ETERNAL | namjoon ✔️

𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚢 𝚘𝚗𝚎.

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𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚢 𝚘𝚗𝚎.

⤜ ✮ ⤞

Namjoon was conflicted.

Watching Celine walk into their bedroom, still tired but finally able to walk on her own, his stomach twisted uncomfortably. She moved shakily towards the bed, standing for a moment and looking down at it. 

She looked lost.

More than anything else right now, Namjoon wanted to touch her. He wanted to heal her; reach for her through the frayed bond and patch it up, allow it to thread itself back between them until she was back to full health. But he wanted to touch her for other reasons, too. The possessiveness that had risen in him when she'd been taken hadn't yet gone away, and still something inherently primal was tugging at his stomach, that monster that often prowled around in there when he kissed her demanding that he mark her as his own once more.

And yet, seeing her now, looking lost and shaken in the middle of their room, he knew that was not what she needed.

Considering what she had said to Jin - or what she had struggled to say - Namjoon had a horrible, awful notion of what had happened to her with Baek-yu. Celine said he didn't touch her, but he promised to do things to her. Things that were obviously still whirring around her mind right now.

He couldn't even imagine how awful she must feel. Above all else, he figured the last thing that she would want right now is someone's hands all over her, even if they were Namjoon's.

And so Namjoon put aside his own urges, his newfound need to possess and protect her, and reached through the bond instead, feeling around for what she needed.

"Celine," he said eventually, following an instinct. "How about a shower?"

She turned to him, eyes a little wider at the prospect of getting clean, of washing away the memories of the day. She nodded. "Y-yes."

He smiled, moving to her, gently taking her hand and leading her to the bathroom. "Will you be okay... on your own? Do you want help?" he asked, swallowing hard. 

He had never seen her anything other than clothed, and honestly he thought he might combust if he saw her naked. But if Celine needed him to be there for her while she showered, he would push his own desires as far down as they would go. If she needed him, he'd be there.

Thankfully, she shook her head at his offer. "W-will you... stay here?" she asked, her voice quiet.

Namjoon grinned in relief. "Yes, baby. I'll be right here on the other side of the door," he promised her. 

This seemed to comfort her and she stepped into the bathroom, letting it close behind her. Moments later, Namjoon heard the whir of the shower and cascading water. 

She was in there for a long time. And yet Namjoon didn't slacken once. He stood, ear beside the door, listening for any sign that she had fallen or struggled and needed him. Only once was his focus broken - by Jin, knocking the door to tell him PD-nim was there.

"Tell him we'll talk to him tomorrow," Namjoon called back. PD-nim could wait. Celine was the most important thing right now. 

By the time she emerged, freshly washed and wrapped in a bathrobe, face glowing pink from the warmth, Namjoon was beginning to get tired himself.

He crossed the room, grabbing a spare pair of sweatpants and a hoodie that had just been washed, pushing them into her arms before heading into the bathroom himself. Once he had brushed his teeth and emerged, she had changed, and Namjoon couldn't even begin to explain the relief he felt seeing her there, sat at the edge of his bed, in his clothes.

Back where she belonged. 

Namjoon made to move towards her, and then stopped.

"Uh-uhm," he began, swallowing his doubts, indicating to the second bed - the one he hadn't slept in for the last few nights. "I can sleep over there, if you want me to."

Celine's eyes widened. "You want to?"

"No!" Namjoon replied instantly, moving towards her until he stood staring downwards, seeing the hurt in her eyes. "No, I just - if you want space..."

Celine reached for his hand, pulling him down onto the bed next to her. "I want you, Joonie," she said, her eyes glistening. 

Namjoon could have exploded with the relief. He would, of course, have slept apart from her if she wanted that - but the bond was screaming at him to be near her, and he was glad she felt the same. 

They twisted so that they were lying down, pulling the covers over them. As if instinctively, Celine curled herself into his side, pressing her face to his chest and her arms wrapped around his torso, resting lightly on his back. 

Namjoon let himself relax into it, resting his chin on her head, smelling the fresh, clean scent of her. 

It was quiet, for a moment. Namjoon tried to think of the right thing to say in a situation like this. It was late, and both of them were exhausted, but he needed to say something.

"Celine," he said into her hair eventually, stroking her back with his thumb. "If you want to talk about it, I'm here."

Celine didn't respond for a moment, and for a second Namjoon thought he had done the wrong thing by bringing it up. But then he felt the warmth against his shirt, and he knew she was crying. 

Namjoon felt the sob rise from her spine, where he had his fingers pressed against it. It rose and racked her body, the sound of it clenching his heart and squeezing so painfully it nearly winded him.

"Oh, baby," he murmured, wrapping his arm around her harder, stroking his knuckles down her back, feeling the anxiety and trauma that was pulsing through her veins as he reached towards her through the bond. She had never experienced these emotions before, and he hated that she was being affected by something so viscerally human. "Baby, I'm sorry."

It was all he could say. He couldn't tell her how guilty he felt for letting her go. How he would have killed that man today with his own bare hands if it meant having her back. How all he wanted was to keep her there forever, To hold her, reassure her, and never let her go again, never give anyone the opportunity to lay another finger on her.

Celine let the tears fall, nestling into Namjoon's hold, her tears staining his t-shirt. "J-just hold me, Joonie," she requested. "P-please."

Namjoon could do nothing but oblige, stroking her back as she continued to cry softly, his heart aching for her until finally her breathing slowed, her tears dried up, and the two of them fell asleep that way, entangled together, closer than they had ever been before.

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