Chapter 37: Don't Save Me

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Reader Discretion Advised: Self Harm is mentioned and talked about in this chapter. Please do not read if this is triggering. There will be a authors note at the bottom of this chapter explaining it. I want you all to stay well and healthy.

They fall asleep in the forest, well Esmyrie does, Lo'ak can't seem to.

His heart is still beating rapidly in his chest.

She sees him.

Him, the trouble maker child. The rebel. The outcast. The boy alone in the world.

She sees him.

It doesn't seem real, it seems too good to be true. But here he is, laying with her on the forest floor, his arms wrapped around her protectively, kissing her forehead every time she shifts her body in sleep.

After the confession his only response was to kiss her, and kiss her, and kiss her some more.

He doesn't know how long they kissed but it felt like his life was complete.

Her hands running up and down his body, even getting a little handsy with him, always making his body crave her more when she would pull away.

He would try and kiss at her neck or pull her closer, but it always just resulted in his hands being above his head. Anytime he would whine and complain about not touching her she would just reply with 'Im taking care of you. Showing you I see you.' Which to him made her more attractive and want to touch her that much more.

It was a losing battle for Lo'ak though, because anytime she would kiss at his neck or have her hands on his waist he listened, stopping his whines and accepting the kisses and state he is in.

They whispered soft words to each other as they continued pecking kisses, laying down with her arm covering his chest, her hand right above his heart.

She fell asleep, listening to him talk about his day with Payakan, trying to help the dark memories of the Spirit Tree to leave her.

It seems to work and he sighs in relief, holding her protectively, letting his eyes close to bathe in the sound of her breathing, letting sleep finally wrap him up when he accepts the truth that he is seen.

He is loved.

He isn't a failure, not to her.

She can't escape Eywa now. Esmyrie doesn't know if she should want to escape Eywa or not, but she is getting real tired of seeing the bright light every time she closes her eyes.

She was just resting with Lo'ak, feeling the grass beneath her, his arms wrapped around her, and now here she is, the bright light once more.

She doesn't want to see the destruction anymore but she knows she will more than likely have to see it. She knows it is selfish of her, she should take Eywa's warnings as a gift, but she doesn't know how much longer she can see her brother dead before it absolutely gets to her.

She knows the routine by now, it's happened two times already.

Soon the forest will arrive and she will be stuck watching a grown Lo'ak with his kids. She finds peace in knowing he survives the war, but she always feels unwelcomed when Eywa shows her Esmyrie's lover at an older age.

She is right with the schedule, because there Lo'ak is.

He's the same age as all the other visions, but he looks tired, exhausted even.

He is laying on a mat, half of the bed made, as if it hasn't been touched in months. And there is a baby laying on his chest, pulling at his braids.

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