14 | a bit too much of everything

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CAM WAS SLEEPING NEXT TO ME IN THE MORNING

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CAM WAS SLEEPING NEXT TO ME IN THE MORNING.

Since the beginning of this one-room journey, one of us always snuck out early before the other woke up, but it was 9 AM, and we were still in bed. I slowly pushed the duvet off me and dangled my legs down the bed. I stretched and twisted my body to my left, then halted when my eyes tugged at Cameron's sleeping figure.

At that moment, my inner voice said something I'd feared for so long.

You're getting attached.

I inhaled a breath. Maybe it wasn't attachment, it was a habit. If you do the same thing regularly, you make a habit. Cameron was starting to be a habit. Seeing him every day. Waking up and going to sleep in the same room. These things didn't necessarily have to be emotional.

What about you staring at his lips all the time? The inner voice snapped. Is it also a habit?

I stormed up from the bed angrily, wanting to punch that stupid, annoying inner voice. I didn't stare at his lips all the time—only sometimes. I huffed, running a hand through my hair.

"I'm not attached," I whispered. "I'm not."

I jumped with Cam's morning voice. "You're not what?"

When I swirled around, his eyelids were half open with a lazy smile on his face. "You scared me," I said. "I'm not...going to swim today."

Cam shot up his eyebrows as his lips took an 'oh' shape—I'm not looking at his fucking lips.

Oh, God.

"I think I should—" Then, I stopped mid-sentence, realizing I didn't have to report to him what I was about to do. I grabbed fresh clothes and headed straight to the bathroom in a haste.

"Morning to you, too, Amberoni," Cam yelled after me with a laugh. He mumbled something under his breath next, but I didn't catch it because of my high pulse.

After tucking myself safely inside, I leaned against the door and slapped my forehead several times. What was wrong with me?

I didn't get attached to Marcus like this after three years. I was always proud to be independent, keep my personal space, and maintain a healthy relationship. It turned out our relationship was far from healthy, but I always managed to tick off the first two like two pillars of a relationship in my book.

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