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chapter song - about you by 1975
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It's weird how I used to be in love with silence. The small, quiet sounds I could finally hear because everything else had just shut off. No one was talking, no one was interrupting. No sounds of engines revving, people yelling, crying. Those moments of silence when I would finally get away from everyone...I wanted to stay like that forever.
The silence I get when I wake up with an empty space beside me on the bed doesn't give me that same feeling.
Instead it's deafening. I turn to see the wrinkled sheets where Franny once was and something gouges its way into my chest so sharply I have to hold back a wince. It's not a surprise that she isn't here. I have to go back to America, and she probably doesn't want to wait around for something that can't happen.
I consider the idea that maybe I've gotten her out of my system now. A high school love that has finally floated away from me. But when I turn my head and press my cheek into the pillow as the sun beams right into my eye from between the curtains, I smell her perfume.
What feels like a million memories of last night flash into my mind and my fingers slowly curl into the palm of my hand, because there's nothing to hold onto, no one to hold close. She isn't here.
She's gone because you're going to leave for your life in America, and she's going to continue her life here. And you're going to fall away from each other all over again.
Except this time I'm not sure how well I'm going to recover.
I slowly pack my bag. Taking my time, pretending for a moment what it would be like if I lived here permanently. If I didn't have to leave. Instead of packing my bags to leave, I was just getting ready for Fran to come back. To come home.
I'm probably asking too much to ever think I'll be her home.
My phone goes off and I can already feel the dread slamming into me when I see my manager's name across the screen. The PR team have finally had a break since I stopped acting like an idiot and went to Canada for a bit, but I can already feel that rest is going to end soon.
"Will," I answer.
"You packed?" he asks.
I sigh. "Yeah, I'm basically ready to go."
"Okay, good," Will says. "Look, I'm sorry we had to cut your vacation a little short. But...I don't want to tell you over the phone, son."
I frown, sitting down on the couch. "What do you mean? What's wrong?"
"I have to tell you it in person. When you get in, drop your stuff off and meet us down at the firm. Your lawyers and theirs will be there to explain everything."
