Chapter 58

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Monday 10th May, 1977

"Hey, Y/n, do you want to sit with us at the Gryffindor table today?" I could hear the hope in James's voice even though I knew he was trying to hide it.

I nodded my head, giving him a small smile. "Yeah, sure."

The marauders and I weren't back to being best friends like we had been before. We'd all hurt each other, and so even when we weren't fighting we still needed time to heal and mend our relationship. We were working on it, but it would take time. I was just glad we were all willing to try and fix it, rather than constantly being at each other's throats like we had been before.

I followed them to the Gryffindor table, sitting down between James and Peter. Remus and Sirius were opposite me, and for a moment I felt like the sun, and they were all orbiting me, though I knew James would the sun, not me.

"Will you move back into the Gryffindor Tower?" Sirius asked.

I hesitated before answering. I'd enjoyed staying in the Slytherin dorm, spending time with my friends and waking up to Regulus every day. I was afraid of overstaying my welcome though, and I hated the idea of becoming a burden, so eventually I agreed.

"Yeah, I think I will."

My eyes darted to the entrance to the Great Hall just as Regulus was entering, and I felt my heart stutter. I'd told him, as well as the others, including Dorcas because she'd been adopted into the group, everything that had happened last night, spilling my heart out to them. I'd told them how afraid I'd been, and how I'd lost control and made Selena scared of me. I hadn't been able to look at Regulus while saying that bit, because I felt so ashamed. I didn't want people to fear me, because it made me feel like a monster, and I hated the idea of Regulus thinking of me as a monster.

They'd all been understanding though, many of them verbalising their own desires to beat the other Slytherins up. They hadn't judged me or called me a despicable human being. They'd supported me and told me it was alright. They'd been good friends. Even so, I'd still felt uneasy around Regulus, wondering if he was repulsed by me. He didn't say anything, but that didn't mean he wasn't.

I watched as Regulus's eyes scanned the room before seeing me sitting at the Gryffindor table. He smiled at me when I smiled at him, though it didn't reach his eyes, and he walked to the Slytherin table without giving me another glance.

I was worried by what that meant, and if he really did hate me. I hoped not, but with the self-loathing I had for myself it made it hard not to believe others didn't hate me as well. I'd probably apologise to Selena if I didn't hate her so much, because while a part of me had relished in seeing Selena defeated a larger part of me regretted it and regretted making her feel that terrified.

The marauders did a good job at distracting me though, dragging me into their conversations time and time again, determinedly trying to lighten the mood whenever they noticed I started to go down. I noticed though that there was an intentional avoidance of any subject that could potentially branch into Regulus. It was clear they still didn't like the idea of us together, but I was glad that they were at least trying.

I went to class, Charms flying past in a blur, and then for my second subject I sat next to Regulus. At the start of the lesson, we pretended everything was fine, talking to one another with a forced ease that seemed a bit stiff. I didn't want to create tension between us, but I also didn't want to let this horrible act go on.

"What's wrong, Regulus?" I eventually asked when I mustered up the courage.

Regulus blinked, looking at me in surprise. "What?"

"I know somethings wrong," I said, "and if it's because of what I did to Selena, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to, and I just let the anger get the better of me, and I hadn't meant to-"

"Y/n no," Regulus interrupted. "I couldn't care less what you did to Selena. I would have done worse if I was in your position."

I let out a breath I didn't realise I was holding. He didn't hate me because of what I'd done. It made me suddenly feel like maybe I wasn't a monster, because all of the people closest to me didn't believe I was, and I trusted them.

"So what is it then?" I asked.

Regulus sighed, looking at his desk rather than me. "I just- I'm worried that we'll spend less time together now that the marauders know. I don't want to see less of you, especially after spending so much time apart."

I grabbed his hand, giving it a squeeze. "You know I'd never let that happen." Regulus just shrugged so I continued. "We can all hang out together."

Regulus's head snapped up, his eyes wide as they met mine. He opened his mouth but then closed it, seeming at a loss for words. I had to struggle not to laugh at his reaction.

"That was a joke, right?" he eventually asked.

I shook my head. "Nope."

Regulus scrunched up his nose like a toddler at my response. "Y/n, I love you, but I am not going to spend anymore time with Sirius than absolutely necessary."

I raised my eyebrow at his words and he stared defiantly back. He obviously didn't want to admit he cared for his brother, but I knew he did. Just like I knew Sirius still Regulus. I hid my smile as I realised I now had the power to help start mend their relationship. If I made them spend enough time together, surely they'd eventually get along, right?

"Oh no, you've got that look on your face," Regulus groaned.

I stared at him incredulously. "What look?"

"The look you get whenever you're planning something. What are you thinking about?"

I shrugged, feigning boredom. "Nothing really."

"Y/n!"

. . .

Monday 10th May, 1977

I met up with the marauders outside our Defence Against the Dark Arts class, joining in the conversation as we entered the classroom. We all got seats next to each other and continued speaking quietly with one another until the teacher spoke.

As the lesson plan for today was explained, my gaze strayed to Sirius, and I remembered my plan from earlier. I wanted to help fix their bond. They both deserved to be happy together, in one another's lives. I hated that Walburga and Orion helped ruin their relationship and longed for the day where they might once again speak to one another without hate lacing their words.

When the teacher started speaking and conversation started again, the four boys were immediately chattering with one another while I watched on in silence. I would usually participate in the conversation, but my mind was still fixed firmly upon Regulus and Sirius and how and when I should make my move to start helping fix their relationship.

Now was as good a time as any.

"How was your class Y/n?" Remus asked, giving me the perfect opportunity to test out the waters.

I smiled at him. "It was good. Regulus and I just messed around majority of the time."

I watched apprehensively at the boys' reactions. Peter and Remus were both fine, as I'd guessed they would be, questioning what class I had and if I had any homework. It was James and Sirius I was worried about, though their reactions were much better than I had initially guessed they would be. Both boys had stiffened up at his name and hadn't said anything, but as the conversation was driven away from him they slowly started talking again, and then everything was back to normal.

It wasn't perfect, but it was a start.

A/N:

y/n helping sirius and regulus fix their relationship <33

the black brothers relationship is honestly so important to me and i love them so much and they WILL get their happy ending even if i have to fist fight voldy myself to get it for them

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