secret - j.o

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secret - j.o

tw: mentions of cancer

-

"Dinner's almost done, love." Jenna shouted to you from the kitchen. You propped yourself up from the couch and went to the kitchen. You placed your hands gently on Jenna's waist from behind, pulling her into a gentle embrace and gently kissing her cheek, making her smile wide.

"It smells amazing." You grinned, Jenna turned to face you and leaned in, leaving a soft kiss against your lips. Her vanilla lipgloss coated your lips, leaving a sweet taste over them. She placed a hand on your chest, smiling lovingly at you.

"I'm just gonna use the bathroom, okay?" You pecked her lips once more.

"Hurry back." She squeezed your hand before letting you go.

You closed the bathroom door behind you, flicked on the light, and noticed the medicine cabinet left open, and an unfamiliar pill vial on the sink. You grabbed the bottle and went to put it back in the cabinet, but something told you to read it.

"Jenna Marie Ortega - DOB 9/27/2002

Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide)

Take one tablet by mouth once daily for the treatment of ovarian cancer."  the bottle read.

Your heart fell harshly to your stomach, almost making you throw up on the spot. You twisted the bottle to see if it were an old prescription, but to your surprise, it was picked up last week.

Your phone was shaking in your hands as you typed "Cytoxan" into Google search, hoping that the label could possibly be wrong.

"Cytoxan is used to treat various types of cancer. It is a drug that works by slowing or stopping cell growth. Cyclophosphamide also works by decreasing your immune system's response to various diseases."

A small gasp escaped your lips, you put your hand over your mouth to prevent any further noise from escaping. You put your phone down and gripped the medication tightly in your hand. Your vision blurred from the tears that welled in your eyes.

Thoughts began to rush through your head. How long was Jenna taking this medication? How long did she know she had cancer? You tried to think of any interactions that would have told you earlier.

flashback

"I love you so much." Jenna held your face in her hands, her thumb grazing over your cheek.

"I love you more." You left a gentle kiss on her nose.

"Oh, how I'm going to miss this." She said as her eyes turned glossy but still kept a smile.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, nothing. Just when you leave for work, I'll miss you..." she trailed while fluttering her eyes, drying the tears.

end flashback

"Dammit!" You cried while slamming your hand against the counter, you sunk down the side of the cabinet and curled into a ball, stuffing your face in your knees.

Three small knocks echoed at the door. "Y/n? Are you okay baby?" Jenna's voice was soft but filled with concern.

"I.. I'm fine, I just don't feel good." You said in response, wiping your wet face with your sleeves.

"Let me in?" She suggested, she took her hand and jingled the door knob.

"No!" You shouted, breaking the floodgates to your emotions. Cries filled the room as you curled more into yourself.

Within seconds, Jenna picked the lock and whipped open the door.

"Y/n! What's going on?" She sat herself next to you, trying to pull you into her embrace but you pulled back.

"I can't, Jenna! How long?!" Your voice cracked as it rose.

"What? Babe, how long what? Talk to me, love..." she rubbed her hand soothingly over your shoulder trying to comfort you.

You picked your face up, Jenna's eyes widened when she saw your blotchy, flushed face soaked with tears.

"What-.." she started but was cut off by you placing the pill bottle firmly in her hands.

"Care to explain?" Your eyes watched hers. She looked at the bottle and frowned, realizing she couldn't hide her secret.

"I wanted to tell you..." She spoke hesitantly. "I-I didn't want you to see me any different. Or treat me differently. Or act like I'm fragile.. and-" she let out a soft cry. "Y/n, I'm sorry. I really am." By this point, Jenna had tears streaming down her face.

Your heart was broken thinking how Jenna had to go to these doctor's appointments by herself, probably as scared as you are if not more. You zoned out staring at the bathroom floor as these thoughts roped around your mind.

"Y/n." Jenna's voice echoed. She gripped your shoulder and shook you lightly "Y/n." You snapped out of your daze and looked at her, her dark brown eyes rimmed with tears, the corners of her lips pulled into a frown. "Did you hear what I said?"

"How could you do this to me, Jenna? Keep this from me to find out like this? And if something happened to you I wouldn't have even known..." You inched away from her, wiping your eyes.

"That was the point, y/n! I wanted to protect you." Her voice grew shaky.

"Protect me?! How on earth was that protecting me, Jenna?" You were frustrated, having trouble understanding why your girlfriend would hide one of the biggest diagnoses anyone could possibly receive. You examined her facial features, taking notice of how sick Jenna actually looked. Her eyes were were slightly sunken in, pale complexion, and her figure looked even skinnier than before.

"Because you wouldn't worry about me." Her voice broke, and she looked down at her lap. "I'm sorry!" She let out gut-wrenching sobs that tugged at your heartstrings.

Your glare softened and you wrapped your arms around her, pulling her small body into your lap. You held the back of her head in the nape of your neck, crying with her. After a few minutes, her cries came quieter.

"I will always worry about you, mon cher." You pressed your lips to the top of her head, her hair smelling sweet of her coconut shampoo. "I'll be by your side throughout all of this, okay? We are going to overcome this together."

She nodded, her lips quivering. You brushed your fingers through her hair, pulling her forehead to yours.

-

8 months later

You stood by your girlfriend as she grabbed the rope to the bell. You put your hand on her back, locking eyes with hers. She smiled wide up at you and your face matched hers.

"Ring the fuck out of that bell." You beamed.

Jenna nodded and grabbed the rope to the bell and swung it back and forth, sending echoing rings through the hospital. Cheers from doctors, nurses, and yourself were heard throughout the hospital. She won her battle with cancer.

You scooped Jenna off the ground, her legs wrapping around your waist. "You did it, darling." You planted a passionate kiss on her lips, smiling wide against them. You couldn't be more proud of your strong girl.

a/n: i'm sorry for such a sad imagine ah i cried writing this!

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