If I Stay✔️

83| I've got you, brother

L E O

My eyes began to flutter. I was in that weird stage of not fully awake, but not quite asleep. I balled my hands into fists, rubbing my eyes to try and gain a sense of where I was, wincing as the fluorescent lights above blinded me. I could feel the mattress underneath me and the uncomfortable way it sank and sagged beneath my weight; the scratchy, cheap sheets creasing around the burns on my bare legs.

When my sleep hazed eyes adjusted to my surroundings, it took a few moments for me to realise I was in a hospital room, the events of the last day finally catching up with my mind.

I'd stayed in Oliver's room most of yesterday with the rest of our friends, keeping him company until his family arrived and he felt comfortable enough to be alone with them. We didn't want to leave him, but with Charlie's annoying persistence, and Oliver's reassurance, we agreed just as Sebastian burst into the room and pulled Oliver into his arms.

Seeing Sebastian's worried face, hearing the soft words he spoke, I knew Oliver would be in good hands, for a while at least.

A headache was forming behind my eyes as Oliver's face came to mind, a persistent need came over me; it had been hours since I'd seen him, I had to check on him, I had to make sure he was okay.

Groaning, I gritted my teeth and tried my hardest to ignore the searing pain in my thigh as I pulled myself into a sitting position. It was almost unbearable, but I'd felt worse. I knew I'd survive without the morphine everyone seemed so desperate for me to take.

Part of me was desperate to take it, too. But I wouldn't — I couldn't. I didn't want to be that kid again, the one who chased his first high just to feel something again.

I wouldn't give in, not when I've came this far.

"Sleeping beauty has awoken!" Carter's cheery voice filled the once pleasant silence. My head shot in his direction, my eyes squinting at him, trying to work out what the fuck he was doing in my room.

Then, it hit me.

Dad got us a joint room. Yay me. I needed to remember to thank him for that, I'm sure being graced with Carter's wonderful presence will do wonders for my recovery. I loved my brother more than anything, but he was too loud, too happy — too much for my fucked up mind to handle.

"Where's Dad?" I asked, voice rough.

I couldn't hide the pain I felt, no matter how much I wanted to. It showed in my voice and my face and my body movements as I attempted to roll myself off the bed. I didn't care how much it hurt, or how stupid I was being; trying to roll off a four foot bed when I could barely hold my own weight. I needed to check on Oliver. And Felix. And Rowan. And Arlo. And Pres.

I needed to know they were all okay.

"Wow, calm down, sonic." Carter was at my bedside in an instant, his hands on my shoulders as he forced me back to the centre of the bed. "You're gonna hurt yourself."

"Car, let me go." I huffed through clenched teeth, trying to shove him off. "I need to check on my friends."

"Listen, Z left me in charge, 'kay? I'm big bro, you're baby bro. So, I'm the boss." Carter rambled, eyes lit with amusement as he
marvelled in his new found power. "Now, lay down, take a deeeeeeep breathe and relax."