Do Not Want (Ariana/You)

Killing Boys - (Ariana POV)

Killing Boys – Ariana POV

Present Day – Tommy's Studio

"Now to move on to more sensitive questions, if you're up for it" I hear Zac ask.

This question got me a bit intrigued, and my attention couldn't have been more focused on this girl I once used to call mine.

I saw the camera focusing on Y/N as she looked at Zac, throwing him a slightly tense smile as she sat back up upright on the couch. I could see that this question was getting her nervous by the second.

"Uhm, sure. I mean, it depends on how sensitive the topic is Zac." Y/N's voice kind of shook as she answered.

I had my suspicion as to what it was going to be about. I had secretly been keeping an eye on everything that Y/N was doing since I broke up with her. My heart broke at the reminder of seeing her in a state I had never wanted to see her.

"It's about your struggle with addictions." Zac said to her, as the camera focused back on Y/N to record her attention.

"You don't have to answer any of that, babes." I heard an off-screen Lauren say.

"I swear to go stop calling her "babes"" I said under her breath but apparently still loud enough for Tayla to let out a chuckle at my comment.

I felt my heart pinch slightly as I saw the most caring gaze from Y/N directed at Lauren and that camera managed to capture it all.

"She used to look at me like that. I have lost her." I whispered to myself.

"With that attitude, you're definitely going to, if not already." I heard Tommy say from afar, in a very nonchalant tone.

Y/N had been a bit silent during this time, seemed like she was weighing her options when Zac disclosed the next question's topic.

"If you had asked me about this a couple of months ago, I would have honestly told you to go fuck yourself Zac." Y/N said, slightly chuckling.

I recognized that Y/N. She was deflecting how she must have still been hurt by that moment in her life. I know I was.

Seeing how she was the shadow of herself in all these tabloid pictures. How she was so aggressive and confrontational when that was the furthest from how she really was.

I knew she was in a dark time in her life. And I had signed a contract to not reach out to her so I couldn't even do anything.

Flashback – A little over a year ago – Ariana's home

My heart dropped as I scrolled past some Instagram posts in #Y/F/N Y/L/N. It was pictures of Y/N looking sickly like, tired and worn out. In a lot of pictures, she was seen holding an alcohol flask. Her once beautiful skin now looked rough with nearly puffed-out red eyes. I recognized that look because that's what Pete looked like on daily basis.

I knew it was the sign of alcohol and drug abuse.

Feeling absolutely helpless sitting in the middle of my label's meeting concerning some release they were planning, I quickly opened my texts.

I saw Scooter lean over to me, quickly glancing at my phone. Annoyed, I stuck my phone right in his face, nearly hitting his nose.

"I'm not texting her. Happy?" I snapped at him.

I noticed that this cause the meeting to go silent, and Scooter cleared his throat in a sign to keep the meeting going.

As people started talking again, Scooter leaned over to me and whispered.