Chapter 13: Fears

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Nirvana's Pov

We soon arrived at Erudite headquarters to find Max,Eric, Jeanine, and Everret. I knew Everret from a Dauntless leader party my dad hosted at home. Quite the flirt if you were to ask me. Other than them was a few men dressed in blue. Jeanine's assistant probably.

"Why are you all here? What are we going to do?" I ask, becoming more nervous.

"Nirvana, if you could please follow me." Jeanine says, turning around and walking with authority radiating off of the woman. I turned towards Pops, for clarification. He nodded for me to start following her, and reluctantly did with him close behind.

We walk down a a blue hallway passing various rooms before coming up to a room that said 'High Authority Access Only'. She opened the door to reveal what seemed like the simulation room back at the Dauntless compound. The only exception was the single mirror on the wall in front the chair.

"Please sit down." She says, gesturing towards the chair in the middle of the room.

"What if I don't want to?" I challenge. What can I say, it was in my nature to cause trouble.

"Just do what you're told Angelica." Pops snaps at me. I flinch at how he used my original name against me.

When I was born, Pops originally wanted to name me Angelica. But when my mom saw how giggly I was as a newborn, she wanted to name me Nirvana. She remembered a time when she learned of Nirvana in her history class.

"Nirvana is a place of perfect peace and happiness, like heaven. In Hinduism and Buddhism, nirvana is the highest state that someone can attain, a state of enlightenment, meaning a person's individual desires and suffering go away."

That was the dictionary definition of my name. So Angelica became my middle name. Pops usually called me Vana (If I caused a little trouble) but sometimes called me by my middle name if he was not up for my trouble making.

I sit down immediately and Jeanine gave me a smug smirk. Eric raises his eyebrows at me in amusement with a smirk playing on his lips. Standing next to him, Everret was trying to hold back a laugh. Max just had his arms folded and was shaking his head in disappointment. My cheeks turned bright red in embarrassment.

"Maybe you should do what you are told more, Angelica." A sinister grin on Jeanine's face.

Maybe you should pull your head out of your ass, Jeanine.

One of her male assistants walks towards me with a syringe in hand filled with green liquid.

"What is that?" I flinch when he injects me with the syringe.

"Just relax." Jeanine's becomes hazy and fades away as black dots consume me. I last remember Pops's pained expression when he looked at me.

~*~

When I woke up, I was walking across chasm with no memory of before.

How did I get here?

I look down at myself to see myself shorter and flat chested. My hair was light blonde and longer, and my mom stood next to me holding my hand.

"Vana, do you want ice cream?" She kindly asks, ruffling my hair.

"Yes!" I say with my eight year old voice.

"I think Max might have some in his office." Mom says. I start to run for the ice cream, my ash blonde hair flowing behind me. I suddenly lose my balance and slip, my hands catching the edge of the chasm. I scream when a wave crashes against my legs.

"Mommy!" I sob but she just stays still. Soon, I fall off the chasm and crash into the ice cold water. I try kicking but it does no use, the water is too rough.

My heartbeat was probably the loudest and fastest it has ever been but I am able to calm it down in seconds. The scene blurs and I wake up again, with no memory of the scene before. I am enveloped in the dark.

~*~

Paul's Pov

I sat there in the room behind the one way mirror watching my daughter react to all 13 of her fears. The first fear really struck home for me. I couldn't bare watching it once I realized what it was. Hearing her voice again after eight long years was the worst part.

I could name all of her fears by the end.

1. Fear of drowning

2.Fear of the dark

3.Fear of spiders

4.Fear of oblivion

5.Fear of dying

6.Fear of rodents

7.Fear of becoming deaf

8. Fear of becoming blind

9.Fear of cats

10.Fear of her friends dying

11.Fear of Adam dying

12.Fear of me dying

13.Fear of not being loved by her mother

Her time was the fastest I have ever seen. Most didn't take more than a minute and half, a couple took three minutes. Although her time was very fast, she did not give off divergence. There was no manipulating of the simulation so there was no divergence.

Trust me, I know a divergent person when I see one. I am ashamed to say I had killed quite a few divergents, but it was my job. It was a job I could not avoid, and sometimes the deaths took a toll on me.

I really couldn't imagine losing either one of my kids after losing my wife. Killing them for my job would definitely go in my fear landscape.

"I tried to tell you she wasn't divergent." Max says, looking at Jeanine with a smug look on his face. We high five in victory as all the stress I had was lifted off my shoulders.

A smile stayed on my face.







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