A Storm Is Brewing

Like It Just Being Us

"Instead of fostering?" Leah balanced herself on her elbow.
"I haven't worked that out yet; I don't want to turn my back on those kids, but maybe we could do both." I said softly.
"If this is about me with Liv, I wasn't trying to change your mind, Soph. You know that, don't you?"

Fuck. She doesn't sound like she wants to.

"Yeah, I know. We can talk about it another day anyway."
"Yeah... Sure." Leah placed her head back on the pillows.

We lay there silently for a few moments, our hands still interlocked but our minds racing separately.

"Soph?"
"Yeah?"
"I kind of like it just being us."
"That's okay; I only really said it because I thought you wanted it anyway." I smiled.
"Okay, good."

— — — —

Leah and I didn't speak of children again, which made me wonder if forever commitment was really something she wanted; maybe she just fell into it with me and didn't know how to get out of it. Christmas had been spent with my family, so New Year's Eve was spent with Leah's. We arrived at Amanda's just after 6 p.m., both dressed casually for the evening that lay ahead, with no idea what it would bring. Amanda greeted us as usual with a hug and joked about us abandoning her for Christmas.

Singing, laughing, and dancing our way to 10 p.m., we were possibly the happiest we had been—well, I was. Leah had disappeared outside with Holly, leaving me to mingle with the rest of her family, patiently awaiting her return. As we sat around the table, watching on as the New Year's Eve special played on the screen in front of us, I was deep in conversation with Jacob about his football achievements of the year when Holly and Leah came back through the patio doors. Leah had been crying, and Holly was attentively rubbing her back as they made their way to the bathroom.

"What's up with her?" Jacob asked.
"I have no idea. She was fine before she went outside. I'll go get her." I said, standing up.
"Just leave her, Sophie." Amanda smiled.
"But she's upset?"
"Whatever it is, let Holly talk some sense into her."

Right, so obviously Amanda knows what's wrong too; am I the only one oblivious?

I couldn't help but feel a little rejected, Leah was my fiancé, and I should've been the one who knew what was wrong with her, so why didn't I? I tried to keep a false smile on my face, aware that I was surrounded by everyone that meant the most to Leah, but it was proving impossible. My phone vibrating in my pocket zapped me out of my overthinking as I reached for it and saw it was Rhys. Excusing myself from the table, I made my way outside and sat on a chair to answer FaceTime.

"Hey Sophie." Rhys smiled.
"Hey, all okay?"
"All good. Just calling to wish you a happy new year." He turned the phone to put my parents in the picture.
"Happy New Year, you lot." I smiled.
"Talk to you next year." Rhys joked, and I simply rolled my eyes and cut the call.

Not even a minute after I had set the phone down, it bleeped again. I sighed as I lifted it to read the notification.

Rhys
What's wrong?

Sophie
Why would something be wrong?

Rhys
I can tell by your face. What's wrong, Sophie?

Sophie
I don't know. Leah's crying, and I have no idea why. Amanda told me to leave her with Holly, I just feel lonely, even though everyone is here.

Rhys
You two have some serious communication issues, you really need to sort those out, Sophie. She'll talk when she's ready, but you both need to communicate better, or you won't make it.

Sophie
You're right. Thanks Rhys.

Rhys
Call if you need me.

I exhaled deeply, knowing that Rhys was correct in his statement. Leah and I were perfect until there was something we needed to communicate about. It wasn't her or me; we both just struggled with that part of our relationship, and I wasn't sure it should be this hard if two people were truly meant to be together. Before I could head back inside, I heard the patio door slide open, and my eyes met Holly's sympathetic ones. Oh fuck.