Violent Silence • Rick Grimes ✓

-73-

the loss

SCARLETT WAS USED TO LOSS. She was used to people growing closer and closer until they disappeared without any warning or trace. That's what happened again and again, and Michonne wanted to keep hope alive. Scarlett understood that. How could that be when the world keeps taking their lives and tugging and pulling until they were stretched so thin... there was nothing left.

She sat on the ground, leaning on a car as Rosita took what was left of the water and poured some in Judith's mouth. Scarlett was grateful for it, but she was angry. Angry at the world, and everyone could tell.

Maggie dealt with grief by being sad. Accepting it as it was. Sasha dealt with grief with anger. Not accepting it.

Scarlett related more to Sasha in that case.

"Drink," Rick told her, shoving a bottle in her hand. Looking up, she noticed everyone staring at the water enviously. She thought the last of it had gone to Judith.

"Give it to Carl," she told him, eyes going to the treeline where she waited for Maggie, Sasha, and Daryl to come back. Rick shoved it again. "I said, give it to Carl!"

Rick's nostrils flared. He shook his head. "You need it. Don't shut down. You can't."

"Take it," Abraham grumbled. "Now before I shove it down your throat, Firecracker."

Scarlett snatched it from Rick's hands, gulping the rest with angry eyes at the ground. She was irritated that they were out. She was irritated with the world.

"Hey," Rick whispered. "Come here."

She noticed his hand extended to help her get up. She took it, wobbling a bit on her feet. Scarlett's angry gaze fell as Rick leaned down, kissing her stomach once. Her eyes softened a bit. He led her over to the other side of the cars, away from prying eyes and ears.

"Talk to me," he begged.

"We need to keep going. Washington won't move to us," she whispered back, ready to keep walking.

"That woman... She didn't mean to kill her, Scarlett. It was just a stupid accident."

"What about Tyreese? Was that an accident, too? What about Otis? Shane? Patricia? Jimmy? Lori? T-Dog? Axel and Oscar? Merle? Zach? Uncle Hershel? Bob?" her eyes were leaking tears now, and Rick's heart broke when he watched her try to drink them for a moment. "So many more," she whispered. "When will we catch a break, Rick? I'm tired."

"I know," Rick whispered, pulling her close.

Scarlett wore a tank top that rode up her stomach a bit and shorts with her combat boots. The heat was making it harder on all of them, but she still hugged Rick back. She cried in his chest.

"She was supposed to live, Rick," she cried.

Rick comforted her for a little while before Abraham yelled that the others were back. She sniffled, wiping her eyes as she looked for Daryl first. He nodded at her, assuring that he was okay.

"How much longer we got?" Rick asked as they approached the vehicles. Scarlett went up to Daryl, leaning her head on his shoulder. He brought his hand up to hold her to him. "She's nearing six... seven months? Getting harder to keep moving."

"Almost there," Rosita said. "60-ish miles, I'd say."

"Let's roll out."

Scarlett was ready to give up when the engine broke down on the car they were using. Without it, the others would not be much use. They could not all fit.

I miss my truck. Such a large bed. Could'a fit all of us.

Scarlett wiped her eyes as the hormones got the best of her. She decided to buck up. She remembered who she was. Scarlett Fucking Grimes. She was not going to let this stop her. She wanted to give up, but she couldn't. Not yet.

Scarlett was at the back of the group walking, closest to the walkers as they straggled on behind them. Her feet were swollen. Her stomach grumbled in a fierce hunger. Her throat was dry.

She kept walking.

A week passed. They found a small source of water, but it was through a filter system Rosita made. It was slow. It did not last too long as they moved on.

Daryl found a raccoon one day. It was nice for the time being, but it somehow only made her hungrier.

Three more weeks passed. Scarlett felt like this was dying. This was exactly how they were going to die.

They found hardly any supplies. They found no vehicles. No hope.

Scarlett watched Rick slow down his pace from the front. He held Judith as he found his step with Scarlett. The groans of the walkers were loud.

"Tell me when you need a break," Rick told her.

"He's on my bladder," she grumbled. "Yet I don't know what I'm gonna pee out."

Rick snorted, loving his fiancée's humor and sarcasm in these times. Judith whimpered in his arms.

"That herd is gonna grow," she nodded back. "Can we take 'em?"

"We're not at our strongest," he agreed. "We'll get 'em when it's best. High ground, something like that. They're not going anywhere."

Daryl found his way next to Scarlett, grabbing her hand and placing something in it. She noticed it was a few berries. She looked at him questionably.

"Gave some to Carl already, Momma Bear. Here," Daryl grunted, putting a few in Rick's hand for Judith.

"It's been months since Atlanta. I know you lost something back there," Rick told them both as he gave Judith some of the berries. She cried a bit when they were done.

Scarlett frowned at the baby. "She's hungry," Daryl said. "Need to do more."

"She's okay," Rick promised, trying to ease his conscience. "She's going to be okay."

Daryl sighed. "We need to find water, food," he commented. "Scarlett's gonna end up passing out soon without it. That baby is sucking everything out of her."

"Thanks," she said back snarkily.

Rick nodded. "We'll hit something in the road. It's gonna rain sooner or later."

Daryl nodded, though he looked unconvinced. "I'm gonna head out. See what I can find."

"Hey, don't be too long," Rick told him.

"I'll go with you," Scarlett offered.

"I got it," he grunted back.

"You gonna stop me?" she asked, daring either of the men to do it. "Need to get out of the sun anyways. Tree cover."

Daryl grumbled something incoherent as he started walking. Scarlett followed after kissing both Rick and Judith once. The others eyed Scarlett warily as she went out into the unknown, but they could not stop her.

Breathing heavily, Scarlett just kept trekking on. It was all she could do.