Forbidden Fate

Chapter Ten

Harper

I watch him carefully take in my words; even though the room is dark, I can see how his hazel eyes widen at my words.

His whole body stiffens, "Matteo, I shouldn't have let it come out like that." I lean against my headrest as I close my eyes. I told myself I would never think about or speak about our baby again.

As horrible as that sounds, I couldn't bring myself to relive the trauma of losing her or him. I never got to find out the sex of the baby. Adriana would never tell me. I clench my eyes tighter together.

"Angel, talk to me; you're going down that dark path again, I can tell." My eyes open to see his beautiful eyes in front of me. Would our baby have had his eye? God, I would have hoped so.

"You know, before I tell you everything. I never lied to you. I was on the pill. I don't know how you got me pregnant because I never missed a day taking it." His large hands cup my face making my bottom lip tremble.

"I believe you. You don't need to explain that to me. Are you sure you're ready to tell me everything? You don't need to tell me now. I have all the time in the world. I am not going anywhere, I promise you." I search his eyes, trying to see if he's truthful, and all I see is the truth.

I know this little piece is the only thing keeping Matteo has mine, and soon as I tell him what happened to our baby, I'll be able to let him go. I think this is the closure I needed.

I give him a sad smile before shaking my head. "I didn't know I was pregnant; I didn't have any signs, no sickness or anything, but one morning I was in the kitchen, and everything was normal. I was making a coffee, and it was only me in the house when I had this horrible sharp pain. I had never felt anything like it before."

I'm imagining it like it was yesterday. I didn't get to hold my baby. I never got to see its beautiful little face.

"I fell to the floor. I don't know how I ended up there. I don't know how I even fell. I can just remember the pain being so bad that I couldn't stand on my own two feet, and then I felt wetness. It was blood, so much blood. I tried to make it to the phone to call for help, but I couldn't move, and then I had the urge to push, but something didn't feel right; something was wrong. I couldn't explain it, but I knew there and then that my body was going into shock." A sob tears out of me. It's raw and painful.

Matteo doesn't waste a second before he pulls me into his arms. "No, no more. Please, no more." His arms are tightly around mine. But I can't stop. I need to tell him. He needs to know everything. I need to tell him it all so I can move on. I need to get past this trauma for my own sake. Then I can let him and my dearest fucked up sister live happily ever after.

"I need to finish this, please. I need to tell you." I know it hurts for him to hear, but he nods. His beautiful hazel eyes are filled with sorrow. Sorrow for the little baby that never got to take a breath on this earth. He only doesn't know that part yet.

"Adriana found me, but the look on her face, she knew. I don't know how but she knew I was pregnant all along. I ended up giving birth on the kitchen floor. I was six months along, and from the amount of blood loss, I was in and out of consciousness. The cord was wrapped around the baby's neck. She left me there and didn't try and help the baby. I passed out, and by the time my father's doctor came, she said they were no point in helping it. It would have been brain-dead anyway and wouldn't have made it with it not being at a safe point. That were her words. I didn't even know if it was a girl or a boy. She took our baby away in a box and buried it in our family graveyard; that's the real reason I can't bring myself to leave here because when I leave, I'll be leaving behind our baby."

There I've said it all—the heartbreaking truth of my past. He doesn't say anything, and I'm scared he's going to walk away, but he doesn't. He does something I don't expect him to do. He kisses me.

It's a slow, soft kiss. The kiss feels salty. I place my hands on his face and feel his cheeks wet, he didn't go through the loss of our baby with me, but he's mourning the loss of his child now.

I know where this is going to lead, and I know we shouldn't do it. It's wrong on so many levels.

"

We shouldn't," I warn him knowing we can't go back on this. Sadness flashes in his eyes. We both want this badly, but it's going to cost us both so much trouble. Will it be worth it in the end?

"Fuck, Angel, I couldn’t stop if I tried. All I want is for us to be like we were in Rome before everything fell apart. Before I fucked it up. I want to lose myself in you. I’m so fucking tired of trying to forget you. I can't, Angel. I never forgot you. I searched for you."

He closes his mouth quickly like he shouldn't have told me that, but his eyes are begging me to believe him, and I do. If this is our only chance, then I'm going to take it.

I reach for his shirt and pull it off his body, giving him the heads up that I want this.

He doesn't waste a second before he's out of his trousers and briefs. He pulls my dressing gown from my body.

Oh god, am I really doing this? When, not even an hour ago, I had a freak out about it? No, this is different. This is goodbye.

"This means everything to me, Angel. This isn't just sex. You mean something to me. You have since the moment I met you."  My heart is beating so fast.

I nod my head and squeeze my shut. I feel him at my entrance, but he doesn't push into me. I wait for him to move forward. It feels like forever, and he still doesn't as he realised this is a mistake?

"Look at me," I can feel the pain in his voice as he begs me to look at him, I bite my lip as I feel every single emotion taking over my body. I shake my head, and he stills. I can't do this. This was meant to be me getting over him, not me Falling more in love.

"Angel, look at me. Please look at me." 

I freeze, trying to be brave, but I know I can't be. Not when he's seen me at my weakest, but I slowly open my eyes. Matteo leans down close to me, and with his lips touching mine, he kisses me ever so softly. My chest hurts as I finally whisper back, "This means the world to me. It means everything, Matteo."

That's all he needs before he pushes his cock inside me. My walls tighten instantly around him. I wrap my legs around him, wanting him closer, no, not wanting it's needing; I need him closer.

"You feel so good. So fucking good, Angel." He whispers into my ear. It's all I need before I milk his cock tightly, I bite onto his shoulder, trying to hide my moans. I feel him grow thicker inside of me before he cums with a grunt.

My eyes feel drowsy, and I know sleep will take over soon.

"This isn't the last of us, Angel; I promise you that. You're safe with me. I won't let anyone else hurt you."

I don't know if I Imagined Matteo saying that or if I dreamt it, but I'm far too tired to ask... All I know is this was goodbye.