Snow •♡• Hyunlix

Decisions and The Past

☆▪☆Felix's Pov☆▪︎☆ (TW:mentions of suicide)

Yang Cheul was my best friend and a trainee back when I actually wanted to become an idol but my brother knew this much. "Felix, what the fuck are you talking about?" Minho whines.

"Yang Cheul, he was the trainee I got close with back when I was a trainee. He was a sunshine type of person. The type that would definitely be a good idol. We were best friends, everything was going great until he started getting more and more negative. He started to cause himself harm and distanced himself away from me. The death threats just kept on stacking up more and more. Eventually he took his life and I found him on the floor."

I pause for a minute before the tears begin to prickle in my eyes. Hyunjin gets up quickly as he pulls me to my chest as I nuzzle into him.
I begin to hold him tight as Hyunjin kisses my forehead quickly. His hand rubs my back gently.

I pull away from his touch as he sits down. Hyunjin pulls me on my lap resting his chin on my shoulder lightly. Minho sighs, shaking his head.

"I know you have trauma of what happened and all but that's the past. We have the freedom, if we want to stop doing the singing and dancing, then we go back to what we did at the first competition. It's a chance to explore the world some" Minho says, watching me carefully.

"So what are you saying? That we pretty much have the perks of an idol but not the pay of one? Because the crazy fans are the same." I tell Minho as he tilts his head back in frustration

"Felix, you should have read the contract. It says we have freedom to do what we want, however we must tour once every two years while under the company." Minho explained to me. This scares me because what if they force Jisung and Minho apart or Hyunjin and I?

"So why did you bother even asking? You know hyung,sometimes I wish things were easier but with you guys by my side, I can do anything" I lean across the table to grab my glass of tea to drink.

Hyunjin places his hands on my hips instead of on my waist like he was. I scoot back a bit laying on him gently as I play with his fingers once I drank my tea.

"Look I'm not going to beat around the bush, we are not becoming idols, we shall continue to sing and dance but not our demos. We have the potential but at the same time, it would be filling up most of our day. It's just like we would sleep in the practice room if that was the case. "

"I guess I am on board" I said before giving a small sigh as I just remembered everything that happened when I was a trainee. I'm getting that chance that Yang Cheul never got to experience. If only I got in the dorm soon enough to stop him that night. I still miss him, he was my best friend and I still need him.

             ¤☆Hyunjin Pov☆¤

I didn't know the true reason why he didn't want to become an idol but I will do all I can to make sure that he doesn't feel that way. He shouldn't feel bad for what happened.

None of it was his fault, if only I knew what the little sunshine was carrying on his shoulders. I won't ever bring this up to him again but all that built up emotions isn't good for anyone.

Minho sighs as he lays out the plans that the company has for us for this year. We get one of these every year. Looks like the tour is going to be happening most of the year except for a small break of a week after the tour is over which is not really anything if you only give them a day off per stage.

But even that isn't a day off because it is spent practicing and traveling anyways. I see worry and anxiety fill Felix's eyes as he scans the paper. "They are working us like dogs Minho,I didn't think that you would let this by" Felix says as obviously right now he is being emotional.

"Let it by? Do you think I'm the fucking CEO of the company? No, but our dad's friend is, but even he wouldn't budge on this. We were lucky that he even gave us this week. But guess what, our wages went up."

"Who gives a fuck about the money Minho? For all I care, they can blow smoke up their ass." I squeeze Felix's thigh quickly trying to get him to calm down but he continues to speak "You out of all pe-" I clasp my hand over his mouth before he says something that is going to ruin their relationship.

"Calm down Yongbokie, let's just get the set list together for the tour and then afterwards let's just see how we feel. Think about it being an opportunity to see new places." I whisper in his ear as I feel his body slowly untense.

"Do you have voodoo magic or something? Because I have never seen Yongbok actually calm down that quick or even get that mad other than one other time but at that point, they pretty much gave in to him" Minho says as he flips the paper over before getting up and grabbing a pen off of the kitchen counter.

"Well that time,a similar situation related to that boy but different circumstances." Felix replies back. So was this not the same company as we are in now?

"So when you were becoming an idol, did you try under the same label as where we are now?" I ask him even though I feel guilty for even asking him that at this point and time.

He sighs as he turns around straddling me "Baby, this is a different company but the same CEO, my father fired him. I was under my father's label." But why didn't he have the grudge against Felix if he knew the reason why he got fired? And why did Felix choose this company knowing that all?

"So then how come you didn't stay with them?" I ask him before Minho draws the cut sign against his throat as in telling me not to.

"Because with my father the way he is, pressing me to go harder and harder against my limits,plus with that situation, no way in hell would I be under a burning company basically.

"What happened?" The one last question that almost didn't escape my mouth. The one question that I wish that I didn't ask.

"They told us trainees that he was a coward and there wouldn't be a funeral or anything like that. Even if there was, we wouldn't get time off. The board didn't cave into me all the way but they gave the ones who needed it therapy and a few extra days off. But not the funeral. That's when I drew the line, said fuck you, and walked out. I paid them out of my money to have a funeral. To let him have the peace he deserves"