Hero // 5SOS

Chapter 26

A/N:

listening to 18 by one direction might set the mood in for this chapter and to the whole book omfg im sad

this book is supposed to give hope to those with cancer, as well as any loved ones with cancer. I never said this, but I'm dedicating this to everyone and anyone who has lost someone special to them or who feels like they are.

I love you guys

.

- BritishBums xox

___________________________________

- Diana -

As soon as we got back home, I layed in bed and almost instantly fell asleep.

I was unbelievably tired, my body just felt tired collectively and I wish I hadn't. It was late but I wanted to do so many things.

Forcing myself to get back up, I rubbed at my eyes and sighed. I had been asleep for too long, seeing the sun was no longer up.

Quietly heading down the stairs, I find Ashton just sprawled on the couch a guitar on top of him as he played different chords.

He was quietly humming as well, just staring at the ceiling.

I smiled slightly, slowly walking down the stairs and over to where he was.

"Oh, hey Diana.'' He furrowed his eyebrows, sitting up.

"Hi." I say, sitting down next to him.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Just tired." I mumbled, nodding. "But I'm okay."

No I'm not, nothing close to okay.

"Are you sure?" He asks, making me feel really upset, just knowing this wasn't going to be here in.. I don't know, a month and a half.

It was mid July, I had weeks. That's all I had.

"No.." I whispered after awhile, and set my head in my hands. "I know, I'm the most positive person when it came to this, I never let it get to me. But now I'm scared. I'm just so scared to lose you, lose Luke.. Everyone." I murmured. "And you know I never wanted to put such a heavy burden on you or on anyone."

"You aren't a burden, Diana." He frowned. "Hey, look at me."

Hesitantly, I locked eyes with his, tears brimming in mine.

"What are you gonna do?"

"What?"

"What will you do when I die?" I asked, my voice shaking. The question had to be asked at some point.. This was the time.

"I.." He was speechless. "I don't know what I'd do."

"Exactly. I want you guys to live your lives, not just let me bring you down after this. You know.. Maybe.. Maybe this summer wasn't supposed to happen."

"Diana, please." He told me. "Don't talk like that. I.. I love you." He said out of nowhere which made me freeze in place.

"I.. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." He closed his eyes, shaking his head.

"Oh no." I sighed, realizing what had probably happened. "Ashton."

There was a silence, before he drew back and stood up.

"Okay, so I fell in love with you Diana. That's the problem." He rose his voice. He seemed to be on the verge of tears. "And I don't care if you don't love me back because there's always Luke. He'll always be there, when I'm here just constantly trying to get you with me, here. In my arms. I love you Diana, and I.. I'm sorry."

I held a hand to my mouth in pure shock, just closing my eyes. I didn't expect this. To see that I had been so clueless made me feel more than guilty.

"I.. Ashton, I don't know what I feel.'' I tell him. "Sometimes it's just a numb feeling, sometimes it's just pure pain.. But then when it comes to you? I don't know.'' I whispered, looking away from him.

If I knew beforehand that this conversation would happen, I wouldn't have came downstairs in the first place.. But he loves me. And so does Luke. And now I don't know what to do because two people love me. What was I going to do?

"Yeah, because.. It'll always be Luke. He's the one who got you first. I was too stupid, too scared to get in between. That's the problem." He sighed, about to leave but I stopped him.

"Ashton wait." I say, walking over to him. He turned around, making me gasp when I realize how close we were. "I'm sorry. I told you, I told all of you I didn't want this."

"Well this is what you got. This is all you've got Diana." Ashton said. "You're dying, there's no lie in that. And the worse thing happens, here I am, admitting I've fallen in love with you when I shouldn't have. and I'm sorry." His voice shook, as I look up at the tall boy. There were tears in his hazel eyes, his lips pressed into a thin line. "I've felt this way.. For I don't know how long."

"How long?" I asked anyway, staring down.

"Ever since I first met you. I just never wanted to admit it to myself until now." He breathed out.

I slowly locked eyes with him. "It's okay." I whispered.

I reach up to gently wipe away his tears, as I hadn't expected what happened next.

Ashton leaned in, my hand still pressed to his cheek. His soft lips met mine as I furrowed my eyebrows at the feeling.

What broke my heart, shattered it, is that I felt the exact same way when I kissed Luke.

The butterflies in my stomach, my mind just going crazy.

I pulled away, my eyes widening.

"Ashton. This.. This isn't right.'' I said, shaking my head.

"I'm sorry.'' He apologized. "I know I shouldn't have done that I--"

"Then why did you?"

"Why did you kiss me back?" He hit, making me tense.

"I.. I love Luke, Ashton." I sighed, closing my eyes. "I can't do this to him. Neither can you."

"Diana?" A voice said, and everything just seemed to fall right at one single moment. One single mistake just making everything complicated. More than it should be.

"Luke." Ashton and I had said in unison as I looked at him.

"Let me handle this please. I'm.. I'm an idiot." Ashton gushed. "Luke wait!"

.

I stood there, my heart dropping. At the same time, I felt blood trickle down my nose as I gasped, when more blood had left.

I did the only thing I could do, and that was scream.

I fell to my knees, soon coughing hysterically. The pain struck through me like it never had before. When I looked at my hands, blood from when I coughed covered them.

I was afraid that no one heard me until I hear steps quickly running down the stairs.

"Diana!" Belle headed down the stairs running to where I was on the floor.

"Help..Help." I coughed out, trying to not bleed all over the place. "I-It hurts Belle." I sobbed hardly.

"Calm down.. Calm down, Diana." She gasped, panicking herself as tears brimmed in her eyes. "We have to get you to the hospital right now."

"I.. Tell Luke I'm.. I'm sorry." I barely got the words out before blood came from me.

"Don't talk, Diana. Please.'' She cried. My sight blurred as I had just stared at the ceiling.

My eyes soon moved to the wall and I was left in a last shocked state.

My mom was standing right there.

All I could hear were panicked voices before my eyes fluttered closed and I was gone.