Mistakes We Can't Laugh About (Loser #2)

Chapter 47

Chapter 47

I buried my face against his chest, my shoulders shuddering from sobbing.

"S-Sabi mo, pagod ka na," nanghihinang bulong ko.

Naramdaman ko ang pag-iling niya. Humigpit ang yakap niya sa akin na para bang takot na takot siyang mawala ako. His heart was pounding hard, and I could feel his chest heaving with each breath.

"No'ng nakapagpahinga ako, ikaw pa rin ang hinahanap ko."

Nanikip ang dibdib ko sa narinig na pag-iingat sa tinig niya. He said it softly, as if he didn't want his words to break me.

"No'ng nakapagpahinga ako . . . ikaw pa rin ang mahal ko."

Muling umagos ang luha ko. This time, I knew it was because of happiness. Tuluyang tinangay ng hangin ang mga agam-agam ko. Ang kaba, ang hiya, ang takot, ang sakit. All of them vanished into thin air because of the assurance that he was still in love with me.

Ang dami kong gustong itanong, sabihin, ikwento . . . pero lahat 'yon, walang-wala sa kagustuhan kong manatili kaming malapit sa isa't isa. I wanted to feel his warmth, knowing how its comfort would soothe the shattered pieces of my heart. I wanted to feel a sense of his safety, knowing that he would be by my side no matter what.

"I-I'm sorry for everything." His voice cracked. "I'm so, so sorry for leaving you . . . for giving up on us . . . I'm sorry for not being with you when you're going through something. I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry, Amari . . . I'm sorry for always failing you. I'm sor—"

"Shh . . ." I cut him off.

Bahagya akong lumayo sa kanya para makita ko ang mukha niya. The tears were streaming down both of our faces, and I couldn't help but be grateful that no one else had ever seen this vulnerable side of him.

"Ang dami ko ring pagkukulang sa 'yo," I told him. "Ang dami kong nasabi at nagawang hindi tama." I cracked a faint smile, feeling the relief in my chest. "Sorry din . . ."

I reached for his face and wiped it gently. Malamlam ang mga mata niya, taliwas sa matalim na tingin niya kanina sa akin.

"We have to make up for the years we've lost, Zamora . . ." I said. "I have you locked up now."

Hindi ko alam kung gaano kami katagal na magkayakap. Aside from the times we cuddled in bed, it was the longest hug I'd ever gotten. The wounds that had turned into scars were kissed by the way he held me. The exhaustion I thought would never go away with rest was cradled by the way we found each other again.

Inalala ko lahat ng nangyari sa amin. Mula sa pagtatalo sa klase, sa hulihan ng tingin dahil magkatapat lang ang silya namin, sa pagiging magkapartner sa school activities at thesis, sa ligawan at tampuhan, sa mga simpleng date, sa pagtatapos nang sabay, sa pangangarap nang magkasama, hanggang sa matatalas na salitang nabitawan sa isa't isa.

Still, despite our flaws, the love we had for each other remained unwavering and soothing. Malayo na ang narating namin at marami na rin kaming nakilala. He could've been in a relationship with another girl and built a future with her . . . but he was here, not breaking his promise of waiting for me until the time was right.

"Magpapahatid ka pa?" tanong niya.

We were now facing the property he had just bought. He was behind me, and both of his arms were on my sides, trapping me in them.

I bit my lower lip to suppress a smile. I liked our position. I liked his question. I liked everything we had now.

Humilig ako sa dibdib niya at bahagyang humawak sa braso niya. My Zamora was working out for sure. He had tight muscles in all the right places. Pakiramdam ko tuloy ay ang liit-liit ko kapag kasama siya . . . kahit pa sakto lang naman ang tangkad ko para sa edad ko.