Chaotic Good | the umbrella academy

FIVE

CHAPTER FIVE
' I'LL RUB SICK IN YOUR HAIR. '

The car journey was silent, aside from the radio's gentle melody with Eddie's quiet humming. She reclined across the whole back seat, eyes following the patterns of the sun on the car roof. Five and Klaus sat in the front, with the latter driving.

"This actually isn't so terrible," Five spoke up.

Klaus gave him a grin before moving his eyes back to the road. "See? Told you."

Five shifted and reclined into his seat. "Come to think of it, my whole life I've been under the gun. Missions for Dad, working for the Commission, trying to survive the apocalypse. I was always looking around every corner, just waiting for the other shoe to drop." He let out a long breath. "It's nice to just breathe."

"Yeah!" Eddie cheered, pumping her fist in the hair in a languid motion. "Go, Five! We're proud of you!" Her voice was quiet, fatigue sagging heavily under it.

"Good for you, man," Klaus agreed. "Retirement is suiting you."

Five jumped in his seat as he remembered, pulling a map from the floor. "Oh! Uh... All right! So, I've circled all the roadside attractions along the way."

Klaus let out a small hiss, preparing for a small piece of bad news. "I'm not sure we're gonna have time-"

"-We have the Brownsville Big Nickel. Oh, Ricky's Bakery has award-winning pies."

"-If you just let me explain..."

"-Or there's this Cow Henge.

"Cow Henge?" Eddie repeated, eyes filling with interest.

"Listen to me!" Klaus raised his voice momentarily.

Eddie flinched at the volume, grabbed hold of Five's seat and pulled herself to sit in the middle seat. Her eyes squinted, and she blocked the sun with her hand.

"Just shut up for two seconds, okay?" he continued. "Just two seconds? All right?

"Okay, I'm all ears," Five replied, layering with Eddie's voice as she hummed with an agreement.

"We are going to Pennsylvania to find... my birth mother. Yay!"

The duo was silent for a moment.

"Excuse me?"

"-I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. I just needed emotional support."

"Oh," Five scoffed. "emotional support, like a Schnauzer?"

Klaus shook his head. "I knew you wouldn't come if I told you, so what was I supposed to do?

"You're goddamn right I wouldn't have come, Klaus. You know why? Because I am supposed to be retired!"

"-I know! This was supposed to be a carefree road trip."

"I don't know why you've made such a big deal," Eddie spoke up, causing their bickering to cease. "We can still have a road trip but visit Klaus' mom along the way. Isn't that technically an attraction?"

"Ball of Twine?" Five looked at the sign. "Klaus, turn! Ball of Twine! Turn!"

"What?"

Five leaned over and grabbed the steering wheel, hauling it to the side and turning the car down the road.

"Five! Five!" Klaus protested, and Eddie grabbed his seat to steady herself.

"It is one of the best ones! Come on!"

"Five, we're gonna die!"

"Whoo! I don't care!" The boys wrestled with the wheel, and Eddie bounced limply with the motion, her eyes squeezing shut.

"Let go!"

"You know what? No twine, no birth mother!"

"I think I'm gonna be sick!" Eddie managed out. She managed to hold her vomit in until they parked outside the Ball of Twine.

And that was where Eddie threw up her guts beside a tree while Klaus and Five surveyed the attraction. She gasped and wiped her mouth on her sleeve before she stumbled to their side. "Give me your glasses." She didn't give Five a chance to protest before she pulled his sunglasses off his face and put them over her eyes.

"Hey-"

"Shut up, or I'll rub sick in your hair."

Klaus sighed. "Yeah, you know, I don't know why, but I thought it'd be a lot bigger."

Eddie and Five looked back at the Ball of Twine.

"Seems pretty big to me," he answered.

Eddie squinted. "-Ehh."

Five turned to Klaus. "Here's the real question. How do you know your birth mother is in Pennsylvania?"

She let out a hum, turning to face him too. "That's a good question, Five. I would like to know the answer too."

"Well," Klaus sighed. "Because I was on the ass end of a two-week bender, and I can't tell you the exact date because we were boofing Xanax and the whole business, but Amy Winehouse was at the top of the charts."

"Who's Amy Winehouse?"

Klaus ignored her question. "So that puts us somewhere, where? In the mid to late aughts? I helped myself into Dad's office, looking for the key to his safe 'cause he had Pogo lock up all the stealables. But instead, I found a treasure trove of our family history, told in expired check stubs-" Klaus shuddered. "Rachel Herschberger? I was too messed up to, uh, do anything about it, too scared to look her up. But always in the back of my mind, I wondered why she sold me off for three grand. I mean, come on, she couldn't have held out for five? Six?"

"Wait, he bought us?" Eddie asked, a frown pulling on her features.

Klaus let out a hum of agreement.

Five shifted. "You see anything about our mothers?"

"No. Sorry."

"I always forget I have an actual mother out there. Like, we've only ever really had dad and a robot for parental figures." A small smile formed on her face as she looked back at the Ball of Twine. "I used to think about her when I was little. What she would look like, sound like, talk like. Sometimes I think I miss it, but I don't think I can truly miss what I never experienced, you know?"

"I think you can," Klaus replied.

"Why now?" Five suddenly spoke up.

"Well, duh," he answered. "Dad disowns us. Grace isn't Grace. Ben's... gone. Now just felt like a good a time as any to find out who I could've been if I didn't grow up in this stupid family."

Five scoffed softly. "Well, can you really call what we had a family?"

"No," Klaus agreed. "It's more like a-

"-Institute for Snarky Delinquents."

The three shared a laugh.

"And not a good one at that," Eddie added.

Klaus turned to face them fully. "But what is family? What is it? It's like some kind of giant... ball of twine that can never be untangled."

"A giant ball of obligation I've been pushing uphill my entire life," Five added before he and Klaus began to talk over each other, and Eddie zoned out, eyes falling to the Ball of Twine.

"Hey, I'm glad you guys came along," Klaus' voice broke her trance, and she looked back at him. "You're good siblings."

"All right," Five waved his hand. "You say nice things about me now."

"Klaus always says nice things about me."

"Let's go find your stupid mother."