JJ Maybank imagines

self inflicted

TW: self harm
Requested
———

I sat in my closet with the door shut and the lights off. This was the place I'd come to when I wanted peace, I hated being around my family. The yelling, the shouting, the degrading, I couldn't take it anymore.

I flicked the lighter, the closet now being illuminated by an orange flame. My hands began to shake and I dropped it, causing the flame to disappear.

No, Y/n, you promised. No more.

Tears brimmed my eyes as I tried not to cry but quickly failed. My hands covered my mouth as I silently sobbed.

Do it. It'll distract you.

My hand blindly searched the carpeted floor until I felt the lighter, clasping my fingers around it I slid my sweatpants down to my knees. As the familiar orange flame reappeared I inched it closer to my skin before taking a deep breath and closet my eyes.

Suddenly, the pain washed away all the bad thoughts. All I could focus on was the burning sensation on my inner thigh. It was momentary relief though, as the flame quickly made me pull the lighter away. Before I could burn again my phone chimed, a text from Kie and Sarah.

Pogue princesses

Kie
Come to The Wreck, we're all meeting here for lunch

Sarah
French fries are calling my name

Y/n
Be there soon

I threw the lighter into an old shoe box and pushed myself to my feet, shimmying my sweatpants back up my legs. When I exited my closet my mom came barging into my room, making me jump, "You scared the shit out of me" I gasped.

"This room is fucking filthy," She complained, pointing to my floor, "Your babysitting tonight so don't plan on going out with your irresponsible little friends."

"Sorry, already made plans." I denied. As I opened my dresser drawer to grab a pair of shorts she slammed it shut, catching my finger. I grabbed my hand in pain and doubled over, "What the fuck!?"

"Me and your dad want to go out tonight, where is your brother supposed to go?" She hissed, always making me the bad guy. On top of being a horrible person she was also a horrible mother, always pawning my brother onto me. Don't get me wrong, I loved him, but being forced to parent a child that isn't mine is getting old.

"I don't know, not with me. Ship him to the neighbors like you always did with me." I groaned, standing up and shaking my hand so the pain would go away.

"What are you trying to say? 'Cause if you're trying to get mouthy I'll send your father in here." I tensed at her words but soon it was overcome with anger. Anger of always being told I wasn't good enough. Anger of being treated like I was garbage in this family. Angry because of all the weight I carried at the age of seventeen.

"Huh, I don't know, maybe that you two are deadbeat fucking parents that shouldn't have had the option to have children!?" I shouted. Without caring that she was in the room I dropped my sweatpants and slipped on a pair of shorts.

"What's on your legs?" My mother asked, trying to reach for my arm but I pulled away, continuing to grab various items around my room and shoving them in my backpack, "Y/n L/n, what is on your legs!?"

"Oh fuck off, don't start caring now!" I shrugged her hand off my shoulder and pushed her away, creating distance between us, "I'm staying at John B's with the pogues."

"The hell you are, wait until your father finds out about this!" She exclaimed.

"So go tell him." I sighed, being over this conversation. When she ran out of the room I slung my backpack over my shoulders and opened my bedroom window and jumped out, making sure to close it behind me. Thankfully my parents had no idea where any of the pogues lived so once I was around the block they'd have no idea where I was or when I was coming home.