DOM & Little Academy 1

45. Baby Glenn

4220 Words

A page from Glenn's journal

    Most people think that being forced to wear diapers would be traumatic for anyone. But honestly, that was the last thing on my mind. I need to be clothed, and they were going to be needed. I knew that before I went to that room the first day.

    Having a pacifier put in my mouth for the first time felt odd to me. But it did help calm me down when we entered the cafeteria.

    That first bottle, was also odd. But it filled me up. It also relaxed me and reminded me that someone was there to take care of ME. Instead of me having to take care of everyone and everything else.

    That dragon outfit that my mate put me in was humiliating at first. But it kept me warm. It also reminded me that I couldn't walk at first. Not that I didn't try. But it also reminded me of who I was. Who I really am. I still am a dragon. I may not look like it right now. But I am still a king as well. And I should act like one.

    Really, to be honest, being small like this is really no big deal. I still have my mind. It's just more overwhelming at times. Not the stuff I can't do, even tho sometimes that's really hard for me. It's the stuff I can't stop from happening. As an adult I have control over almost all aspects of my life. If I do something then I know what's going to happen next. And for the most part when it's going to happen. But being a baby, I no longer have that control. I can't even tell when I'll need to go to the bathroom. But the trade off for that, is knowing that when I do go, all I have to do is tell someone and they clean me right up without delay. I now have people happy to wipe my butt for me any time I ask. Now how am I not the king of the people around me?

    But here's where it really get's hard for me. All the thoughts running through my head all the time. All the emotions that normally I am able to stop or blockout. Those are all right there on display for all to see.

    When Tiggger fell over and his bear fell on him, that was funny. He looked like a little kitten playing with a teddy bear and the bear decided to play back. Who wouldn't think that was cute and funny. He didn't get hurt by it and he seemed to still be having fun when it happened. But when my bear fell on to of me.... It scared me to death. This giant bear was attacking me and there was nothing I could do about it. But instead of controlling my emotions and thinking first. The first thing I do is brake out in tears and start crying like a baby.

    I know, I know. I am a baby right now. Well at least I look like one. I was told that I would not loose who I was. I would keep my mind and that I would just look like a baby. But I think something went wrong. I not only look like a baby, but I'm starting to act like one too. And that really scares me. What If I get stuck this way? What if when the week is over, I can't change back? Even worse. What if at the end of the week I don't want to change back? Did anyone even think about that? What if some or all of the people that go through this don't want to change back? Will they have a whole school of babies? Will they have to bring others in to take care of them for the rest of there lives? Is this some sort of plot to get more babies in the world? Is this something Tiggger thought up so he could take over the world? So many thoughts running through my head all the time, and I can't stop them.

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    Okay, mommy saw what I was typing and she saw me starting to cry. So she just hugged me and gave me a pacifier. She told me that writing this stuff down is a good thing. But to try not to think about only the bad stuff.

    The pacifier is helping to keep me calm. And I really enjoy the hugs all the time. Those keep me held together. And the toys keep me distracted from all that is going on around me. The things I now know I can no longer control. I am no longer in control of anything except for me now. And most of the time, I'm not even in control of myself. At least not the way I was before. But this is only the end of the first day. So I guess we will see how the rest of the week goes. For now, I'm just going to do a little recap of what happened today. Starting with what happened after we got to the cafeteria.