Review - With Your Love

With Your Love by heyitshusna 

"Valerie?" Niall's voice flooded through my ears. I raise my head to meet his beautiful blue eyes, and find them looking back cursorily. He had his hands in his lap, and he fidgeted with his fingers. 

"Yeah?" I ask him wondering what was wrong. 

"Promise, no matter who gets in, we'll be best friends until the end? I don't want to lose touch with you if I don't make it in" Naill asks looking around the car avoiding eye contact.

"Are you crazy Niall?! Of course we'll stay best friends, and don't doubt your voice! You are going to get in, honest" I say as we sit in the car and drive off to audition for the X factor.

Niall justs stares out the window and never replies. Niall and I have been best friends since we were only in class two. We decided to audition for the X factor together and see what happens.

*

One headache was all it took.

All it took to ruin my career, and loose my best friend.

I found out I had a brain tumor and I had to leave the X factor

I made it so far, but it didn't matter, it was over, I couldn't go on my brain tumor took my career, friends, everything away from me.

I decided not to tell Niall about the brain tumor because I knew that he would leave the competition and come home with me back to Mullingar. I didn't want that for him, I wanted him to carry on with his life, and peruse his dream of singing.

When I got back home, and the surgery was a success, I never thought that I would ever see my best friend again. What are the chances? Niall moved on, got famous, and was currently in the worlds biggest boyband!

Little did I know that Fate is its own person, it does whatever the hell it wants

So one day, I did bump into my best friend.

But what happens when you start to fall in love with your best friend without evening realizing it?

Let me tell you, all hell breaks loose...

Alright, so, this story is pretty good. Great plot, characters, setting. But it is very cliche. I mean come on, we all know the best friend story when they fall in love and get all mushy. Totally been there, done that kind of thing. Although, I will say she did spice it up a little by throwing in a brain tumor, and adding the auditioning together part. In my opinion, I do like a story that has a little bit of a twist. Again, that's my opinion as I don't like to read the same story plot over and over again. 

She has great spelling. Just a little slip of the fingers on the keyboard, perhaps.

Her grammar is good, just a few mistakes here and there. 

Neat paragraphs, along with paraphrasing.

I would recommend that she gets an editor with how many reads her story gets. I mean, making sure that everything is perfect. But not too perfect, as perfect gets a little boring. 

Did that make sense?

Spelling: 8.5/10

Grammar: 5/10

Spacing: 6/10

Unique: 5/10

Overall: 7.5/10

**Any Hate Will Be Deleted**

So how's your day been?

Sorry it was a little short but I am tired and tomorrow's friday...

~PML (this review has been edited, courtesy of me)