When the Bad Boy Isn't Bad

Chapter 22: Food (Un)Safety

When I woke up, lights were glaring in my face. I guess the power had been turned back on.

And there was a burning smell in the air.

"Fletcher?" I called. "Olivia?"

"Fuck!" A crash came from my left and I spun to see Fletcher jumping on one foot, holding his toes while a frying pan lay on the floor next to his feet.

I laughed and pushed myself up out of the collapsed pile of blankets. "What are you doing?" I asked, taking in his disgruntled appearance. He was covered in flour and I'm pretty sure there was egg dripping from his hair.

"I might need a little help," he mumbled. He turned towards the kitchen door and walked in and I followed him, wrinkling up my nose at the burning smell.

A pan full of gooey pancake batter sat on the stove, flaming.

"Fletcher," I groaned and started laughing. "What the hell did you do?"

"I... um, I mighta tried to make breakfast. Pancakes. But like Olivia said, I obviously can't cook," Fletcher mumbled.

I slid down the side of the counter to sit on the floor, still laughing too hard to stand. "You're gonna burn the house down," I laughed, gagging on the smoke in the air.

Fletcher shifted on his feet, getting irritated. "Yeah, that's why I got you, but maybe the tears from your laughing could help put it out; you don't seem to be able to do much else."

I saw how upset he was getting and stopped laughing, then held out my hand. "Help me up?" I asked.

He looked at me and narrowed his eyes, but put his hand out. Halfway up, he let go and I fell back down.

"That's for laughing at me," Fletcher smirked. I glared at him and got up myself, then turned to the pan of blackened mess.

"God, I don't even know what to do with this," I muttered, pulling it off the burner. "Turn the water on."

I brought the pan over to the sink and braced myself. "Here goes nothing," I said, and dropped it quickly, screaming and backing away, covering my head, cowering in a corner. I heard a huge sizzle as a huge cloud of steam went up and then Fletcher laughing.

"Fer, it's not exploding anytime soon," he snorted, mocking my hunched over stance. "Or are you just playing peekaboo with the wall?"

I scowled at him, standing up and moving away from the wall. "yeah, cuz people totally play peekaboo with walls when they have no friends," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "Oh, and your smoke alarm is going off."

Fletcher jumped up. "Shit!" He said, and started waving a cookbook around the detector, trying to make it stop.

"Hey, keep it down, I'm trying to sleep!" Olivia yelled. The alarm finally shut off and everything was quiet. "Thanks!" Olivia yelled again.

The only sound was the gentle splash of the water still running in the sink.

We looked around and when our eyes met we started laughing, and we couldn't stop, sliding down to sit on the floor and holding our stomachs as they began to hurt from all the laughing.

"Maybe we -hic- shouldn't -hic- cook," I laughed between hiccups.

My phone buzzed, and I looked at the caller ID. "Crap, it's my mom," I told Fletcher. "I forgot to call her last night."

I stood and walked out to the living room, pressing the accept button.

"Jennifer!" My moms voice screamed as soon as the call connected. "Where are you, are you okay, I couldn't reach you, are you okay?"

I held the phone away from my ear, wincing at her high pitched voice. "Yeah, mom, I'm fine, I was with a friend when the blizzard hit and we went to their house, I'm totally safe; I even had pancakes for breakfast." Well, sort of.

"Okay, well, come home when you can," she said, calming down. "Don't go if the roads are too icy. I don't want you in a car crash or anything. Stay safe."

"Okay, bye Mom. My phone's dying," I said, and clicked the end call button.

I walked back to the kitchen where Fletcher was staring at the mass of blackened goop that was still in the sink from his pancakes, his nose wrinkled up in disgust.

"What the hell do we do with that?" He muttered as he sensed me come up beside him.

I rested my elbows on the edge of the sink and sized up the goo. "I don't know, man, sounds like a personal problem."

Fletcher threw his hands in the air. "Well, excuse me for trying to make breakfast for you...and Olivia. And I was starving."

My breath caught in my throat when he said he had been making me breakfast. Every book ever written has a cheesy scene with the guy making breakfast for his girlfriend, I swear.

"F-fine, I'll help you get rid of it," I managed at last. "We have a few options. Trash?"

"Smells too bad," Fletcher said, wrinkling up his nose.

I nodded. "Wash it down the sink?"

"It'll get stuck and I'm not a plumber," he shrugged.

I pursed my lips. "Um... we could... oh! We could burn it!"

Fletcher laughed. "Yeah, take all your problems and just burn them. But no, it's already burnt. Which is our whole problem, if you haven't noticed."

I crossed my arms and pouted at him. "Well, fine then, you come up with an idea."

Fletcher grinned. "Dump it in the cat litter box."

I jumped up. "You have a cat?" I screamed.

Fletcher got a worried look on his face. "You're not allergic, right?"

I laughed. "No, I just love cats. We'll go with your idea, but let's deal with the real problem now: where's the cat?"

Fletcher rolled his eyes and pointed over to a cat food dish. "Fill that up, he'll come. I'm gonna go dump the stuff."

I poured some cat food I found into the dish and an orange cat came tearing around the corner, letting out a loud meow as he ran, making me laugh.

"His name's Tucker," Olivia's voice came from behind me and I jumped.

"Oh," I recovered. "That's cute."

Fletcher walked back into the kitchen, wiping his palms on his pants. "Nothing to see here," he grinned, spotting Olivia.

"I'm starving," she complained. "Can't anyone cook?"

Fletcher and I looked at each other and started laughing.

Olivia looked over at us in defeat and threw her hands up in the air, walking over to a cabinet. "Fine, I'll just have cereal."

"I'll help you get it," Fletcher offered. I looked over at him and raised my eyebrows.

"Are you sure that's safe? You could, oh, I don't know, drown in it," I teased. Fletcher glared but started laughing when I did.

"You guys get your own food," Olivia muttered. "Oh, and I'll take that." She grabbed a bottle of chocolate sauce off the counter and stalked out of the room.

"To be honest, I'm not even hungry after that pancake mess," Fletcher said.

"Well neither am I, so your house should stay standing for today," I smiled.

"AAH," Olivia screamed, and a dish shattered in the other room. "Crap! Ow!"

"Or not," Fletcher muttered.

~~~~~

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