criminalminds x reader

chapter 22

Tw sh and suicide

Y/n's pov:

When I got home, I just trew a few clothes in a backpack and put my kit in it.

I took out a pen and paper as i  was crying. I didnt know what to write.
I just hated the way I disappointed them and that I just can't take it anymore.

So I just wrote
I'm sorry I disappointed you guys

And left. I wasn't good at goodbyes.
I hoped on my motorcycle, and left everything behind.

I stopped by Eva's grave for a second and said
"I'll see you soon my love"
A man was gardening, and waved at me. I ignored it and stormed of again.
Tears kept leaving my eyes and fell of my face onto my shirt.

I took out my phone, and blocked it so I could still use it but penelope couldn't hack it. Or track it.

I jumped back onto my motorcycle, and drove out to a random direction.
I noticed I was driving towards the airport and sticked with it.

I have to leave everything behind, I can't risk my family finding me.

I cant die knowing they might be outside my door and walk in on me.

I walked in the airport and jumped on the first plane that was leaving.

Bye quantico.

On my way to Seattle.

Spence pov:

I called up hotch and told him about the note. Me and jj came back to the bau and had to tell penelope.
She was crying, everyone was.

"Do we even know if y/n was suicidal?" Rossi asked.

There was silence.
"I'll call y/n's therapist to ask if she can tell us anything "
Hotch said as he walked away.

After a few minutes he walked back in.
"Y/n's therapist knew y/n was still self harming. And she does believe y/n is suicidal but y/n never admitted it"
Hotch explained.

"Wha- we have to look for her. We can't just leave her and let her end her live"
Penelope pulled out her computer and tried to hack into y/n phone.

"She blocked it. I learned her how to do that and now she's using it against me" Derek started rubbing her back at an attempt to comfort her.

I was sending y/n about a hundred messages tell her how much I love her.

We tried alot of things. And drove around her neighbourhood but she was gone.

Penelopes pov:

Everyone went home, I kept calling and calling y/n phone since I couldn't sleep.
When someone picked up

"Y/N omg pumpkin are you oke?!" Was the first thing I said

"Hi this is (a name idk) from the airport of seatlle, someone left there phone on the plane. Could you tell me who the owner of this phone is and address so we can send it back"

I was disappointed, I gave her my address.
And called up the team.

"Y/n is in seatlle " I told them
"Wait what? How do you know that" emily asked
"I called her phone and someone from the airport of seatlle picked up"

"But that's great, now we can go and find her" jj said.

"Idk if we should chase her down to seatlle. First of all she can be anywhere. And second, we are treated y/n as if she were an unsub we are hunting down" hotch explained

"We can't just let her go" Spencer went on

"Spence there isn't much we can do"
Rossi told them.

I don't know what to do

Y/n pov:

I arrived in a hotel, I decided to tell them a fake new. And went into the room.

I immediately crashed, I dropped my bags and took out my kit.
I filled up the bad and took of my clothes. I got in the bad and drew one line after the other.

Them moved on and made a big vertical line on my wrist.

I watched as the water turned red.
More and more

I cant do this, I want to but I cant

Before I could stop I passed out.