83 | confession

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It has been a tiring day with the factory visit and the journey, but as soon as I arrive at my penthouse, my heart is filled with happiness

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It has been a tiring day with the factory visit and the journey, but as soon as I arrive at my penthouse, my heart is filled with happiness.

I glance at my wristwatch, knowing that I'm already late for dinner. The factory visit went longer than I expected. I told Nevaeh that I was going to be late, so I hope that she didn't wait for me to have dinner together. I don't want her to skip her meal because of me.

When I arrive at the dining room, I see Ian in the kitchen. I haven't said a word, but he doesn't need it to know what's on my mind.

"She was waiting for you," Ian says, making me sigh. "But you hadn't arrived, so she decided to spend time in the swimming pool while waiting for you to come home."

I nod and make my way to the swimming pool. My mind is filled with Nevaeh. Until now, it still feels unreal and too good to be true that she's here with me, that she's the one I can come home to every day.

I never felt so much happiness and fear at the same time.

Being with Nevaeh makes my mind -- and my heart -- go crazy. I keep wanting more of her. For the rest of my life, I want her to be the one I turn to when everything gets rough and the one I share with when something good happens. I want to be that kind of person too for her. I want her to be mine, and I want to be hers. I want us to be inseparable.

Being with Nevaeh makes me feel like nothing else matters. I'm no longer in darkness. She's the hope I've been looking for, but I don't know if I should hope in the first place.

I don't want to fall into the same mistake, but she makes me want to fall. Maybe I'm already falling, or maybe I'm already at the bottom.

I step into the swimming pool area, and as usual, the view is relaxing. It's a good place to chill and cure my tiredness while staring at the city lights after a busy day at work.

But right now, the view is even better.

I watch as Nevaeh swims toward the edge of the pool. A sense of calmness fills my insides in an instant, one that I can't find anywhere else. It's amazing that looking at one person can make me feel this whole.

It seems that Nevaeh is the center of my universe, but even that analogy isn't enough to explain all these feelings coming to me every time I look at her. She's everything good to me. My cure. My safe place. She's my heaven, and I'm so grateful to have heaven as my home.

Nevaeh climbs up the ladder to get out of the pool, and that's when I notice her wearing a white bikini.

I swallow. My pulse quickens. I always know that she's beautiful, but sometimes, the sight of her beauty is so torturing it hurts. It's not about her body, because if it only had been about that, I wouldn't have gotten out of my celibacy. Something about Nevaeh makes her look more beautiful than any other woman in my eyes.

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