criminalminds x reader

chapter 17

Tw sh. Talk about the case which involves rape

When I finally got home, I was finally alone.
This is want i wanted but...idk.

I needed to cut

I know my therapist gave me tools now but I just need to do it one last time, and then I'm going to try.

I drage the blade through my skin and feel the sweet sensation.

I did this for a couple of minutes until I was satisfied. I warped my wound up again and crawled into bed

All alone. Alone with my own thoughts.

My head started spiralling, I wanted Spencer. Be he wasn't here.

I remember the girl jn the bar gave me her number so I texted.

Y/n: hi, I'm y/n the girl jn the bar you played all I wanted from paramore with. I'm sorry I only texted now

Kai: ooww yes I remember you. How are you doing? With the whole girlfriend thing.

Y/n: not great. I just had ny first therapy session and it was very heavy

Me and kai texted back and forth for awhile. Turns out she's a firefighter.
I didn't really talk about therapy at all. Just some small talk.

Eventually I went to sleep.

~

I woke up early again bc of my dreams.
So I went to pick up my prescription for my anxiety meds and then went into work.

I immediately sat behind the computer, waiting for hotch to tell my what I can Do.

When penelope came in she hugged me tight and asked
"How did therapy go?"
"It was fine" I could see that she wanted to here more but I didn't want to talk about.

I don't want to talk at all. Nobody would care anyway.

I thought the team would call or text yesterday to ask about therapy  or to check in but nobody did. Not even Spencer.

After spinning my chair a few times, hotch called pen.

"The garcia's at your service, what magic can we work today" She said exited.

"I want you to give me the address and background check om those 3 technicians" hotch asked.

"I already sent those yesterday " I said quietly.
It wasn't clear enough so penelope repeated what I said.

"Oke thanks. Penelope can you try to hack in the hospitals system to see what filles the unsub downloaded?"

"What?! That was my idea? And what do you mean downloaded?" I say angry and confused.

"One if the workers had already installed a camera, the quality is bad but we saw the unsub plug a hard drive or something out of the computer. He probably put the files on there. And y/n you can help penelope but I don't want you to do the hacking. You've already done enough of that"

Hotch ended the call angry. I get he has to stay professional but I might thought he would ask about the therapy bc he's the one who's forcing me.

"You can-" Penelope tried to say something but I walked out the room.

I had hidden a razor in my phone case. Yk just in case I really needed it. Besides it can also come in handy with the job. I also wear a gun my Enkels.
I walked into the bathroom stall and  did some more cutting.
My bandages had a big red spot of blood from yesterday.

I didn't have any clean ones on me so after I was done cutting I just put them back on.

I walk back into penelope's office
She turned her chair around and looked at me she wanted ro say something but I stopped her.