(18+)
"We shouldn't, your son is my fiancé." I whispered sounding unsure and very hostile.
He watched me carefully with his dark blue eyes before tilting his head gently to the right, the same blue eyes that had just watched me undress a couple minu...
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I pulled my hair but in a slick bun with a few strands of hair hanging around my face, my dress was simple and short with a v-cut down the middle of my chest showing off my breast. I sat quietly on the bed watching my fiancé finish spraying himself with his favorite cologne, he reeked of alcohol.
His feet were sloppy from how drunk he was, our hands were locked together and somehow I was helping him into the car. I opened a water bottle and tried giving it to him but he pushed my hand away, his head fell to the side finally staring at me.
"You know when I was out of town for that hockey game, there were so many pretty girls." He said with a smile. "There was this one girl, she kept flirting and flirting."
"It felt really good to have someone's attention."
"It sounds like she liked you." I said, quietly.
"I took her back to my hotel room." He mumbled, his smile disappearing as his finger roamed his chin. "I wanted to cheat on you so badly, I came close to it."
"So why didn't you, Bodhi?"
"Can't you tell? I am in love with you despite everything." He said, his eyes staring at mine intensely. "For the life of me, I don't understand because you're sitting here telling me you love another man and all I could think about is how beautiful you are."
"You're the only person who really knows me, and I don't want to lose that." He said.
Silence, my silence.
I could see it all over his face, his eyes had tears in them as his voice cracked discreetly. He looked away before I could see any tears fall, I was thankful he did. I wish I loved him in that way, it would've been so much easier.
"You slapped me." I whispered, very quietly. "You knew of the abuse and you allowed it, and you still expected me to love you."
"That was a mistake, I wasn't raised like that."
"A mistake? You allowed me to accept that abuse." I said, my voice cracking slightly. "Knowing of my past, knowing who my father was."
"I felt terrible about it but that doesn't give you the right to fuck my dad." He said. "You did it to spite me."
"Yes, maybe I did it to spite you in the beginning." He looked back at me, it felt like a huge brick being lifted from my chest. "But I fell in love with him, there's nothing you could do to ever change that."
"Is that what you wanted to hear? That I fell in love with your dad."
"Just shut up." He spits out, angrily.
"No, my whole life I've hidden in the shadows because of men and their stupid fists." I shouted, very loudly.
"You betrayed me, Talitha."
I nodded my head with my lips tucked together. "The truth is, I'm not sorry because I'll never, ever sympathize with an abuser." I said.
He looked hurt for a split second, you could see the flare in his eyes. "Classmate, best friend, lover, boyfriend, fiancé, and now abuser." He said.
"You weren't my lover, I was forced to give you my body." I said, quietly.
"What?" His eyes roamed my face with confusion, as his jaw clenched.
"It wasn't my choice to sleep with you that night, you were my best friend."
I could hear his breathing change, it got deeper and more airless. "You kissed me." He said.
"Because I had to, my dad didn't give me a choice." A tear trickled down my cheek, my fingers immediately swiped it away hiding the evidence of my pain.
The first night we shared was all part of my dad's game plan, he knew it was a perfect opportunity. Rumors were going around about Bodhi and his breakup, my dad told me that the best way to comfort someone is with your body and I believed him. That night everything changed, my best friend was on top of me thinking that's what I wanted when it was the complete opposite of that.
That was my first time with anyone and I had to act as if I enjoyed it, it wasn't his fault because he had no idea.
"You never wanted me." He whispered, his voice shaky.
"No, I never did."
His eyebrows raised just a little, his lips tightened together. "God, you should've said no."
"I didn't know I could." I responded.
"I would've never forced you, never, Talitha." He said.
"I know that now."
"You should've stopped me." He said. "Maybe we could've made it worked."
His hand slightly cupped his mouth, his chest moving up and down rapidly. He looked disturbed and disgusted with himself, he looked around the car with his hand digging into the side of his seat. He remained silent with torturing thoughts no doubt, his shoulders were tense along with his neck. My head shakes, there was nothing he could ever do to make me love him in that way.
He leaned back against his seat, his eyes finally looking out the window. "You were never going to truly love me."
"No, never." I said.
I didn't say anything else, the car had stopped moving and our driver was standing outside my door. The door opened revealing the crisp air, and the dark sky filled with plenty of stars.
"You deserved better but so did I." I whispered under my breath, hoping he still heard.
I stepped out of the car with my heart on my sleeve, I tried putting my best smile on but it wasn't working.
"Just give me a second." He cleared his throat, you could hear the pain behind his voice as he covered it up. "I'll meet you in there."
I closed the door without acknowledging him, he was still going to make me go through with this even after learning the truth of our relationship, for years I've suffered and he wants me to suffer even more.
It makes me sick, I could never share a life with someone like this.
I walked inside the restaurant with my hand pressed against my flat stomach, I felt like all eyes fell on me. I walked to the side of the restaurant where our hall was, everyone was standing around with wine between their fingers.
