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I was laying in my grandma's bed watching A Dairy of a mad back woman, I was laying on my grandma's thigh and thinking.
"I'm going to the bathroom" I said and my grandma nodded her head and moved her leg and I got up.
I went in the bathroom and turned the light on. I looked in the mirror seeing my eyes were really red , baggy , and swollen.
I turned my face to the side seeing a few pimples and my hair was very messy in a bun.
I felt my heart racing and I felt myself beginning to have an anxiety attack. I sat on the toilet and tried to catch my breath.
I broke down in tears and stared at my white toes which were peeling.
I've been very depressed , I haven't been going outside or talking to anyone. I haven't touched my phone in almost a week. It's like I just want to hide from the outside.
All I do is lay around , eat , and sleep. I take very long showers and baths now.
All day I just think about Ty and what Sean said at Kobe's birthday dinner. I don't want to believe it but at the same time I know it's true.
Ty is the first boy who I actually fell in love with and not only that I gave my body too. Maybe we just moved too fast or I got attached to quickly...
Maybe this is my fault .
"You okay Kay?" My grandma asked.
"Y-Yes I'm F-Fine.." I responded.
I got up and looked in the mirror lifting up my hoodie and looked at my stomach. My stomach is starting to get big and my butt and thighs are too.
I've been stress eating a lot , I feel like there's no other way to get my mind off what I've been thinking about so I just eat.
I stepped on the scale and looked down seeing it was 190.
"Damn.." I said under my breath.
I walked out the bathroom and went back in my grandma's room and laid down on her leg and she rubbed my hair.
"Grandma do you think I'm getting fat?" I asked her and I felt her stop rubbing my hair.
"No sweetie , do you think you're getting fat?" She asked me.
"Yes , all I do is stress eat. I eat even when I'm not hungry it's like if I'm not talking to you then I just run to get food." I said.
"I hate when you leave the house cause I feel so lonely." I said.
"I know pookie , but you know I'm always here for you even at your lowest and your highest. You're going to move past this you're just love sick and that's normal." She said.
