After All This Time// Sebastian Sallow x Reader Hogwarts Legacy Fanfiction

Chapter 23

"Is there anything else you can give me?" I asked Nurse Blainey. "Anything at all?"

"I'm afraid not," she said. "We've tried pretty much everything in the book for this type of thing. Those last ones I gave you are the best I've got."

I sighed and slumped down. "It's getting really bad again," I told her. "It's not just dreams anymore, but I don't know what to call it. It's like dreaming, but I'm entirely awake. It's really hard to shake it when it happens."

"You're starting to experience PTSD attacks, and there's a few things you can do to help that," she informed me. I fidgeted with my hands, running my finger over the spot where Sebastian's ring should be. 

Nurse Blainey had written down a list of things I could do that might help when I started experiencing the flashbacks which included breathing exercises, counting objects in my field of view, and a few other things along that line. I didn't really see how these things would help, but I guess they'd be worth a try. 

She sent all the teachers whose classes I was supposed to attend tomorrow notes that I'd be absent and sent me back off to the Slytherin Commons. Even though I had nowhere to be tomorrow now, I didn't have any intentions of sleeping. I didn't want to take that medication. 

I went into the common room and sat on the floor by the window. I pulled the list the nurse had given me and tried the breathing thing. 

I didn't like that one all that much, so I moved on to the next thing on the list. Counting. 

I was supposed to pick a color or type of object, and count how many of them I could see. I guess I could count the fish that swam by the window. 

I counted and counted, until I got up to a number in the hundreds before I got bored. At least I knew that method somewhat worked. 

After a while, I headed back into the dorm and got in bed. Other students would be waking up soon, so I shouldn't exactly be hanging out in the main area in my pajamas. 

One of the only things I knew for sure right now was that I hated being like this. I wanted to do whatever I could to fix myself. I was supposed to be someone strong that others could depend on, but here I was- unable to sleep because I'm afraid of my own dreams, but not wanting to be awake because I hated the world for what it had done to me. 

Even if I didn't attend classes today, I needed to go to quidditch practice. Imelda wouldn't forgive me if I skipped out, especially with the upcoming game this weekend. 

I had one week to pull my head out of the gutter and be ready for it. 

I pretended to be asleep as Imelda and Nerida woke up in the morning. I didn't really need people knowing that I wasn't sleeping again. Especially in regards to quidditch, I couldn't keep stressing her out about what was going on with me. 

After they left for the day, I got back up out of bed and got dressed. I needed to do something today. 

I decided to head up to the owlery to check on my owl, Bob (Short for sir Robert the Nibbler). He tends to bite, which is why I don't really use him all that often unless he's used to the person I'm sending a letter to. Bob always liked Sebastian back when I used to send letters in our fifth year. Him and Poppy seemed to be the only others he didn't have any grudges against, Poppy sort of being a given with how good she is with animals. 

"Hey there, little man," I greeted him. I gave Bob a few treats that I'd brought in my pocket and got to work writing Poppy a letter. I wanted to let her know I was missing class so she and the others wouldn't worry about me. 

After that, I decided to go to Hogsmeade again and get something to either eat or drink there. On the walk down the path, I counted all of the fallen leaves on the ground that were still green. There were very few, seeing as we were into October now. Not long from now there'd be snow everywhere as well. I've never been a big fan of snow; I tend to get cold pretty easily, but that's nothing a scarf and a pair of gloves can't fix. 

I wish fixing me was that easy. I wish there was a set way to make it all go away. 

I was absolutely tired out of my mind right now from the lack of sleep, but at least the shaking had stopped. 

When I got into Hogsmeade, I made a bee line for the Three Broomsticks. I passed the musician who's usually playing in the streets and noticed he'd gotten a new instrument- a violin. 

"Just picked it up in Diagon Alley," he'd said, as I dropped a few sickles into the floating hat in front of his magical display. All of the instruments were enchanted to play by themselves; all he had to do was conduct. 

When I entered The Three Broomsticks, Sirona greeted me. "Good morning," she said. "Bit early in the day, isn't it? Shouldn't you be in class? And not to offend but you look like you should catch up on some sleep."

"That's what I'm supposed to be doing," I told her. "I'm excused from classes today."

"That bad, huh?" 

"Something like that," I chuckled. "What have you got to eat today?"

"Well it's still a bit early, so all I have on at the moment is porridge or soup of the day, which is broccoli cheddar."

"I'll take the porridge with some sugar," I decided. I put a few sickles down on the counter and she left for a moment before returning with a bowl of the porridge. 

Porridge isn't my favorite thing in the world, but I knew it wouldn't upset my stomach. At the moment, my body was still sensitive from the sleep medication and my appetite hadn't fully returned. I thanked Sirona and started to eat.