Back To Brookes // back to barnes bk2

2: fight me

      Before I could go any further, he blocked my arms and rolled over on top of me. I bucked him off, sending him onto the floor and knocking the wind out of him. He coughed as I jumped up and dug my heel under his ribs.

He grabbed my ankle and twisted, knocking me to the floor and he put a knee to my clavicle. I struggled, the blinding fury all-consuming. He started yelling at me, but every word was muffled.

All I felt was burning tension in my limbs and heat in my chest as every muscle clenched, prepared to fight.

Fight.

Don't give in.

My eyes shut tight as I reveled in the liberating ire filling every vein, coursing throughout my body with a pulse. I looked up at Bucky with determination in my eyes. "You don't touch me!"

I twisted my arms to grab his wrists, twisting both and flipping him backwards. He hissed as I kicked his gut, but he launched himself upwards, prepared to fight.

His yelling started again. Every word was blocked out. I must destroy him. He cannot win.

I kicked his jaw and he stumbled back, his yelling ceasing. He put his forearm to my neck and grabbed the back of my head, and I used the opportunity to jump onto his shoulders, grabbing his head and knocking him backwards. His head and my knees rammed into the wall and we fell to the floor again.

He seemed dizzy and waning, but he grabbed my shoulders, spun me so my back was to his chest, and clutched me to him as tight as he could. I writhed and screamed but I was nothing compared to his metal arm. He used his flesh hand to cover my mouth as he backed into the wall, giving himself support as his grip on me tightened.

When he spoke this time, I could hear him. "Maisie, stop it!"

I convulsed in the anger I couldn't release, my legs clenched and every muscle throbbing.

"Maisie, you need to listen to me!" I could hear him, but nothing was clicking. "I'm going to explain if-" He pulled me to the ground, wrapping his legs around me torso to keep it from moving. "-if you'll just listen to me!"

Through his hand I yelled my disapproval, so he tightened his clasp around my mouth.

"We're in Illinois, okay? I don't know where exactly but we are." He was lacking air and was forcing his voice to sound strong. "Damon worked for Hydra and took you back to Gehenna in my place because of your horrible decision-making. Steve and I followed after you, and I went in posing as a Hydra agent that had recently went MIA. They began experimenting on you. They combined all these different drugs and sent me and another agent to inject you with them. Every day I watched you weaken as they subjected you to these horrible things in hopes of molding you into this Hydra-hailing human shell." He took a few seconds to breathe. I adjusted in his grip. "They didn't work. Thank God . . . I guess. Instead you started becoming stronger. You began fighting back and winning. Whenever they tried to force you into submission, your eyes turned purple and you became this murderous banshee. I was ordered to kill you. Me specifically. Instead of administering the lethal injection, I gave you Tetrdotoxin B so you'd only register dead. I carried your seemingly lifeless body to a Hydra jet in hopes of getting us out. One agent saw me, but I killed him before he alerted the base."

I went silent. It made sense. I remembered it all. Every horrid second. I started thinking. I started processing things. My heart rate slowed. I could see straight. I finally relaxed.

"Now we're here." He continued. "I wanted to bring you to anywhere else, but you weren't ready. For these past seven months you've been almost completely unconscious. When you'd wake, you'd be this killing machine, hellbent on taking me out. If I were to take you back, you'd be killed. I need you safe, Maisie. I can't lose you again. You're all I have."

Bucky noticed me shifting, moving his hand from my mouth to the back of my neck, where he gently pushed what must have been a pressure point and I melted to his touch, closing my eyes and trying to regain my breath.

"We need to go back to SHIELD and let them help you." He said softly.

I shook my head, focusing on my breathing. "I was taken at ransom. They won't accept us. They'll experiment on me and find a way to kill you or kill me and never let you leave the cell or imprison us both. We can't do that."

"Maisie, you need help."

I stayed silent. I did need help. I didn't know how to fix or even control what happened when I was triggered and I could've hurt Bucky. I could've hurt myself. I couldn't leave the house or I'd risk changing and not being able to control my actions.

I exhaled.

"No. I'm not going back and neither are you."

He went quiet.

"I can't let you do that to yourself." He whispered hoarsely.

I weakly turned and glared at him. "Then it's a good thing you don't get to decide on this one, isn't it?"

His jaw tightened as he gave a look of defeat. "Then we'll have to figure it out ourselves. One super soldier to another."