A Storm Is Brewing

The Argument

It wasn't meant to end like this; today was supposed to be a day of happiness, relaxation, and a lot of cuddles. It did end like this, though, and it was completely my fault. I couldn't say that now, though, could I? If I say that now, it goes against everything I've ever told myself: be a fixer, Sophie. Not the one that needs fixing.

Flashback:

Just three days after returning from our trip away, I woke up feeling somewhat under the weather. I couldn't put my finger on what was wrong; I didn't have a temperature, I didn't have a cold, I didn't have a stomach bug—I just didn't feel like myself. The firm was playing on my mind more than I cared to admit; I worried every time the close of business report came through at 6.17 p.m. instead of 5.30 p.m.—what happened that it was 47 minutes late? The issue was that I had promised Leah that we would spend her recovery time together. I promised her that I didn't mind being away from work, but as much as I enjoyed being carefree, I struggled to let go. I wasn't bored or fed up with just Leah and me; I just simply didn't know how to keep my own mental health above water while trying to do the same for Leah, all the while not having something different to focus on for eight hours of my day, Monday through Friday. Leah had mentioned it a few times, but I was quick to shut her down, denying that any of that was the problem. I told her that I simply didn't care how they were getting along because they should know how to look after themselves.

That day was different, though; that day, my face said everything my voice didn't. I woke to find Leah was already up, going downstairs slowly to try to preserve the little bit of energy that I had left. My head hurt, not in a pounding headache kind of way, but more of a stress headache. Maybe it was a sign of the day that was to come. I could hear the faint chatter of voices on the TV coming from the living room, gazing through the doorway to see Leah lay down, arms wrapped tightly around her stomach.

"You in pain?" I asked as I walked towards her.
"A little. You slept late - I was just going to check on you." She attempted to sit up, wincing as she did so.
"Don't get up - what do you need?"
"I'm just going to get some water."
"Leah. I said don't get up. I'll get it." I sighed, a common occurrence that she chuckled away.

I returned with water for Leah, placing my two painkillers into my mouth and swallowing them down with my own drink.

"What was that?"
"Painkillers."
"What's wrong, Soph?" Leah asked softly.
"Just a headache; I probably slept too long. Don't worry, I'm all good." I definitely didn't feel all good, though.
"Did you see the picture Liv put in the group?" She chuckled.

I took my phone out, clicking on the group chat that Liv, Leah, Rhys, and I had, chuckling as I saw the message.

Liv
Dad said I don't need to bring my ear muffs

Rhys
Because you don't! It's summer!

Liv
I like them

Rhys
You're not bringing ear muffs, Liv.

Leah
Ear muffs are pretty cool

Rhys
Don't encourage her, please, Leah

Liv
She said yes

Rhys
She said they're cool, that wasn't a yes!

Liv
Auntie Leah?

Leah
...

Rhys
Think carefully, Leah

Leah
Y...

Liv
Please, please, please

Leah
Everyone needs ear muffs - bring them!