Bound Book 2

Chapter 9 - What Am I?

Skylar

Hot, hot, hot. My eyes flicker open, sweat and heat forcing me into wakefulness. My body feels stiff, and I stretch out, my smooth leg brushing against a much hairier one. Memories flash back to me, a feeling of exhilaration, followed by need and want. Images of biting and kissing cause my hand to reach for my lips. My hand. I lift it up, noticing the smooth skin on the back. No white fur.

Focus Skylar. Focus. Awareness seeps in at the position I am lying in, tucked into a loose grasp, the arms and scent unmistakable. Sparks, sparks, and more sparks, running up and down my body. Dmitri. At the back of my mind, I feel some sort of comfort in being this close to him and it feels familiar like we have been here before. Residual effects I suppose from before The Incident. We never spoke about it, but I assume we had lain like this on more than one occasion for my body to have some sort of muscle memory about it. And where are his clothes? Looking to the side, he appears to have some on, my hand brushing the fabric of his shirt. I look down noticing that both his pant legs are torn, and his bicep sleeves are in a similar state.

"Shit, I hope she doesn't freak out, just pretend you're sleeping. Fucking coward."

What the actual fuck. That was not me, but it was in my head. Not my thoughts, not my words, but in my mind as if a part of me.

"Pretend you're sleeping?" I repeat softly. "Tell me you said that out loud Dmitri because the alternative leans towards insanity?"

He moves to sit up, the warmth from his body, while overheating me, is still missed.

"You heard me?" He asks surprised. The surprised look turns thoughtful before understanding washes over his face, a smile being suppressed.

"We can hear each other's thoughts then." I fail to find the same amusement in his statement as he does, his suppressed smile vanishing as I glare back at him.

"I do not see how this is possible and how you are okay with this Dmitri," I say, pulling the quilt up so that it covers my legs. More as something to do than anything else.

"Well, since you can partially shift into a Lycan and you marked me, I suppose it solidified our bond further." His head shifts to the side as I peer at two small scars on his neck. Teeth marks. My teeth. Blood in my mouth. The urge to vomit is strong, but I push it back down, swallowing the rising bile. I vaguely remember...enjoying it, I think to myself, disgusted. The grimace on my face has Dmitri frowning.

"I'm sorry. The whole blood in my mouth thing is freaking me out. Also, I can't say that I'm exactly comfortable with either of us being in each other's heads. It's strange and there are some thoughts that are private. Are you always this casual with things? I mean hearing each other's thoughts and turning into a Lycan is pretty strange. The way you say it underplays it big time. You should treat it more like an adult telling a child Father Christmas isn't real. Some delicacy, you know what I mean."

I finish my tirade and instead of him being angry he laughs, the smile on his face really beautiful. There are little laugh lines at the side of his eyes which I wondered about on numerous occasions, how they existed, as I never saw him laugh. But now I can see why.

"You have told me before how insensitive I can be when relaying life-changing news, you just reminded me of that again," he says, the laugh fading to a smile as he looks at me. His eyes stare at me adoringly, making me slightly uncomfortable as I shift under the quilt.

"It doesn't make sense though, why don't the marks on your neck heal? Why does it leave a scar? I've heard you guys can sustain much worse and recover fully." I look at his neck, my hand itching to touch the two little scars.

"It's a mate mark thing. We are bound. It doesn't matter where you bite me it will leave a scar. You should see the state of Ivan. Rene has marked him all over. His back, his legs, he says he even has one on his ass cheek. She is into that sort of thing. It just doesn't heal like a normal wound. I suppose it's like asking how Lycans exist. It just is. Some things defy logic." He is serious, the smile fading as he seems to disappear into his thoughts.

"I never tried or wanted to mark Savannah Skylar. Everything I said to you that you have forgotten is as true then as it is now. You don't remember me or the times we had together, but for me, they torture and torment me, in both good and bad ways. We had wonderful moments and if you just try, we could create new ones. You can trust me. I never lied to you then and I won't lie to you now. And I'm certainly not going anywhere. If I was, I would have been long gone, but I belong nowhere else except beside you." He looks up at me, his gorgeous green eyes as mesmerizing as his words, the sincerity and hope he feels trickling through our bond.

I look away, not sure what to say. He heard what I had said to Ben yesterday. The slip of my inner emotions revealed how I really felt. The loneliness, the deception, how everyone seems to leave me or lie to me. All of this, making me wearier than I can explain in words. Changing me. And not in a positive way.

"Well, we need to figure something out with this mind-reading crap, I don't like it. Also, how is it possible that I can shift? And into a Lycan. I mean, that's insane." My brows furrow as I think of what happened yesterday. I'm only thankful it was fairly painless in that the pain was momentary instead of drawn out. I heard that when werewolves and Lycans change for the first time it is accompanied by pain and lots of it. The involuntary shiver that moves up my spine has me shaking my head in disbelief.

"Well, the mind-reading thing just takes practice. You can learn to open and close the connection like a tap. Similarly with our feelings. We will start training tomorrow if you want. While I like the idea of knowing what you are thinking and feeling, especially because you don't express it willingly, if it makes you uncomfortable, we can work on control so that you can decide how much you want to let me in. Know that I won't intrude on your thoughts unless it's an emergency. It is not even something I condone in the pack. Mind-linking and mind-reading are very intrusive. As an Alpha, I try and limit its use to emergencies or between myself and those higher in command." Dmitri's words surprise me.

I keep forgetting he is in charge of a large pack and that he wields so much power. The fact that he uses it responsibly impresses me somewhat. I had heard he is feared by many on the outside of these pack lands. Understandable as I too feared him just days ago as well. However, after the way he has been with me, I think that he is largely misunderstood. Or maybe he is just different with me?

"As for you being able to shift, it was more of a partial shift." He is running his hands through his hair, the action distracting as my eyes follow their path.

"It's strange, when I scent you now, you smell like every species except human. Ivan wasn't able to scent you before the curse was broken and now, he can and he agrees, the scent is mixed. We will chat with Raina and Ally when they come back. They must have been here already. No one else would leave tea," he says, pointing to the mug of tea on the table beside me. I pick it up and put it back down.

"It's cold. How long have we been asleep?" I ask more to myself than Dmitri as awareness of my body starts sinking in.

All the fatigue I have been feeling over the months seems to have melted off and my body feels relaxed and rejuvenated. The lingering feeling of having the best sleep of my life persists as I look up at the only reason that could possibly have this effect on me. Dmitri.

Please don't forget to comment and vote!

Visit https://www.patreon.com/greenwitchwrites (search for me in google as Adult rated accounts won't come up in the Patreon search in app) for early access to one or two chapters and other arbitrary posts.

Also, to anyone reading this who is having a bad day just remember that nothing is constant in this life and things change. Keep your chin up and keep fighting. You are so much stronger and braver than you give yourself credit for. <3