Unpredictable Match 2

Forty Eight

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Aj POV

There's a difference between planning to do something and then actually doing it.

I felt confident about my plan to break up with Zyier the whole drive here. I knew that this is something I wanted and needed to do. But the sick feeling I'm feeling now while actually standing on his doorstep is fucking my head up. Cus I know I have no choice but to do this. And I can't pretend like I ain't clearly make my choice already. And all that's left to do now is to be honest, but that's so hard. And wrong. Wrong as fuck. And selfish. I can't argue pretend like I ain't the one doing wrong here.

As I linger on Zyier's steps, I look behind me at Raheems car. He's been asking me the whole time if I was sure about this and whether or not I'm feeling pressured to break up with Zyier. I told him no, but the truth is that I do feel pressured obviously. Not by him really, but by myself. My feelings are getting too real and too intense obviously, and all that's in the back of my head is the fact that nothing about them feelings is innocent.

I look back at the door. I can stand here and contemplate all day, but it don't change the fact that when I was just looking back at Raheems car, I wanted nothing more than to just be in there with him. So, I take a deep breath in and knock at the door. I knocked type soft, giving myself a option to back out in case he ain't hear it and don't open the door. But, not even five seconds later, I hear him yell "who is it?"

I shift on my feet, "Me."

"Who the fuck is me?"

"Aj."

It goes silent for a second, then the door immediately swings open. Zyier is wearing basketball shorts, a white t shirt, and a smile.

"You came at the right time cus my siblings just went to bed," he laughs. I lick my lips anxiously and don't move a muscle. Fuck. I don't know if I can do this.

"Nigga come inside. My mother isn't here yet. She won't be back till like 5 in the morning," he says, stepping back, waiting for me to walk through the door. I was gonna stay out here the whole time, but to stall, I step inside.

Zyier closes the door behind us, then grabs my hand, "Finally have you to myself. Did your lil friend leave?" He asks.

I clear my throat, "Uh...nah."

"Weird ass nigga. I can't believe he kidnapped you," Zyier twists his expression, "What y'all even go do?"

I know the best thing for me to do right now is to just come out and say it. Be honest with what we was doing, and then tell him how I been feeling for the past few months. But standing here looking at him, knowing he's been the only one that been there for me regardless of how difficult I could be, I feel bad. I feel like I can't do it. Like, ain't this selfish of me? I'm the one in the wrong here. Zyier ain't cheat. He ain't pretend he had a friend who wasn't more then a friend. He ain't kiss a nigga twice on me. He ain't sit in the back of that same niggas car and tell him how different he makes him feel. He ain't lie, then pretend like he don't know what the fuck is going on. He ain't do none of that. That was me.

Even though I feel all those ways, I know I'll only be more wrong if I keep lying to him only to turn around and do the same thing.

"You okay? Look like you boutta throw up," Zyier raises his eyebrow, staring at me with concern and confusion. I nod stiffly. Come on nigga. Just say it.

"Aj. If he really tried to set you up or some shit let me know now cus—"

"Nah," I cut him off. Cus I know he'll start going on a rant about how he doesn't trust Raheem and that's not the route I'm tryna go down. "Nah...that's not—that didn't happen."