THALIA

19. Mirror

• THALIA •

I can not. Stop. Laughing.

I don't know why it was so funny, it was just the scream.

I'm sure my makeup is a mess right now but I don't even care.

The boy looks like he's trying to appear as unimpressed but he's doing a poor job at it.

I eventually sober myself up, but I still laugh randomly now and then.

I end up sneaking outside onto the front driveway with the boy.

He pulls a cigarette out of his pocket and then a lighter. The flame being the only light in the darkness.

"Hey, I remember you, y'know." He says, breathing out smoke.

I laugh, "likewise. Not your name though, sorry."

He laughs, "not surprised. There were a lot of names thrown in your face."

I roll my eyes even though he can't even see. "Yes, I mean, you and your brothers are carbon copies of each other."

I see his head slightly move, I think he's nodding. "Yeah, our personalities are all so different though."

I smile, "must be a nice family dynamic."

He laughs lightly, "yeah, it's nice. But it just doesn't feel complete. I don't know how to describe it. We're all boys. All men who supposedly aren't meant to cry. I mean my dads great, all the time he tells us we can cry. But we just don't. It's not in our nature. I guess, we're missing a woman. You know. Is that stupid?"

I take the cigarette off of him and put it between my lips, blowing out. "No. That's not stupid at all. Makes a lot more sense than you think actually. I feel like, ideally, you need a mother. It's the same with a Dad though. They both bring different things and qualities to the family. I don't mean the dad brings the toughness. Because Mums and woman are just as though. But it's just different. And it make sense. You're surrounded by just boys."

"Yeah. You get it. But it still sounds ungrateful."

I snort, "you can wish for more without being ungrateful."

"Can you?" He asks.

"Yes." I tell him whole heartedly.

"You're probably wondering what happened to her." He states, but I don't miss the shudder in his breath.

"A little, I guess. Bur don't tell me, you don't need to."

"Nah, I will." The smoke lights up his face for a brief second. "She was great. I didn't know her for that long though, to be honest. She was caring, loving, funny, just a bright personality. Always smiling and making others smile too. God, she was perfect. It's weird how I remember. She left when I was two. How the fuck do I remember?"

"Your brain remembers trauma. And even though her being a lovely woman wasn't exactly traumatic. What happened to her or what she did must have been. So the good memories make it hurt even more."

"Yeah. Makes sense. But, I don't know where she is right now. I wish I could say I don't give a single fuck like my brothers do-"

"You don't know that. They might feel the same."

"Yeah, guess I never really thought of that. But she ran away, with my sister. Twin."

I'm shocked. Surprised. I have only known him for about half an hour but my heart hurts for him. He seems lost. "Sorry." There isn't much to say. But I think he might feel better if I tell him something in return. "I knew my mum. She was great. Amazing. Exactly like how you described your mum. Jesus, I miss her. But she started sort of... going crazy. Ballistic. Seeing things, I don't know. She was never the same. Ended up leaving me on the side of the road and driving off into the sunset with her rich, preppy boyfriend." He probably doesn't miss the bitter tone to my voice.

"That's shit. Sorry..."

I laugh, "Thalia."

I can imagine him smiling right now too. "Gio, or Giovanni, but please don't call me that."

"Okay, Giovanni."

Next thing I know, he's stood up. Towering over me. I see a faint outline of a hand and I know he's holding it out for me. I take it and he helps me stand. "We better get back in there. Your uh-"

"Non-mum."

"-non-mum might be wondering where you are, I don't know."

I laugh, "she's probably thinking that I've already ran away. The police will probably be here in a sec."

"I'll be your getaway driver." Gio opens the unlocked front door and we hear chatter in the main living space grow louder as we near.

We walk through the doorway, side by side, to be met with curious faces.

"Nice of you to join us, bro." One of the boys says, taking a jab at his brother.

Gio just rolls his eyes. "Shut up, Matt."

"Where were you?" A screechy, winy, annoying voice asks. I turn to the culprit. Esmerelda hasn't failed to intrude, once again.

I put my hands up in surrender, "with Gio. Sue me."

She looks like she trying to collect herself so she doesn't slap me in front of everyone. I am gonna get a beating later, I'll tell you that much.

Thankfully, a woman in white enters the room. "Food will be ready in about five minutes, Mr Ford."

"Thankyou, Charlise." I'm guessing Mr Ford says.

The chef nods before walking back out of the room quicker than she came.

Everyone takes a seat and I sit down with Nadine on one side of me and Gio on the other. A boy sits opposite me. I think he's the one who talks a lot.
He smiles at me from across the table, "Matteo. I am the best person in this room, I think you have probably already established that."

I smile, "okay then. Thalia."

"I remember. It's hard to forget someone who looks like your reflection in the mirror."

The table goes quiet at that. Weird?

I laugh awkwardly, "yeah, true. I do kind of look like you. Or you look like me, I don't know."

He nods, "don't I fucking know it."