TMI meets TID 3

32: Alexa

Numbness was all I could feel, as I laid in my bed. I didn't know how long ago I had stormed out of the dining room. All I knew was that I was leaving. I was leaving Matthew.

I had known that at some point we all had to leave. I just didn't think that it would this soon. But as I thought about it, we had been here for a month and a half. How the time had flown by. Just then I heard my door open.

Scarlett walked in, holding a glass of water. She put it down on the table beside my bed, and took a seat on the edge of my bed.

"I'm so sorry, Lex." She said sadly.

I felt a fresh set of tears leak out of my eyes. I buried my face into the blankets ok my bed.

"This must be hard for you too." I said. "You have to leave James."

"Yes it's hard for me, but not as hard as it is for you." Scarlett said.

I turned to face her. She had a few tears sliding down her face too. I reached out and hugged her. She hugged me back tightly, and it was moments like these that I was very grateful to have Scarlett.

"You know, I kind of wish we never came here in the first place." Scarlett said, as we let each other go.

"Why?" I asked her.

"Because then we wouldn't have to go through this." She said sadly.

I was silent for a second. If I could take this trip back, would I? I wouldn't have met Matthew, but then I wouldn't have to experience all this pain. For once I didn't know which was one was worse.

"I wonder how Logan's taking it, with him liking Cordelia and all." Scarlett while chuckling softly.

"Probably not well. He seemed to be very in love with her." I said, and laughed.

"Do you think we'll ever come back here?" I asked her.

"I'm not sure. But something tells me that we won't." Scarlett said sadly.

I sighed. "How am I going to get through this?"

Scarlett hugged me again. "You will, Lex. I know you will."

I cried into Scarlett's shoulder, silently. Just then there was a knock at the door. Scarlett opened the door, and Lucie and Cordelia walked in. They both wore sad expression on their faces.

"I wish you all didn't have to leave." Lucie said sadly.

"Me too." Scarlett said sadly.

"Matthew is going to be so torn up about this." Cordelia said, with a sad expression.

I felt my heart drop at the sound of Matthew's name, and a few more slipped out of my eyes. After another hour, Scarlett, Lucie, and Cordelia all left my room. I decided to try to go to sleep, but Matthew kept floating into my mind.

How was I going to leave him? How was I going to leave the rest of my life knowing that I could never be with the person I truly loved? I tossed and turned in my bed. Matthew was beautiful. He always knew how to make me laugh, and he was of sweetest person I had ever met.

I found myself getting out of my bed, and walking toward my door. I opened it and I started to walk until I reached Matthew's room. I knocked on the door before I could stop myself, Matthew then opened the door. His eyes were all red and swollen, from crying I thought.

"Alexa." He said, his voice filled with pain.

"Can I stay the night with you?" I asked him hurriedly.

"Of course." He said, and he opened the door wider so I could walk in.

As I got into his bed, I remembered the first time I spent a night with him. It had felt awkward and weird. Now it felt natural, and right. As soon Matthew got into the bed, he pulled me close to him.

"I wish you didn't have to go." He whispered to me sadly.

I felt tears threatening to pour from my eyes.

"I wish I didn't have to either." I said, my voice cracking.

"I had completely forgotten that you all had to leave." Matthew said, his voice raw.

"I did too." Was I could say, until finally I started to cry.

"Oh Alexa." He said sadly, as he held me tight.

I cried into his shoulder. I didn't know how long I cried for, but all I knew was that I couldn't stop. Through it all, Matthew held me tight whispering that we'd be okay, every once and awhile.

"Can you promise me one thing?" I asked him, once I had calmed down a bit.

"Anything." Matthew replied at once.

"Promise me, that you'll never forget me." I said.

Finally I saw one tear slip from Matthew's eye.

"I could never forget you Alexa." He said. "Never."