[GL] I tamed the female lead

Chapter 17- Astéria's POV

Poehina trusted Orange wholeheartedly. She still didn't confide in her in hard times but she said I was the only one she needed. I got so shocked by that that I thought I was dead. Poehina just laughed and ran away but she had no idea how long those few words played through my head after that morning. I couldn't focus on anything and started hallucinating seeing Poehina say those words everywhere. I thought I was going crazy but I soon had to put all of this aside when I noticed the way people were behaving around Poehina. She didn't tell me about her bullying of course. Neither Orange nor Astéria. She would never confide in people and even less if she really needed help. I wanted her to let me do everything for her but I couldn't force her. We would get there.

I trusted Poehina and I knew she would manage without help but I didn't want her to have to. I knew she would make her bullies cry and I knew she would destroy them if needed but I really wanted her to let every difficult task to me. If I could I would have killed every single person in our class but I couldn't forget about her terrified look when I killed the two maids in front of her eyes. I had to find another way. I couldn't kill them. In my past life I did everything with schemes and lies but it was way harder to control myself when it concerned her. I had to be patient but every time someone whispered about her I had to use all my strength to hold back from pulling their tongues out.

I thought I would lose it when I saw the letter. It wasn't enough that they were bullying Poehina, now they were using me to hurt her as well. Fortunately Poehina didn't read the letter. The latter was full of disgusting sentences about the pseudo Astéria who wanted to touch Poehina everywhere. I knew that the person who wrote the letter was Iris immediately. She was the one who hated Poehina protecting me so much and I hated that she imagined such sentences. I needed to erase those images from her mind. I needed to erase everything from her mind. I wanted Iris to become an empty vase and live the rest of her life that way. I knew how to do it but I had to calm down. Poehina was really smart and she would immediately know it was me if something were to happen to Iris.

I went to her house and did my best to calm down on the way. I couldn't kill her. I couldn't kill her. I couldn't torture her. I couldn't torture her. She had to be in one piece. Once in front of her window I knew what to do and easily infiltrated her dreams. I turned the latters into horrible nightmares filled with all the horrors I wanted to do to her. Iris couldn't sleep more than an hour per night after that and I was satisfied. I didn't hurt her. She was just having nightmares. That was the weight of her guilt torturing her every night. That was enough to stop Iris from bullying Poehina anymore and I was glad because that meant Poehina wouldn't notice the dark circles under Iris' eyes if she stayed away. Of course I started doing the same for everyone else who dares so much as glare at Poehina.

This wasn't enough of course but I felt better after doing something. Poehina heard about the little speech I made of course and she confronted me about it. I didn't know why she seemed so puzzled that Astéria would help her. She didn't want to accept that I had no ulterior motives which I predicted. I didn't know how Poehina knew that I didn't send her that letter. The letter said how much I wanted her and she said she knew Astéria would never send her such a letter. I would never send her such a badly written one but if only I had the courage, I would have sent her that letter years ago.

Poehina didn't believe in Astéria's good intentions at all and I had to do something about this. Therefore I started really sending her letters saying that I couldn't stop feeling about the false letter and didn't want her to stay on that bad image of me. I started writing to her about how bad I felt and how much I wanted to fix things before telling her about my day. I wrote thousands of letters before finally settling on this one and I regretted it as soon as I sent it. Nothing seemed good enough for her but because of all the stress I had no idea what to write about anymore. I told her about my day because I had no other idea but thought I would die of embarrassment thinking back to it.