empathy

THREE

Goodbyes are nothing Anastasia is good at; quite frankly, she never needed to be good at them. Whenever people left, they didn't bother to say goodbye to her.

Her mother didn't get the chance to truly say goodbye and Agnes didn't leave more than a short letter. Anastasia wouldn't call it a goodbye. And killing her father isn't exactly a good way of bidding goodbye either now, is it?

So, saying goodbye to Antonina isn't something she actively considered, especially given the circumstances. She'll for sure end up hurting her either way.

At least that's what she thought as Jasper lead her back to the Cullen's residence. Edward has left already but the others are still there. Carlisle deemed it better to wait until Antonina left with Rosalie and Emmett, he didn't want to pull everyone she's grown to know and love away from her at once. He wanted to give her the possibility to truly say goodbye. Once, not multiple times. 

Stiffening the moment they enter the house, her whole body freezes as she stops breathing altogether, her hand tightening around Jasper's to the point it would have broken were he human. 

"Ana," Antonina jumps off one of the suitcases, running into her older sister's arms. "'re you coming with us?"

"No," Anastasia shakes her head, looking at Jasper in uncertainty before carefully crouching down, focusing her hearing on Jasper's faked breathing rather than the sound of her sister's heartbeat. Or the blood rushing through her veins. 

Closing her eyes for just a second, her hand comes to rest on Nina's cheek, her thumb running over the trace of her cheekbone. 

"You'll be going with Emmett and Rose," she smiles weakly. "You're coming," Antonina shakes her head. "Nina," Anastasia sighs.

"You're coming."

Glancing at Emmett, who is holding Rosalie in his arms, both seemingly pained by the tone of Antonina's voice, Anastasia looks back at her sister.

"We'll call each other, a lot. Every day, if you want but I can't come. It's like... it's like Peter and Wendy. They're taking you on an adventure in another world."

"But Michael and John went to Neverland as well."

Sighing, she pulls her sister in a hug, her face turned slightly upwards to not be pressed against her throat. 

"You'll be fine. You have Rose and Emmett and once you're back you can tell me everything you've seen. You'll have fun, I promise."

"I don't wanna leave."

Frowning at the tears hitting her shirt, she pulls away once more, her hands holding her sister's face. 

"You'll be fine. They love you. I love you."

Kissing Antonina's forehead, Anastasia turns back to Jasper, who holds her hair as she buries her head against his shoulder. Her eyes a deep black colour and her hand curled into a fist, Jasper's fingers sliding over her knuckles to intertwine with hers. 

"Ana!" Antonina cries as Rosalie goes to pick her up, holding her as she keeps on crying for her sister. 

Anastasia looks at her sister, her face twisted into a pained grimace before she hides her face back in Jasper's shoulder. Maybe she should've never come to say goodbye. 

Antonina deserves so much better than her. So much better than someone, who is anything but stable, someone, who killed her father, and someone who can't take care of her because all she can focus on is how her blood must taste like. 

"Let's go," Jasper whispers, his head turning slightly so he can kiss the top of hers. 

Turning to look at her sister for one last time, Anastasia can feel her own tears pool in her eyes. Tears that will never fall. Antonina is curled in Rosalie's arms, Emmett's hand resting on her back in comfort. Her body is shaking from the sobs and hiccups mixed into cries ringing in the air. 

Anastasia's legs can't seem to move on her own and Jasper has to pull her out, pull her away from this.

She's losing control. Anger, guilt, sadness and hunger are bubbling up inside of her, turning her into something dangerous. 

Swiftly picking her up once they're outside, he once again speeds them up the mountains, the view much clearer since there is no fog today. Yet, it doesn't matter, as the view is soon consumed by darkness.

Anastasia is once again falling to her knees, her own body shaking from her own silent sobs that are dimmed by the black mist engulfing her in a tight hug. 

A hug Jasper can barely see through, can barely feel through.

But he does, the tiniest bit. He can feel a small part of what she is feeling and he can offer the tiniest bit of comfort as he holds her hand. The one hand that is not fully covered in black, the mist shying away from him and dissolving into the air where her skin meets his.