use me

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use me: the night john b and sarah were pronounced 'dead' is the night y/n lost herself. the night jj realized his girl was the most broken she's ever been. the night he realized he would give her every piece of him until she was okay.
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'We lost them'

Shoupes words were branded in the back of mine on repeat like a broken record. My wet clothing stuck to my skin in an irritatingly itchy way but I was frozen on my bed. I was freezing, my body trembled as it tried to warm itself since we all stood in the rain for too long hours prior in a tent.

I stared at my phone screen and waited for the text. The text I got every night from John B. It was a simple 'goodnight' text I've been receiving since we were old enough to have phones.

He's alive. He can't be dead. He's going to text me any minute now. I thought to myself.

"Y/n, baby." JJ whispered as he re-entered my room from showering. I didn't look up, my eyes were glued to my phone screen. I would give anything to get up and shower, the rain had made my hair and body feel disgusting but I didn't want to miss his text, "I made sure there was hot water left." He continued.

I stayed sat on the edge of my bed with my feet folded beneath me, my head looked into my phone which was resting on my legs.

Memories of John B and I flashed through my mind like a movie. We were best friends since diapers, when my mom died he became my person. I was always at his house fishing, playing tag, climbing trees. We did everything together. He was the brother I never had but always needed.

JJ stood in front of me and let out a slow sigh and reached down to rest his hands on my legs, "Princess, you need to shower and eat." When he realized exactly why I wouldn't take my eyes off my phone he spoke again, "after you do that we can wait for the text together."

Finally finding my voice I let a few words slip, "he's going to text." I refused to move from this spot until I got my goodnight text from my best friend.

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JJ's pov
———

I knew what Y/n was waiting for and it broke me knowing she wouldn't be receiving her usual text from John B tonight. For the first time in all the years they've shared this tradition, my girl would have to go to sleep without it. And that broke me almost as much as it broke her.

"What if I sit in the bathroom with you and watch your phone while you shower?" I offered. I've never been one to tell her what to do but she's been sitting in wet clothes for five hours and she hasn't eaten anything since this morning. I had to put her needs above her wants, even if that meant telling her what to do.

She didn't respond. I kneeled down in front of her and looked at her features. Dark circles under her eyes, her wet hair clinging to her skin and her hands trembling in her lap.

"He's going to text me." She spoke again, this time her voice a little louder, a little stronger, "He would never forget to text me."

"Okay...you're right, he wouldn't forget." She was falling into a state of denial and I couldn't be the one to snap her out of it. If her being in denial got her to take care of herself I'd take advantage of it for the time being.

"Shoupe," She paused and pushed some hair out of her face as she sucked in a sharp breath, "Shoupe said he lost them, which means they can be found."

"They can be found." I assured. It hurt me sitting in front of her while practically lying to her face. I didn't want to believe Shoupes words from earlier but the chances of John B and Sarah being alive were slim to none, I couldn't give her more false hope than I already was. I was agreeing with her for a reason, not because I believed they were safe. I wanted to but I couldn't. We had to move forward, be strong, for them.

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