Chapter One: Desire

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                                                                                       DEDICATION

                                                                                         To Dagny,

                                                                                for never giving up

                                                                                          on trying

                                                                                          to tame

                                                                                     the monster

                                                                                       inside me!


Georgia was soaking wet. The rain glided off her head and down her face, making her eyes burn slightly on the way down. Her shoes splashed loudly as she ran to the pavement and onto Morris Street, dipping in and out of large puddles along the way. By the time she reached the other side, even her knees were drenched. Her feet felt damp and wrinkled, her trainers doing a poor job of keeping water out. Her socks were soggy and disgusting as they splotched with every step now. She pulled her hoodie tighter over her head, lamenting the thought of how her hair was going to frizz up. Her backpack bounced behind her, weighed down more by the rain.

She hoped the waterproof material would hold up and dreaded the thought of what her books might look like if it didn't. The wind was beginning to howl and it sent the rain swishing in different directions. The chill was bad today. This time of year in Milwaukee usually spelled the end of the cold season but despite it being the last week of March, winter still stubbornly clung on. It was the third time in the last two weeks she'd missed the bus. Being one of the only seniors at Beldon High without a car was at the forefront of her mind.

Beldon was a public school so it wasn't like the other kids were all wealthy or something, but still, she felt the mediocrity of being an electrician and a caterer's daughter all the same. How could she not? Especially when popular students like Susan Green had parents with cool jobs. Her dad was an architect. Emily Bale's mom was a food blogger. The wind began whipping at Georgia's face now as she pushed against the rain, trudging her way towards Warbler Road.

Oh, for goodness sake!

Georgia's mind lashed out as she was pushed left and right by the wind. Her parents said she was "petite. It was just a kind way of saying "tiny". Barely scraping five foot two, all one hundred and thirty eight pounds of her was miniscule in comparison to most of her classmates. Right now, that meant even the wind got to bully her. She kept her head down as she tried to walk a straight line. She could only imagine how silly she looked trying to fight her way down the street with the wind routinely tossing her off course.

This must be what it feels like to take a sobriety test when you're tanked.

She smiled to herself at the thought. Somehow it made her feel better. She could always laugh at herself. She needed that thick skin now to avoid feeling like the eyes of the world were on her as she wobbled her way down the street like a baby antelope learning to walk for the first time. The stores on this end of town were all closed and starting to mist up. The sky overhead was a dreary gray and looked even darker on the horizon. Thankfully the weather meant the sidewalk wasn't its bustling self today. There were still plenty of cars passing, but even at a glance, Georgia noticed the familiar sight of people lost in their own little morning routines.

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