Chris?" He whispers and the other teen hums, opening his eyes to gaze into Icarus'. "What are you keeping from me?" He whispers and Chris sort of panicked on the inside but was pretty good at hiding it as he furrows his brows. "What do you mean?" He asked, tilting his head. "You... you're doing stuff." The Blood insisted.

"Doing what?" Chris' hand slides up his back and Icarus sighs, laying down. "You can tell me anything, you know?" He raised his hand to the side of Chris' neck but the Mayfield wouldn't budge, pretending to not know when rapid knocks came at the door. "Chris! Rus!" Came from the other side so Chris was quick to his feet, maybe to get away from the conversation as soon as deemed possible.

"Yeah, Maxy?" Chris says, panting a bit when he opened the door and the redhead scrunched up her face. "Were you guys--" "NO!" Both exclaimed a bit too loudly and she just rolls her eyes. "Whatever... uh, I need to talk to you both, can you both get decent and we talk in the kitchen or something?" She asked and Icarus nods quickly, getting up.

"Of course, Max." He says as he searches for some clothes already in Chris' dresser since he didn't bring any clothes at all for himself. "We'll be out in fifteen." Chris says and the girl nods before heading to her own room so that she can also get dressed. Icarus settled for a band tee and his jacket, along with a random pair of Chris' jeans. Chris just pulled on a random pull-on hoodie that had a Hawkins high logo on it along with a pair of old grey sweats. Something quick and sort of lazy since the Spring break has began and he didn't really need to "dress to impress" or whatever.

When the two are dressed, Icarus turns to face Chris. "I guess we can talk about it another time..." He says quietly and Chris nods. "Yeah." He says quickly and then glanced down towards the clothing pile under his bed. "I'm gonna be right back, okay?" Icarus tells him, leaning over to give him a quick peck on the lips before exiting the bedroom to go into the bathroom. And the moment the door shut, Chris was already down on the floor.

He opened the tin quickly and used the spoon necklace under his muscle tank to scoop some of the powder up and snort it quickly, holding his nose before sitting up. He lets out heavy pants and then closed the container quickly. "Just one... for today..." He tells himself but before he got up, he pocketed the tin into his sweatpants then left his bedroom.

 

 

 

 

  

  

  

  

  

  

authors note chris is so me lol

/j...

+ i almost forgot to update lmao