Chapter Thirty-Three - Lou

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I'm relaxing. It's weird.

The science building didn't recover quite as quickly as they'd hoped, which meant more cancelled lab days. So, no placement and no classes.

They emailed over some tests to make sure people weren't going completely off the rails. I'd finished them already.

"You seem... different."

I try not to let my eyes bug out of my head when I nearly drop the glass of orange juice as Ella corners me in our kitchen.

"I do?"

"Have you used a new skincare?" She gets up close, her nose almost touching mine has her eyes pinball over my face and hairline. She could give the FBI a run for their money in the art of interrogation.

"No?" I didn't mean for it to sound like a question. She crosses her arms and leans back on her heel.

"Your face is like, glowing." She puts emphasis on the 'glowing' part.

"Thank you."

"Your hair looks shiny."

"I washed it."

I guess you could say I'd been pretty cagey after my night with Carter.

It was... incredible. Even still that seemed too small a word for it. Mind blowing. Life altering. Christ, if he ever knew I thought this, his ego would outgrow Donald Trump's.

But shit. Shit, shit, shit. It was true. It was amazing. And I wanted to do it again. So of course, with my self-diagnosed verbal diarrhoea, I'd said as much to him a couple of days ago, before clambering out of his car, desperate not to take anything back. I didn't even recognise myself.

I'd meant what I'd said about wanting to keep things casual, I wasn't going to inconvenience myself with feelings. So, prying roommates weren't ideal.

"Are you wearing perfume?"

"Are you high?" I counter, taking a sip of my juice, mouth suddenly dry. She smirks knowingly.

"I guess I'm not quite buying the 'nothing happened with Carter' act. You still look freshly fucked."

"My god." I cough and splutter as she leans back against the counter, laughing as she finally gives me some breathing space.

"If pushing you is what it takes, then I'll push. It's been days. I want to know everything." I sigh and wipe the dribble of juice off my chin. "Is it big?"

"He has a jeep, they're a great size." I sidle past her out of the kitchen, her grabby hands stop me from darting away.

"I clearly wasn't talking about his car, aren't you supposed to be the genius in this friendship group?" Her smile is playful but there's a spark of annoyance in me that I can't quell. I was tired of feeling like some sort of charity case friend, some kind of side project that she was working on to try and 'fix'. 

"I thought I was the hermit?" The smile drops off her face.

"I'm so sorry about that." In the blink of an eye the playful teasing look I was so used to on Ella's face becomes a wobbling lower lip and tear-filled eyes. I put my juice down and open my mouth to apologise for my temper, but she stops me.

"I've been so selfish." Ella grabs my hand; my mouth is still agape as she continues. "I said that out of selfish anger because I missed my best friend. I'm not trying to make excuses; you were grieving, are grieving, and I didn't know what to do. I thought I'd lost you." She takes a quivering breath. "I'm so sorry about ditching you at that party, I'm sorry for the Spanish inquisition, I know I'm too much sometimes."

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