The Beautiful Game

Chapter Forty-Three - Lou

Soft lace brushed against my fingertips as I stood in the department store and gawped at the crimson bodysuit Ella had thrown at me moments before. I held it in my hands and looked at it like one would look at a weapon of mass destruction.

"You can't be serious." I whisper frantically, my eyes darting around as I blushed furiously.

The sales assistant was a glamorous girl in her mid-twenties, she was reading an edition of Vogue behind the checkout, blissfully unaware of my existential crisis.

"Dead serious." Ella sipped on her iced chai, continuing to meander through the racks of lingerie, some already thrown over one arm.

"You want me to wear this in front of Carter?" I hissed in disbelief.

It was light in my hands, deep red lace sewn in intricate flowers, a thin silk band at the waist and plunging neckline. The back was a thong, travelling into a small piece of thicker fabric between the legs, it certainly wouldn't leave much to the imagination. It was crafted beautifully, undeniably sexy.

"Lou you're a total knockout, you should wear that for yourself." She shrugged whilst balancing her own collection of lingerie. "It's simply a bonus that it would send Carter into a total tailspin." I stared down at the garment.

"Think about it. What better way to celebrate the end of your placement? Go out with a bang." She winked.

The past whirlwind of weeks with him, I'd never felt so feminine. My skin felt softer, my hair shinier; the new spring in my step was undeniable. Jesus, turns out orgasms really did wonders for your health. Shit, Professor Simmons' face would be as red as this bodysuit if I did my dissertation on that.

Sure, I'd been naked with Carter, in dim lighting; but for some reason, imagining myself strolling up to him wearing the lingerie and finally losing my virginity was making my throat close up.

Taking the final leap.

My heart raced as I let my mind wander.

His intense eyes on me as he pulls the thin straps down my arms, unravelling me slowly. The tension building as the lace brushes against my body, his warm hands moulding to my breasts and waist. Imagining him between my thighs, nothing separating us, his breath on my neck, groaning as thrusts into me.

I wanted to. God, I wanted to.

The night we'd shared together after his concussion was unlike anything I'd ever experienced before.

It was the first time since my Dad died that I'd talked about our happy place. Allowed myself to talk through memories without letting the darkness swallow me whole.

Carter hadn't made jokes, he hadn't excused himself because it felt awkward or weird; he'd listened.

Then he'd kissed me with a softness that made me feel beautiful, treasured.

Maybe, just maybe, our casual agreement was getting to both of us. I'd been a fool, nothing about it was casual anymore.

I was falling for him. Hard and fast.

He was the first thing I thought about when I woke up in the morning, he was the last thing I thought about before I fell asleep at night.

My mind, usually relentless with exhausting thoughts of college, desperation to prove myself and fighting the darkness of grief; was finally quieter. For once, my thoughts weren't the most awful place to be. They were filled with thoughts of Carter.

His brown hair ruffled from sleep, his eyes warm and crinkled at the sides as he grinned at me. The feel of his strong arms wrapping around me, squeezing me like he couldn't help it.

I chose to ignore the part of my brain that was screaming at me, trying to claw its way out.

This is what he does. He's an expert at getting into girl's heads, and their pants.

I didn't want to believe that.

When he'd brushed my face the next day, tucking my hair behind my ear, in front of his entire team, I knew I couldn't ignore my feelings for him; nor the thought that he might've felt the same.

So, with that in mind, I strolled up to the cash register and bought the damn lingerie.

***

I tightened my thick green scarf around my neck before digging my hands deep into my coat pockets as I exited the hospital's automatic doors. I'd done it.

Today had been my final shift of placement in the ER; my feet were sore, my head itching from the tight high ponytail I'd sported for the last eight hours. Despite all of that, there was a dreamy smile on my face as I walked towards the bike rack.

I was one step closer to graduating, one step closer to my future.

Closer to dedicating everyday trying to prevent people from losing someone important to them.

"Lou." I turned to see Luke jogging over from the entrance, a white envelope in hand. He wasn't wearing a jacket, still in his scrubs.

A couple of women who'd been stood waiting for their bus craned their necks to watch him approach. I suppose I couldn't blame them, he looked like he could've been strolling off the set of Grey's Anatomy himself.

"Hi." My ponytail whipped around my face in the cold wind.

"Wanted to give you this before you left." He handed the envelope towards me. I eyed it quizzically, causing him to laugh. "It's a letter of recommendation. You've been great these past few weeks, and I know Harvard Med is a ball buster, so, every little helps."

"That's, wow, thank you." I felt uncomfortable as I pocketed the letter, smiling awkwardly.

I'd noticed Luke's often glances whenever we'd worked together, his playful nudges as he'd passed me in the corridors; the fact that he'd flirted with just about every female in his vicinity had helped me ignore them.

It seemed natural for him to be flirtatious, like it was just his personality; he clearly had no trouble with women.

"Well, maybe I'll see you in an OR in the future?" He grinned, his muscles tensing as he fought the cold travelling through the thin material of his scrub top.

"Maybe. Thanks again, for the letter." I smiled and went to turn away when he moved forward, pulling me into a brief hug and kissing me on the cheek.

I stood still, surprised by the move. He simply pulled back and smiled, winking before running back towards the hospital entrance.

"Weird." I muttered to myself, before turning back towards the bike rack, looking forward to a shower and glass of Prosecco.

Carter leant beside my bike, his expression blank and eyes unreadable in the dark.